


Genesis

by Brittsis



Series: Raegan Shepard [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Colonist (Mass Effect), F/M, Prequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-14
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-01-24 20:17:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 47,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1615748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brittsis/pseuds/Brittsis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a story going all the way back to the beginning. Before Eden Prime, before the Normandy, before her enlistment. This is the story of Raegan Cyrene Shepard and how she became the woman she is now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm editing and transferring this from my old ffnet account. Going to do a chapter a day until it get's caught up.  
> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos, and everything else.  
> It really does feed my soul.

She kept her hands up and danced out of the way. The other kid was older, larger, and stronger but he was stupid. While she avoided his punches and waited, he was tiring himself out. He was getting slower as time ticked by, she only had to wait for that perfect moment.

"Stop moving and fight chicken!" The ten year old called out as he lashed out once again. She only grinned as she ducked under his arm to deliver two quick punches to his gut. The other kid grunted and took a couple steps back. Now was her moment. Rushing forward, Rae continued her assault with hit after hit to his gut and chest. She grew cocky though as he regained his footing and contacted with the side of her head. Rae fell to her hands and knees as her vision swam and she tasted blood. She could hear the crowd cheer as the kid show boated his victory. He believed she was beaten and wouldn't recover from the blow. Rae spat out blood and winced as she spotted the tooth that had been knocked loose. Her parents were going to kill her.

Rae got up slowly, shaking the fog from her vision. She put her hands up again and charged. If she was going to die, she was going to go down fighting. The kid turned, spotting her just in time to get hit. Her first hit surprised him, the second snapped his head back, and the third was rewarded with a sickening crunch. He fell and she grinned, ignoring the pain coming from her hand. The others groaned and cursed as they readied to fight. She was out numbered five to one but that never stopped her before. Bouncing on the balls of her feet her eyes darted from one to the next, waiting for the first one to be brave enough.

"Oh shit it's the police!" One of the kids called before running off. Two officers raced into the alley way grabbing the two nearest to the opening. Rae pivoted and ran for the back of the alley. She jumped against the wall and grabbed the top of the fence only to have someone grab her ankle and pull her back.

\-------

"Raegan Cyrene Shepard, what in the world was you thinking?" The sound of Rae's mother's shrill voice caused her to flinch.

Abigail Shepard had a temper that could scare a hardened marine. When she was mad it was best to vacate the premises and wait it out somewhere safe. If Rae wasn't handcuffed to the chair she'd have run very far away. Trying not to wince in pain, Rae picked up her head and faced her mother. The older woman stopped five feet away and sighed. The left side of her daughter's face was bruised, her lips bloodied, and her right hand covered in a cast. Abigail had grown use to seeing her daughter roughed up. The girl had four older brothers that insisted on treating the eight year old as a punching bag. But seeing the girl chained to the hospital chair was a new dilemma.

Taking the last couple steps, Abigail swept Raegan's fiery locks from her face and tsked at the state her daughter was in. "Another fight? You're only eight Raegan; you should be playing with dolls and talking to your imaginary friend."

"But mom those boys were picking…"

"Not another word! How many times have your father and I told you to find an adult?" Abigail pursed her lips. "Damn your brothers, I told them not to take you to their boxing lessons."

Rae tried to smile but quickly stopped at the look her mother gave her. She enjoyed following them to the gym, watching them win fight after fight. Her father called it the Shepard fire, the determination to be the victor in everything no matter the cost.

"I'm sorry momma," Rae whispered and ducked her head.

"We'll see how sorry you are when we get home."

A police officer cleared his throat, drawing Abigail's attention. "On that note," he pulled out a key and unlocked Raegan from the chair. "Your daughter is free to go. We spoke with some witnesses and she was defending herself. Ma'am, if I may, I'd be proud of your girl. According to reports she stepped in to help a little girl from being jumped."

Abigail sighed and thanked the man before grabbing Raegan by the arm and escorting her out of the room.

\------

"Six boys Ayden, six!"

Rae could hear her parents arguing in the dining room. They had thought she, along with her brothers, was asleep. Instead she had snuck out and sat on the landing, hugging the railing. The pain in her hand had caused her to leave her room in search of help. However, after hearing her parents' raised voices, she decided it wasn't best to remind them of her escapades. She admits, now in hindsight, that fighting those boys wasn't her best. But she had her mother's temper and her father's fire, a volatile mixture. Rae found that she had an uncontrollable urge to protect the weak and was blind to her own safety.

"Daring it's normal to want to protect others," Ayden tried to cajole his wife only to receive one of her glares. Swallowing he reached out and patted her hand. "We'll talk to her again, but maybe we should enroll her in a class. Boxing, martial arts?"

That only infuriated Abigail even more. In her opinion it was such things that got Raegan in trouble in the first place. Her daughter should be wearing skirts, taking ballet, and practicing her table manners not wearing torn jeans, dirty, and getting in fights. When she was a girl she never would have even thought of allowing her clothes to get dusty, let alone bloody with another's blood.

Abigail pursed her lips and shook her head. "What good will that do! It will only give her more confidence! Not keep her out of fights. Maybe we need to send her to refinishing school. It's what my parents did."

That sent Rae's heart racing. She didn't want to leave Mindoir or her family. Ayden, her eldest brother, was already leaving next year on a boxing scholarship. She didn't want to lose the rest of her family.

"No it will teach her discipline. Abbey, let me try my way just once. I promise if she gets into another fight we'll take her out of everything." Rae's father begged not wanting to lose his baby girl.

Rae gripped the railing tight, waiting for her mother's reply. She vowed to never get in a fight again, to be the good daughter her mother wanted, as long as she could stay at home.

"Fine Shepard, we'll try it your way." Abigail relented and Rae let out a pent up breath.

\--------

Rae's emerald eyes shone as she greeted her new coach. Coach Charles also taught her bothers boxing but she'd never officially met the man. Her mother had wanted her kept away from boxing but her father had bought her this chance. She wasn't going to blow it.

"Welcome to class Raegan Shepard. Have a seat with the other student's while I speak with your father."

Rae nodded and rushed over to the other kids, trying to hold her excitement in. She'd been begging for these lessons since Galvin started his two years ago. Her parents had come up with reason after reason until now. If she knew that getting arrested would have done the trick she'd have done it sooner.

"Hi, I'm Raegan Shepard," she greeted the first student, left hand extended. "But you can call me Rae."

"Hey Rae, I'm Bodie." The boy grinned and took her hand.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm editing and transferring this from my old ffnet account. Going to do a chapter a day until it get's caught up.   
> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos, and everything else.  
> It really does feed my soul.

“Here Shepard, come on harder! Again, again. Faster this time. Keep your hands up!"

Coach Charles reached across and swatted the girl on the side of her head. It never was hard enough to do anything, only a friendly reminder to watch her hands. She'd had a few concussions because she hadn't kept her hands up. It tended to happen when Rae was concentrating too hard on her opponent and forgot herself.

"Yes coach," Rae replied around her mouth guard and threw another one two into the bag.

 She moved side to side and did it again, enjoying the work out. It had been five years since she started and the only fights she'd been in were gym sanctioned. Rae had grown more than a few inches since then and the constant practice had kept her fit. There was still a fire in her emerald eyes, but it had a purpose now. Get a scholarship like her older brothers and get off the planet. She loved Mindoir but as she got older she found she wanted more. Ayden, the eldest, was in the championships on earth, heading for galactic champion. Brandon, the second eldest, had enlisted when he turned eighteen and was stationed on a star ship. Tryon, the third child, was only seventeen but planed on going to college to study agriculture. That left only Galvin and herself, Rae wasn't going to be the only Shepard sibling to stay behind. Her grades weren't the best and the only thing she was good at was fighting. That meant her only option was to follow in Ayden's footsteps.

"Concentrate Shepard!" Coach demanded, reaching around the bag and swatting the side of her head again.

"Sorry," Rae smiled before stepping away from the bag. She pulled her mouth piece out, "I guess my head isn't in it today."

Charles nodded and let the bag go. "Go shower Shepard; you're no good to me like this."

\-----------

"Rae, wait up!" Rae hitched her bag up higher and turned to spot Bodie emerging from the gym. They'd been two peas in the pod since they met. Where one was the other was surely to follow. At first it was innocent, a friendship to last life times. But as Rae grew older she found herself wanting to impress the boy.

"Coach let you out early as well?" Rae asked as he caught up with her.

"Said something about keeping an eye on you," He grinned before shrugging. Everyone knew he was the good one of the two. Yes, Rae had kept out of fights but that didn't mean she kept out of trouble all together. Bodie had been dragged along most of the time but he also kept her out of the worst of it, being the voice of reason.

"Hey wanna catch a movie or head to the arcade? The old man got this game called Mario from way back when. Graphics are horrible but it’s an interesting game."

"Sounds like fun, I'll race yeah."

The arcade was twenty minutes away, the long easy way. Rae was never one to take the easy way. Before he could answer, Rae took off. She laughed as she jumped over a fence and ran across someone's yard. Bodie cursed but followed behind her knowing to do any different was to show weakness. The good thing about living in the same place for years is that you knew all the short cuts. You knew what doors lead to where and when the Johnsons let their dog out. Jumping the next fence, Rae took a hard left and headed for the alley way between two houses. She jumped against the wall, hit the opposite wall, then jumped back to grab the roof of the house. Hauling herself up, she didn't pause before rushing across the roof. Her tennis crunched against the shingles as she leapt roof to roof until she reached the end of the road. Dropping down she grabbed the clothes line the Darrells used and swung before hitting the ground. She didn't pause or look back to check on Bodie, knowing he'd be on her tail. She taught him this skill not long after meeting him. He wasn't as bold as she was, but he could get around just as fast.

Five minutes later Rae rolled off a car's hood and stopped just inside the arcade. She was slightly out of breath but had beaten her personal best time. Grinning she turned and watched Bodie drop from the eight foot wall besides the shop and roll to absorb the drop.

"I win," Rae bragged and went over to offer him a hand up.

Bodie rolled his eyes before getting to his feet. "I still don't get how you can leap from roof to roof."

"Tyron always said free running was one part skill, one part brave, and two parts stupid." That rewarded her a soft punch in the arm as the two walked into the arcade.

\---------------

Her mother was yelling at her, again. It came as no surprise to Rae or anyone in the family. She could hear her siblings in the other room cheering at a game on the television. She wished she could join them but first she had to endure her weekly lecture. Try as she might, Rae couldn't make her mother happy. Truthfully she stopped long ago. All she could do was apologize again and again but it never made a difference. Her mother wanted a girl to dote on, one that would go shopping with her and enjoy wearing makeup. Rae wasn't going to be that girl.

"Mrs. Darrel saw you swinging from her clothes line Raegan. Her clothes line! What was going through your head?" Abigail yelled, pacing the kitchen. "Then you come home late for dinner, jeans ripped, your arm bleeding, and bruised shins. What were you doing?"

After the arcade Raegan had headed home, fully intent on being home before her mother, washed, and presentable for dinner. However she came across the Leander twins on their bikes doing jumps on a new ramp their father had built them. Rae just had to try it. After a few tries she had it figured out but it got late before they knew it and her last jump had gone wrong. She didn't have enough speed and hit the wrong side of the ramp. She'd been lucky to get away with a just a few scrapes and bruises, if she had broken another bone.

"Are you listening to me!"

Rae pulled herself from her thoughts and hung her head. "Sorry mama, I lost track of time."

"Maybe you wouldn't if you wore the watch I bought you." Abigail sighed and grabbed the plate from the microwave. "I should let you starve you ungrateful brat." Setting the plate in front of her child, Abigail ran her hand through her daughter’s chopped locks. "Eat up child, and then get your school work done."

\------------

Rae groaned and slumped against her locker, sliding to the ground. Her fingers dug into her temple trying to rub the headache away that had formed there. She hated school. No matter how hard she worked at it she couldn't seem to get the grades she wanted. They always seemed just out of her grasp, as if she was cursed or something.

Bodie dropped down beside her and held out a bottle of water and head ache solution. Rae just about whimpered in praise as she took it from him.

 "Math test didn't go well?" Bodie chuckled as she groaned again. "At least you'll be able to enjoy your birthday before the score gets out. Though I'm surprised you came today, you usually skip on this special day."

Rae finished the water before she replied, crushing the empty bottle and tossing it in the recycler. "Mom drove me to school. I'd rather come then risk suspension, again."

She raised her head and looked at him, smiling at the laughter in his eyes. "You still coming over tonight?"

Rae had a plan, a plan that would either ruin their relationship or move it forward. She hoped it was the latter and she wasn't about to do something really really stupid.

"Of course, its tradition isn't it? Dinner at your place, then a late game of man hunt." Bodie stood then proceeded to open his locker. Rae stayed where she was and watched him trade his books out for his gym bag.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos, and everything else.  
> It really does feed my soul.

"Happy birthday dear Raegan, happy birthday to you!" The chorus ended as Raegan blew out the fourteen candles that circled the small cake. It was decorated with simple greens and yellows, Raegan's favorite colors. Her name was scrolled along the top as well as the number fourteen. It was the same cake she'd gotten since she was five and expressed her dislike for all things pink.

Her family cheered as her mother sliced the cake and handed out the slices. Ayden came over and hooked his arm around her neck. Grinning he locked her in a hold and rubbed his knuckles against her skull as she squirmed. "My baby sister is getting old," he joked. "Next thing we know we'll have to beat the boys back with a bat."

Tyron laughed, "This is Raegan you're talking about Ayden. I mean look at her!"

Rae was wearing old army camouflage pants that were tucked into black boots, a black tank, and a black ball cap that covered her fiery hair. Emerald eyes shone bright as she fought against Ayden's grip trying to get at her other brother. Tyron and Glavin laughed while Ayden struggled to keep hold.

"I think Tryon's right brother. Besides, Rae can hold her own against any unwanted advances." Galvin grabbed some cake and moved closer.

"Oh calm down sister," he grinned and pulled back his hand. "And have some cake!"

He had smeared the cake all over her face as her brothers and father laughed. Rae finally pulled loose after throwing a punch or two into Ayden's gut. He was doubled over in pain and laughter as she danced back and put her hands up. Icing dropped from her face, which only caused another bout of laughter all around.

"Oh yeah, real funny." Rae glared at each of them as she reached for a towel to clean her face.

"Here Rae," Bodie pulled the cloth from her fingers and began to clean her face. Rae sputtered for a moment before her entire face flushed. No, she couldn't have the cute blush that colored her cheeks. Instead her entire face, neck, and ears turned a bright red making her resemble a ripe tomato. This had only caused more teasing from her bothers which made the flush worse.

"I…. I'll be right back." Rae fled the scene, running for the rest room. Could the day get any worse? Things had looked up for a brief moment when she got home. Ayden had come home a week early for her birthday and she had missed him terribly, until now. At least her other brother, Brandon, wasn't here. He was always the worst when it came to the teasing.

\------------------------

Rae crouched low against the side of the shed, her rifle cradled lightly in her hands. She peaked around the corner quickly only to find no one was around. Leaning against the building she questioned her next move. She could hunt down the other team one by one, slowly bringing down their numbers or she could assault the enemy base and rescue some of her team mates. Her hand rested on the water bottle at her hip, happy to find it was still mostly full.

The rules were simple. Twenty members on each team. Red versus blue. You got hit; you went down and was left out in the field or brought back to the enemy base for safe keeping. If a member of your team found you, either on the field or in the base, and "healed" you wounds by washing away the paint you could rejoin the fight. But each member only had one bottle of water at the beginning of the battle. You could requisition a bottle from an enemy after defeating them but you couldn't refill yours. The battlefield was the Shepard's land, all five acres of it. The game lasted as long as one member of either team was left "alive" or until the leader of either team surrendered.

A twig broke behind her and Rae spun around, finger on the trigger. She stopped at the last minute as Bodie stepped from the shadows, red scarf tied around his left leg to show his allegiance. Rae had her scarf tied around her hips like a belt.

"Any news?" He whispered as he leaned against the wall beside her.

"No," Rae shook her head before peeking around the corner again. "I got a few blues but left them where they fell. I haven't seen any of our team for twenty minutes or so."

"Same. Do you think they were all caught?"

Rae pursed her lips as she ran through her team’s roster. Galvin was too good a soldier and probably holed up somewhere painting people as they walked past. The Magee brothers wouldn't go down without a fight and since nothing exploded yet, they were still out and at large. Little Sydney was also one to watch out for. She was quiet and quick, preferring a knife over the rifle. That was four, not including them that Rae was for certain that was left uncaptured. But the others?

"I guess we could go check. You still have your water?"

Bodie grinned and showed her three water bottles that were strapped to his hip. Rae couldn't help but return the smile. "Let's go then."

The two made their way across the orchard. Ducking from tree to tree they reached the other side without incident and found the enemy's base bright and a buzz with activity. The blues had commandeered an old tree house Rae's brothers had built as kids. It was about twenty feet from the ground and had few access points. They could climb the ladder at the base of the tree, zip line in from one of the other trees, or cross a small rope bridge that was twenty feet above the fort. Little people knew of entrance and even fewer brave enough to tempt it. The bridge connected about thirty feet back to a tree that was difficult to climb, it was their only choice.

"Hey guys whatcha doing?" Sydney asked, causing both Bodie and Rae to jump out of their skins. The small girl had snuck up on them without either of them noticing.

"God damn it Syd," Rae cursed and she scanned the area. "How long have you been there?"

"Since the shed," Sydney chuckled and twirled her paint knife in her hand.

"Of course," Bodie grumbled. "Want to help take the base?"

Sydney nodded, causing her blonde pig tails to bounce.

"Okay this is how we're going to do this." Rae grabbed a stick and drew a rough diagram in the ground.

\----------

"Have I told you how much I hate this bridge?" Bodie cursed as he slowly made his way across.

Rae chuckled in front of him and turned back to give him a friendly smile. They were almost across but Bodie was concentrating too hard on his footing to notice the difference. His knuckles were white as he gripped the guide lines. They were safe as her parents insisted on holsters being installed and used at all times, but that was little assurance to the boy. He grumbled and cursed until their boots hit the small wood landing on the other side. Now all they needed to do was climb twenty feet down the tree then drop through the trap door in the roof into the middle of the fort.

"You made it just fine. Now quiet until we're inside."

Rae rechecked her shoulder strap, making sure her rifle hadn't come loose, before starting down the ladder. Bodie glared at her momentarily before following behind her. They slowly stepped onto the roof, trying not to alert the occupants inside. Grabbing a penlight from her pocket, Rae turned it on and off twice quickly to signal Sydney. When she received the same, Rae pulled the trap door open and turned to Bodie. A few quick hand signals later, the two dropped into the room and quickly shot the two guards before they could sound the alarm.

Rae could faintly hear the zip line outside as Sydney raced toward the fort, providing the distraction they needed outside. She grabbed the water from the guards and started to rescue the thirteen people sitting inside.

Once everyone was rescued, Rae whistled to grab their attention. "Bodie and I are going out first and will clear the way. You guys follow behind up. We're going to the one zip line that leads out of here. Use your rifles, belts, scarves, whatever you have and get out of here. One will go down, count to ten, then another follow until everyone's out. Scatter! Don't stay together."

\-----

It was about two in the morning when the gong sounded, announcing the end of the game. Everyone returned back to the Shepard's house to find that the blue team had lost when Galvin had hit Ayden in the chest. The red team cheered, congratulations were made, and the jokes started. Siblings and friends laughed as they headed home, plans for a rematch being made for when finals were done in two months. Soon it was only Rae and Bodie left outside as her brothers and parents had retired inside. They sat on the porch chuckling softly as they recounted the night.

"Larry's face when you turned that corner and shot him right in the chest was hilarious!" Bodie chuckled and reenacted Larry's reaction.

Rae smiled, "It was a great night. There's only one thing that can make it better."

Bodie raised a brow, "And what is that?"

This is what she'd been waiting for all day. Gathering her courage, she leaned in and kissed him hard on the lips. Bodie had grown stiff and Rae pulled back unsure. Convinced she jumped from the porch, muttered an apology, and ran away. She only got a few steps when Bodie caught up for her and grabbed her wrist. Pulling her to him and kissed her back.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos, and everything else.  
> It really does feed my soul.

Her brother was coming home for a week while his ship was in port. The ship needed repairs and Mindoir had the closest port large enough to support the frigate. Brandon, being nonessential crew, was allowed to disembark during the repairs so he could visit his family. Rae was so excited to see her brother that she skipped school, dragging Bodie along, and stood now in the shipping yard. People moved around them, not noticing the two teenagers that kept their eyes on the sky.

"Rae you should get off that ankle," Bodie cautioned and pulled her toward a bench. She had fractured it a few days before when she stepped into a gopher hole in the orchard. She now wore a walking boot with strict instructions to stay off it when possible.

Rae took her eyes off the clouds long enough to turn and smile at Bodie. Lifting his hand up, she brushed his knuckles with her lips. "I'm off it, most of my weights on the other foot."

Bodie rolled his eyes before bending down and grabbing her around the waist. Throwing her over his shoulders, he laughed at her protests and carried her over to the bench where he dropped her.

"Stay," he ordered her, eyes sparkling with delight as she proceeded to cross her arms and pout.

"I'm not talking to you," Rae pursed her lips. This only caused Bodie to smile wider.

He leaned over and grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. "I only do this because I care."

Rae knew that, deep down she did, but she hated being babied and cared for. When he moved in to kiss her, she grinned and licked his nose. The look on his face broke her mask as she laughed at his reaction. "Oh god… that was great."

Before he could retaliate all hell broke loose. The ship yard was suddenly filled with alarms and people yelling and running away. It was several minutes before Bodie could grab someone, "What's going on?"

"You need to run boy. She's coming in too hot and won't slow down in time." The man tore from Bodie's grip and continued on his way.

Rae's eyes widened and turned back to the sky. She could just make out a form in the sky and could see the burning ship heading right for them. Her heart clinched as she thought of her brother on board. Before she could react Bodie hauled her up, threw her over his shoulder, and ran. They didn't get very far before the impact caused the ground to shake. The shockwave knocked the two to the ground and assaulted them with various debris. Rae felt something strike the back of her head before everything went dark.

\---------------------

Pain laced her body as she slowly gained conscience. Everything was muffled but a loud ring in both ears. Rae sat up slowly only to be rewarded by a pounding headache and her stomach rolling. She got to her hands and knees just in time to empty her stomach. Rae knew the symptoms like an old friend. The kind you always hated but never had the heart to tell them. She'd deal with the concussion later, right now she needed to get up and find Bodie.

Rae found him a few feet away, still unconscious, and crawled over to him. His chest was moving at regular intervals and she found a strong and steady pulse. "Bodie… Bodie wake up."

She shook him gently, not knowing what injuries he may have sustained. He woke slowly, blinking a few times. When he tried to move he hissed in pain and hugged his chest, broken ribs. "Stay here," Rae instructed and got to her feet, ignoring the throbbing in her head.

"No, Rae you stay here!"

"I can't. Brandon's in there somewhere." She left before he could say more, forgetting her ankle fracture and heading back for the wreckage.

People were everywhere, screaming, crying, and groaning. Some were helping others get clear of the ship while others were administering first aid. Rae rushed through, eyes frantically searching for her brother. He'd be easy enough to spot with his red hair and large frame, having taken after their father. She stopped and helped where she could but never stayed long. The closer she got to the wreckage the hotter it got. Most were avoiding the metal beast that lay burning against the dock, but her brother wasn't outside.

Rae climbed into a hole that was rent into the hull and slowly made her way through. Every time she came across someone she would stop and check for a pulse. So far she had found no survivors. Each time her heart would stop until she realized it wasn't Brandon lying in the pool of blood. Then she would sigh in relief and allow hope to flood her body again.

She was deep in the ship when she encountered her first survivor. It was a woman whose leg was bent the wrong way and half her face and arms covered in burns. "Can you stand?"

The woman cried harder as she shook her head. Pursing her lips, Rae looked around until she found a piece of sheeting that had torn loose from the wall. She yanked wires loose and tied them through holes in the piece of metal, making a make sift sled. Rae helped the woman on it before making the slow journey out. Rae gritted her teeth against the pain and pushed herself to work harder. She lost track of time and didn't stop until she blinked at the sun light that assaulted her eyes. Rescue had arrived and took the woman from her. The paramedics tried to take her too but Rae danced out of their grips and ran back into the ship.

Rae made five more trips into the ship, five more trips out pulling the sled, and five more escapes from the officials that waited for her each time. She could feel her energy waxing and knew that this was her last trip. Any more attempts would result in her being trapped inside. Besides there was only one last place to search, engineering.

"Brandon!" Rae called out as she ducked under a beam that blocked the way. The door ahead was malfunctioning, opening and closing continuously. Rae watched it for a few seconds and timed her jump through the doors. They closed right behind her, catching the back of her shirt and ripping it.

"Brandon!"

"Down here!" Rae looked down to see two figures below here. One was her brother and the other a man she didn't know. "We need help!"

She ran to the edge of the decking and dropped down, forgoing the ladder. It wasn't until she got closer that she noticed the blood and piece of metal protruding from her brother's chest. She wanted to cry, scream, close her eyes and wish this was all a dream. But the blood was stark red against the blue of her brother's uniform. He smiled at her before he coughed up some blood.

"Mom's going to be pissed if she finds out you're here Rae," he whispered and cupped her cheek.

Rae couldn't help but laugh and she knelt beside her brother. Tears already streaked her cheeks, making clean lines through the blood and dirt that coated her skin. Her bother turned to the man, "Lieutenant, I need you to do me a favor."

"Anything Shepard," the man replied, his hands pressing harder around the wound. "After we get you out of here."

Brandon shook his head. "With all due respect sir, the core's going to blow any second. I need you to get my sister out of here."

The man looked her brother in the eyes before nodding and sitting back, releasing the pressure that was keeping Brandon alive.

"No," Rae yelled and took up the job. She pulled away from the hands trying to pick her up. She screamed at him to leave her alone, screamed at her brother to fight. She begged whatever deity was listening as she watched her brother drown in his own blood. When he gave his last breath, she finally gave in and allowed the man to lift her up.

Rae was in shock when they emerged from the ship. She didn't fight as the paramedics took her or when they cut her clothes away and began to treat her various wounds. At the Lieutenants direction everyone had cleared away from the wreckage. It was later on that night, when Rae was tucked into her hospital bed when the core finally gave in. It blew and coated the small colony in element zero, forever changing the colony.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the sadness in the last chapter, but it needed to be done. No really, it did. Shepard was exposed to eezo twice in her life. Once when she was still in the womb and again when she was fourteen. See, it needed to be done
> 
> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos, and everything else.  
> It really does feed my soul.

Rae came too slowly. The first thing she noticed was the strong scent of clean, as if someone had just finished disinfecting everyone down for the tenth time that hour. The scent was a kin to coming home, the amount of time she'd been in the hospital. The second thing she realized was that she was strapped to the bed with wide heavy straps. Opening her eyes, Rae tried in vain to examine the straps as one was securely over her forehead. Frowning, Rae pulled against her restraints and tried to get free. She opened her mouth to yell for help only to have the words come our hoarsely and barely over a whisper.

Panic had begun to set in when a nurse came into view and placed a hand on her forehead. "Shhh, child. It's okay."

Raegan went very still and waited for the woman to unstrapped her from the bed. She sat up slowly and finally got a good look at her body. She was littered in scratches and bruises, including dark black ones that circled her wrists and ankles. Her leg, previously in a walking boot, was now wrapped tightly in a bandage.

"What happened?" she asked then tried to clear her throat.

The woman handed her a glass of water and placed some pillows behind her back so she could sit comfortably. "Don't stress your throat too much. You had some smoke inhalation that scorched the inside of you esophagus. Do you remember going inside the ship?"

When Rae nodded, the woman gave her a faint smile. "Very brave thing dear, very brave indeed. Very foolish was well, but mother always said brave and foolish often walked the same line. In your act of rash bravery you broke your ankle again, obviously the adrenaline kept you from feeling the pain. We had to put you under and do surgery to fix you. Newest of tech went into you, courtesy of the Alliance. They are very grateful and pay their debts well."

She put a thermometer in Rae's mouth while proceeding to take her blood pressure. "You'll be on your feet in no time dear. You had a concussion as well, but medigel took care of that quickly enough. We decided to allow your bruises to heal themselves and your throat will be much better by the end of the day. Just try not to over tax yourself and, if you're lucky, the doctor might release you today."

"How long have I been here?" Rae asked when the nurse took the thermometer from her mouth.

"Three days," the nurse answered as she tucked the sheets around her. "Now if you're feeling up to it, you have guests wanting to see you.

Bodie entered the room, moving slowly with his left arm in a sling. There was a thin cut on his lip, mostly healed by now. He reached her bed side and took her hand with his own, giving it a squeeze as he smiled at her. "You gave me a scare."

Rae reached up with her hand and brushed his lip with her thumb as she cupped his cheek. She stayed there for several seconds before dropping her hand and hanging her head. "I… I just had to try."

"Hey now," Bodie squeezed her hand again until she turned to look at him. "You did great Rae, more than anyone could ask for. You saved lives and Brandon wasn't your fault. It was the Batarians, they shot at your brother's ship, they caused the drive to malfunction, they caused it to crash. Not you."

"I know but…"

"No buts Raegan. I want to hear you say it. Who is at fault for your brother's death?"

"The Batarians." Rae answered. Bodie nodded and leaned in, planting a soft kiss to her lips.

\-------------

Her day had been filled with numerous guests coming to wish her well or thank her for her bravery. Each marine had come in to shake her hand, thanking Raegan repeatedly for saving their lives. Each had sworn a debt to be repaid but the only thing Rae wanted none of them could supply. She'd accepted their thanks with a ghost of a smile and told them over and over it was the least she could do. People from the colony had come in bearing gifts and flowers, giving their apologies at her loss. Rae had grown tired and asked the nurse to not allow anyone else into the room. She couldn't stand another grim smile or tear shed for her.

The doctor had stopped by but declared that more test needed run. Because her mother had been exposed to element zero when she was in the womb, the doctor wanted to run a few more test. There had been a brief moment of a blue glow when they brought her from surgery, hence the restraints. But nothing had manifested since.

A knock at the door had drawn Rae from her thoughts. "Your family is here dear. They want to see you."

Rae considered turning them away, unsure if she could face them just yet. Despite what Bodie had said, Rae still felt guilty for Brandon's death. If she had been faster, maybe could have had time to drag him to safety. But to deny them would be the coward's way. She'd have to face them sooner or later. "Let them in please."

Her brothers came in first. They rushed to her side and gave her hugs and the occasionally shove. She could see the pain in their eyes though, the loss still fresh on their minds. Her father came in next, a ghost of a man. He didn't look at her, only floated to a corner and proceeded to stare at his hands. Losing his son had broken the once large and proud man. Abigail was the last to enter and the most emotional. Unlike the others, the woman didn't appear hurt at the death of her son. Instead, she seemed angry at the entire situation.

Abigail soared to her side and proceeded to glare at her daughter. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"Mother…" Ayden cautioned only to be hushed by the older woman.

"Well? No excuses this time? No apologies? Look at what you did to this family. You've torn us apart." Rae flinched at the words. "Why Raegan?"

"I tried…"

"Not hard enough!" Abigail screamed and reached out. She grabbed her daughter's chin and forced her to look at her. "Your selfishness killed your brother. Not once did you think about what your actions would do to this family."

Raegan could feel her temper rising to the call. She clinched her fists, trying to calm herself. "My selfishness? All I could think of was Brandon and how I had to save him!"

At her brother's name, her father wailed in grief and collapsed. This only fueled the anger in her mother's eyes even more. "Then why did you stop to help the others? If you had left them and continued on, you'd have found him faster. Why did you stop Raegan?"

"BECAUSE I'M NOT A RUTHLESS BITCH LIKE YOU!" Rae yelled and threw her arms at her mother. But it wasn't her limbs that made contact. Instead a blue energy had pulsed and threw her mother across the room and everyone else to the ground.

Silence filled the room for a few blessed seconds as everyone processed what just happened. Rae was breathing heavily as she watched her mother slowly get up from the floor. Abigail's eyes no longer held hatred. They now held a mixture of fear and disgust and it broke everything in Rae to see it. She looked around at her family and could see a variance in their eyes as well.

Everyone got to their feet slowly and Ayden helped their father to his. With heads down they left the room, one by one, afraid to risk wrath from either woman. It was only Rae and Abigail left when Rae closed her eyes and lay back in bed.

"Brandon's funeral is tomorrow," Abigail spoke softly before leaving.

Rae felt like screaming at the top of her lungs. She felt like breaking something and there was only one place to do that. She sat up and proceeded to pull the numerous chords from her body. Locking her room door, Rae went to the window and made a break for it.

\------------

Rae always kept an outfit in her locker, uncertain when she would need one. The gym was always open, ready for anyone that needed to use it. Everyone in Mindoir trusted one another and locked doors were considered an insult in most areas. Ignoring the pain that shot through her ankle occasionally, Rae proceeded to dance around the punching bag. She could feel her fingers begin to bruise as she hadn't bothered with the gloves. Left, right, move. Left, right, move. It became a rhythm as she beat her frustrations into the bag.

She replayed recent events over and over in her head, trying to find what went wrong. Maybe her mother had been right; maybe she had gone wrong that day on the ship. If she'd been a little more ruthless could she had made it to her brother in time? Could she have left those men and women behind while she searched for Brandon? Maybe her family wouldn't be broken. Maybe they wouldn't be afraid of her. But what about the other marines' family? Could she had faced them, knowing she had left those people behind?

Question after question assaulted her as she assaulted the bag. Crying out in anguished she punched the bag one last time before she hugged it tightly and cried.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos, and everything else.  
> It really does feed my soul.

She wasn't going back to the hospital. They'd only want to run test that was useless anyways. She was a biotic now; there was no denying it after her little display. Rae decided to ignore her new abilities. It was a problem for another day. For now she was dressed in her best slacks and top, watching the men that put her brother into the ground. Not wanting to cause anything, Rae had stood atop the hill and watched the funeral at a distance. Most of the colony was at attendance. Brandon had been a well like young man that made it his point to help others. He once told Rae that serving in the alliance was his way of helping everyone at once. He had planned on returning home one day. Take over the family business and run the farm so his parent's could retire. But while he was young, he wanted to help the galaxy. Brandon had given his life to helping other people.

Rae whipped a tear away and turned to leave, intending to go home and pack some clothes before her family had returned. She'd leave them to their peace and find somewhere else to stay. She only had four years until she was eighteen. Then she'd leave the planet and find work somewhere, anywhere but here.

"Raegan Shepard right?" Rae looked up to find the lieutenant from the ship in his dress blues walking towards her.

"You could say that," Rae answered and shook the man's hand. "I never caught your name though."

"Lieutenant Anderson, David Anderson. I wasn't able to catch you at the hospital, needed to file paper work and help with the clean up. I wanted to give you my sincerest apologies for your loss."

"Thank you Lieutenant, but I must be going." Rae tried to move past him, but he only stepped in front of her.

"I only need but a moment of your time Raegan." Anderson waited until she nodded before continuing. "The brass was asking questions, wondering how so many of ours made it off alive. I told them about you and they want to award you with a medal. Real Admiral Hackett is on his way to pin it on you himself."

Rae flinched at the news. "I don't deserve it sir. I was just doing it because I couldn't do anything else."

"That's exactly why they want to give it to you child. You're exactly what this galaxy needs right now. A hero that does it because she couldn't do anything else. Please just consider it."

Rae sighed and gave a brief nod, "I'll think about it."

\------

"Rae, you in here?" Bodie's voice echoed through the empty house.

Raegan was in her room, quickly throwing a duffel bag together. She arrived only a few minutes ago and knew it was a matter of time before her family arrived. Bodie's voice had drifted into her room just as her fingers had ghosted over a photo of the two of them.

It had been taken by her brother without either of their knowledge. Bodie was sitting on the top step of the porch and she once step down. She was sitting between his legs, leaning against his chest, while he had his chin on her shoulders. They were both smiling as their fingers were locked on Bodie's knee. Tyron had taken the snap shot as he snuck out the side door and crept around the side. A copy had been sent to Brandon as proof of what their baby sister had been up to while he was absent.

Rae gasped softly and snatched the picture up, tossing it into the bag with her stuff. She zipped the bag closed and stepped out her door as Bodie reached the top of the stairs. Rae placed her finger on her lips before crossing the hallway to Brandon's room. She hesitated for only a moment before opening the door and stepping inside.

The room was pristine, cleaned by her mother a few days ago in preparation for her brother's arrival. Rae knew exactly what she wanted and headed right for it. Pulling open her brother's closet, she dug all the way to the back and pulled out an old black hoodie that hid in the back. It was torn, worn, and stained but it was his. Throwing it on, she retreated back out to the hall, closing the door behind her.

"Come on," Rae grabbed Bodie's hand and pulled him out of the house and away from its memories.

\------------

They ended up in the back of the gym where Coach had allowed her to set up a cot. She had explained to him what happened and after some arguing agreed to let her bunk there. It was a small room, just big enough for a cot and small desk, for school work as Coach had put it. Rae threw her bag onto the desk and dropped onto the cot.

"You weren't at the funeral, I was worried." Bodie sat down beside her and combed his fingers through her hair.

Rae closed her eyes and for a second could believe that nothing had changed. It was brief but it was delicious. "I was there, just didn't want to disturb anyone."

Bodie frowned but left it alone. There was tome for it later. He put his arm around her and pulled her close, her head falling to his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes, "I'm here when you want to talk."

"I know."

\-----

Her opponent was larger than her, standing at least a head and a half over her. His reach was longer and he wasn't stupid about it. She was faster and younger though, able to get out of situations that would ruin most of his opponents. They had danced around each other for half an hour now, both drenched in sweat but neither tiring. Rae took a step closer, testing his reaction, and then quickly ducked his punch. She was able to throw two quick ones into his gut before retreating. He stepped forward and swung, she ducked once again but wasn't close enough to return the favor.

The crowd was thick, the gym filled with spectators and betters, all screaming and yelling for their chosen side. Rae could hear their cries for action as the two experimented, trying to find a chink in the other's armor. It had been awhile since she had such an adversary and she enjoyed the challenge.

"Soldier what's going on here?" An authoritative voiced yelled over the crowd, causing a hush to fill the gym.

The man across from her turned from her, arms dropping. Spotting her chance, Rae rushed in and assaulted him. He didn't recover fast enough. She threw three to his head and one to his shoulders when his hands went back up. By then she was to close for him to retaliate. Rae grinned and put one in his gut, causing him to lose his breath. He instinctually grabbed his stomach, leaving him open for her three combo killer. He hit the mat and the official started the count. The crowd cheered and groaned appropriately as Rae was declared the winner.

Fight over, Rae climbed down from the mat as medical went in to tend to the man. She sat on her stool and proceeded to empty her water bottle. The man from older circled around the matt and approached her. It was then that she spotted the uniform and Anderson tagging behind him. This man was obviously the Rear Admiral that the Lieutenant mentioned a few days ago. The man makes quick time.

"You must be Raegan Shepard," the older man held out his hand. "Rear Admiral Steven Hackett."

Rae took his hand as she stood and tossed the bottle into the recycler. "Pleasure to meet you Sir. Now if you don't mind, I need to hit the shower and get to work on some school work."

Hackett grinned and released her hand. "Just a moment of your time is all I need. How old are you Raegan?"

"Fourteen sir."

"And yet you took on a man twice your age and knocked him out."

Raegan shrugged, "Yes sir I did."

"Why?"

"Because he came into my gym and criticized our fighters. Said that anyone that trained here wasn't half the fighters that were trained at his gym." Raegan grinned, "Sir, nobody comes into my home and slanders my friends."

As she turned and left, Hackett chuckled softly. Anderson grinned and looked at his friend and officer. "She fought him because he slandered her friends, not herself."

"This is why I mentioned her to you sir," Anderson replied. "She's everything humanity needs."

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos, and everything else.  
> It really does feed my soul.

Rae looked at herself in the mirror and frowned. She never did like wearing a skirts or dresses. They restricted her movement and demanded her attention. She preferred to go in slacks but Coached had insisted that the ceremony demanded formal wear. Most of the colony as well as several military officials was in attendance. She still couldn't believe she agreed to receive the award. But Coach had talked her into it, saying that sometimes you had to let other's celebrate your achievements.

"Come in," Rae called and turned from the mirror as there was a knock on the door. Bodie entered his coat over his arm and tie in his hand. She greeted him with a soft kiss. "You look great." She straightened his collar and took the tie from him. Rae knotted it and pulled it tight before laying it flat at his throat.

"Thanks," Bodie replied both for the compliment and the tie. "You look horrible though, never looked right in a dress."

His laugh turned to a grunt of pain as she punched him in the side. His ribs were still tender but it got a smile out of her.

"That's better. I've missed your smile. Now let me look at you."

He stepped back and got a good look at her dress. Coach had picked and bought it for her, otherwise Rae would have worn slacks and a nice top. Her shoulders were bare as the sleeved only covered her upper arm. The neckline stopped just at her collar bone. It was an emerald material with black lace overlay in the shape of vines. The dress fell to just above her ankle where thin black slippers graced her feet. Her hair had been braided into a simple French braid with a black ribbon woven through. She wore simple silver earrings balls studs and black elbow length gloves to complete the ensemble. Bodie only had one word for it, "Beautiful."

Rae ducked her head, trying hard not to blush. "Don't get use to it. I hate dresses."

Bodie pulled his jacket on then held out his arm, "Milady, I am here to escort you to our venue. If you are ready?"

She chuckled softly and took the offered arm. "Thank you my good Sir."

\-------

Rae tried her hardest not to shift nervously in her chair. Her eyes were glued on the podium at the front of the stage as Lieutenant Anderson told her story and how she earned the award. He had the ability to move the crowd and had everyone in applause as she stood. Hackett meet her at the podium. As he pinned the medal to her dress, he spoke into the microphone. "Raegan Cyrene Shepard, for you actions aboard the SSV Gravely, we, the Systems Alliance, present you with the Medal of Valor."

Stepping back, Hackett raised his hand in salute. Rae could hear several chairs scrap across the floor. She turned to find that every soldier she saved and their friends and families had done the same. Her eyes burned with gratitude as she turned back to Hackett and raised her hand in salute.

After the ceremony there was a lengthy dinner then a ball. It was held in the colony's town hall decorated by the high school’s decoration committee. Smooth classical music filled the building while couples danced in the middle and groups gathered around the dance floor. Bodie spun her around and Rae couldn't help but smile and laugh. Her brother's death still hung heavy on her heart but she knew he wouldn't want her to mourn forever. Tonight was a night of celebration.

The song ended and Hackett tapped the young man on the shoulder. "Mind if I take the next one?"

Bodie shook his head and bowed out, retreating to the refreshment table. The next song started and Rae took the Admiral's hand.

"I wanted to speak with you Raegan." Hackett began.

"No need to thank me again Admiral. Too many people have thanked me enough to last me a life time." Rae took a deep breath and kept herself from frowning.

"I actually have a proposition for you. Do you have a plan for your future yet?"

Rae shook her head and closed her eyes briefing. Ever since she graduated from junior high school adults have asked her over and over again about her future. She could do two years of vocation training then another two of apprenticeship, quit school and find a job, or continue her schooling with four years in senior high school. Ayden had done two and two, apprenticing in boxing. Brandon and Tyron had gone to senior high, and Galvin had just finished his two years of vocation training in electronics. The only vocation that appealed to her was boxing and Rae didn't want to work a dead in job in the slums of the colony. Bodie was going to senior high.

"Either vocation or senior high, I still have another month to decide sir." Rae responded, hoping he wouldn't push further.

"What if I said I had another option for you?" Hackett asked then smiled at the questions that flooded her face.

"There's a school for special kids like you; children that have caught the eyes of the Alliance and show extreme promise. It's the fast track to officer training and an early boot for those wanting to join the Alliance. We offer specialized training, even for ones with biotics. But it won't be easy. The school is a boarding school stationed on Earth. You can come home for holidays and the summer but otherwise live on campus. It's also strict."

Rae hadn't considered joining the military before. It hadn't even been the remotest of choices before. But now? She would need time to think about it. "Can I have time to think?"

Hackett nodded, "I leave in one week, if you could give me your answer by then. There are arrangements to be made and any later would prove too late to pull it together."

"Thank you sir, I appreciate the thought."

The music ended and Hackett bowed out, "You're welcome dear, until next time."

\------

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Bodie asked.

They were sitting at the local park, discussing their future. Raegan had told him Hackett's offer and after some discussion she had decided to take the Admiral up on the deal. The only problem was leaving him behind while school was in session. She had informed Hackett a few days after the party and was now waiting on the paper work to get pushed through. The school started in a few weeks, earlier than Mindoir.

"Yes. I want to do something good with my life. I want to help others and the Alliance will allow me to do that." Raegan sighed and leaned against him, head on his shoulder. Bodie wrapped his arm around her and nodded.

"I'll miss you."

Rae smiled softly and took his hand in hers, "I'll miss you to. I'll write as often as I can."

They were silent for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's company and watching the stars above them. "Where do you see us going?" Bodie asked suddenly, scaring Rae slightly.

"I… I don't know. There's just so much changing around us and even more on the way." Rae sighed and lifted her head to look at him. "For now let's just enjoy what we have."


	8. Chapter 8

The port was still in the middle of clean up so all space traffic had been rerouted to another part of the colony. The Alliance had set up a temporary dock that allowed shuttle boarding only. The larger ships would remain in orbit while the shuttles went back and forth with the cargo. A pricey and long process but the government was footing the bill. Rae now stood at the end of the dock waiting for her turn at boarding.

"I'll write as often as I can." Rae promised Bodie again and squeezed his hand.

She was nervous about her first space flight but also excited. Mindoir was the only planet she'd ever set foot on. She'd never been farther than the edge of the colony. Now she was about to board a passenger vessel and travel to Earth and her new home.

Bodie pulled her in close and put his forehead against hers. They both closed their eyes and stood in silence. More past between the two than any words could ever express in those few minutes. "I'll see you again during your winter break. Time will go by fast and before we know it, you'll be climbing off the shuttle again and I'll be waiting for you."

Rae kissed him softly before stepping away and lifting her bag up.

\------

Rae didn't return home that winter break, nor did she go back for her summer break and the following winter break. Instead she choose to remain on earth and devote her time to her classes. Rae had found her calling at the academy, her favorite class being Military Strategy and Tactics. They had studied past battles and theorized new ones. Her final had been a grueling war against her partner that had lasted three days with herself the victor. She was third in her class overall and was close behind the other two students.

She stayed for the most of the summer again when Bodie's latest letter had called her home. He missed her terribly but was proud in her accomplishments. He wanted to see her and was saving up credits so he could buy a ticket to Earth. Then he had mentioned the gym. Coach wasn't doing well; the eezo spill had caused tumors to form in his brain. The doctors had given the man just months to live and the gym was holding a championship to raise some money for Coach and his family. Rae had filed for leave, employed the academy's shuttle, and left for Mindoir right away.

Rae hadn't told anyone she was coming as she'd have beaten the letter anyways. Her shuttle docked and Rae stepped from the shuttle. She took a moment to look around, taking in the sights. It had been two years since she last stepped foot on the colony and nothing had changed. Sure the port was new; being refitted at the crash, but it was still familiar. Her shuttle pilot stepped out behind her and pulled her back from the past. "Where do you want your bags sent Cadet Shepard?"

"One second," Rae unzipped her bag and pulled out her cover, fixing it on her head. She was still in her uniform. After two years of constant wear she felt naked in civilian clothing. "Send it to the hotel please Flight Lieutenant."

She snapped to attention and gave the man a salute before leaving. She broke into a run and used a bench as lift to get over the ten foot fence. There was only one home left for her on Mindoir and she'd be there in ten minutes flat.

\-------------

The lights were on and the gym was packed full of people. It was fight night and everyone was gathered to watch the assortment of matches going on all day. Mostly it was the gyms students that squared off and tested their merit. Once in a while a neighboring colony would come over to hold a little champion ship or the professionals would stop on their tours. Tonight it looked like a neighboring colony had shuttled over to go head to head against Mindoir's best. There were two fighters on the matt now, throwing punches at each other. Rae had elbowed her way to the matt and was surprised to find Bodie inside the ring holding his own. He had grown up these last two years and Rae found herself mesmerized as he snuck a punch through the other guy's defense and caused him to stagger back. Before she knew it, Rae found herself yelling herself hoarse as she encouraged Bodie on.

Bodie backed the kid into the corner and let the punches fly. The ref blew his whistle and sent the fighters to their corners as the round ended, saving the kid from further punishment. It was then that Rae got a better look at the fighters' conditions. Bodie's left eye was almost swollen shut and his lip was cut in a couple places. He supported his right side, testifying to a bruised rib or two. The other guy's nose was broken and a cut just above his right eye wouldn't stop bleeding. His left arm hung limply at his side and he winced as his trainer prodded the shoulder, testifying a dislocated joint. The ref had spoke to the medic before returning to the middle and signaling to both fighters. Both boys met in the middle as a mike was lowered to meet the ref's lips.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner by technical knockout." The ref grabbed both boys' arms and allowed the moment to build. "Bodie Astor!"

The room filled with cheers and groans as the ref raised Bodie's arm. Rae watched as Bodie's crew rushed the ring and celebrated, a smile spreading her lips. The Ref thanked everyone for attending and directed them to drive home safely. The fighters left the ring and headed for the showers as people began to head for the exits. Rae pushed through the crowd and headed for the locker rooms, deciding to wait in the hall.

It was almost an hour when the boy emerged from the locker, surrounded by friends and laughing. Rae stepped from the wall and pulled her hands from her pockets. "I saw the fight, very impressive Bodie."

Bodie stopped and turned slowly, not believing his ears. Upon seeing Rae his face lit up, he dropped his gym bag, and rushed to her side. One minute Rae was on her feet the next she was in the air laughing as Bodie spun her around. She lost her breath as his mouth connected with hers in a kiss that ignited something in her gut. Once the need for oxygen became apparent, Bodie pulled away and grinned. "I missed you."

Chuckling, Rae circled her arms around his neck. "I missed you too."

\----------

Mindoir had one diner that was run by Grandma Caro. She kept the door open late on fight night so the fighters could grab a bite before heading home. It was a long standing tradition on the colony that no one dared break. The two had headed there, fingers linked as they walked the streets. They grabbed a booth in the back and talked over their food. It was as if nothing had changed. He told her about the colony and she told him about the academy. It was late when they finally left the diner and then walked the streets.

"How long are you staying Rae?" Bodie finally asked when they stopped under a street light.

"A couple of weeks, I have to be back for the new semester on the first." Rae watched the disappointment distort his face and felt guilty for not coming home sooner. She reached up and cupped his cheek lightly, when he didn't look at her she pulled away and walked into the shadows. "Do you know why I couldn't come home?"

"No."

"When I left, after the excitement died down, I hurt. I never thought leaving everything behind would hurt so much. So I threw myself into my work. I studied and worked hard, clawed to the top of my class and kept my head down. Before I knew it winter break was here but it's only two short weeks. The thought of coming home, being teased, then having to leave again was too painful. I had just masked the pain, I couldn't reopen the wound. It was easier to stay at school, cowardly even."

 Rae chuckled nervously. "I did the same for every break that followed, not wanting to experience that pain again. Then I got your last letter and knew how stupid I had been. There is only one reason to suffer through the parting and that's the reunion and I was denying myself that pleasure."

She stepped back under the light and grabbed his hand, placing it over her heart. "I came home Bodie, for a couple weeks because I could spend it with you."

Bodie turned to her, eye brow raised. "What are you saying Rae?"

"Remember what you asked me two years ago? You asked where I could see us going and I didn't know the answer. I do now." Rae smiled and raised his hand, kissing his palm, "I see it right here, together forever. Give me two years Bodie, two years and I'll come home for my leave before boot. We'll make our choices then."

"Two years Raegan Shepard, then I'm hunting you down." Bodie warned before pulling her in. He placed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos, and everything else.  
> It really does feed my soul.

Rae sat with Coach as he stared at something that wasn't there. He hadn't recognized her when she visited and there was no ignoring it. The man that had once been large and proud was nothing but a shadow that couldn't even feed himself. It was hard to see him now and know what he once had been. Rae stood from her chair and gave him a hug, tears in her eyes. She owed the man so much and there was nothing she could do.

"I'm sorry Coach," Rae whispered into his ear before letting him go and leaving the room.

She wandered the streets, unsure what to do with her day. Bodie was working his summer job at the docks, saving money for his future. The only family she had left was dying in the room she had left and her blood wouldn't want anything to do with her. Just when despair was about to clench her heart she had an idea and changed course.

It took but a few minutes to reach the graveyard and a few more to locate his grave.

"Brandon Lazar Shepard. 2146-2168, Beloved Son and Brother. May his bravery live on."

Rae knelt in front of her brother's grave and traced the words with her finger. The pain of his death had dulled to a throb in her heart. It had taken months but Rae finally knew she wasn't at fault for her brother's death. Brandon would never have wanted her to blame herself. He would have wanted her to live and make something of herself.

"I am sorry Brandon." Rae spoke softly and bowed her head. "I am sorry for not coming sooner. I left the colony and joined the Alliance. I will make the Shepard name mean something. I will make it become a beacon of hope that you wanted it to be. I love you brother."

"And he loved you."

Raegan jumped and turned to find Ayden standing a few feet away. Getting to her feet, Rae nodded and backed from the stone. Ayden knelt before it and placed his hand softly on top, whispering a few words. There were a few moments of silence before he spoke out loud again. "So you've returned?"

"For a few weeks, then I go back to class."

Ayden nodded and got to his feet. "Rae…" He turned toward her and grabbed her hand. Before she could react, he pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry. Could you ever forgive me?"

Rae clenched her eyes tight and held onto her brother. She'd been craving this since she woke up in the hospital two years ago. She nodded against his chest, afraid to speak.

\------

They sat in Coach's old office, now Ayden's, speaking of old times. They laughed and cried in intervals as each story was retold. There were times that it was as if nothing had happened and others where time ached between them like an old wound. It would be a long process but the two were becoming sister and brother again.

"So you're the new coach?" Rae asked as she sipped her tea.

"The colony offered me the job when Charles got sick a couple months ago. It was time I settled down, start thinking about family." Ayden grinned as he thought about the girl from the flower shop down the street. "It won't be long before you call yourself Aunt sister."

"Getting a little hasty aren't you? Does this girl even return your feelings? Want me to go ask like you did when I was ten?" Rae laughed at her brother's expense and quickly vacated the chair as she lunged at her. "Getting slow in your old age brother."

Ayden laughed and settle back in his chair. "And what of you and Bodie? Do I need to speak with the lad?"

Rae shook her head and glanced out the window, toward the port. "Not just yet. I still have two years at the academy before any decisions can be made."

"Do you love the boy?" Ayden asked, becoming sober quickly. "He loves you dearly. Anyone with eyes could see that."

Raegan's throat tightened at Ayden's words. She suspected Bodie's feelings for a long time but to have them so bleatingly shown to her caused her heart to stop. "I know he does. But I have a duty to follow and promises to keep."

Ayden noticed that she didn't answer his question but choose not to push it for now.

\---------

Rae straightened her uniform for the tenth time and glance at the clock. Bodie was going to meet her in the lobby in five minutes. They were going to go on their first official date tonight and she was a mess of nerves. She had argued with herself for several hours whether to wear her uniform or civilian clothing, changing back and forth repeatedly. She had finally decided on her uniform because her only civilian clothing consisted on boots, jeans, and a t-shirt. Deciding that her collar wasn't going to get any straighter, Rae left her room and headed for the lobby.

She stepped out of the elevator as Bodie stepped through the front door. He was wearing a cotton button up shirt, black slacks, and black cowboy boots. They spotted each other across the lobby and both smiled. They rushed to meet each other, mouths touching. Rae's fingers went through his hair as their lips met. It was a long kiss, different from any they had shared before. Rae nipped at his lips as Bodie tasted her. They parted, out of breath and warmer from the exchange.

"Did I ever tell you that women in uniforms are hot?"

Rae chuckled and kissed him again before stepping out of his embrace. "We're going to miss our movie."

"I could think of other ways to spend our night." The comment got him a punch to the gut as she walked past him.

"Grow up Bodie."

"That's exactly what I'm doing." He grumbled and followed behind her.

\------

The movie had been a slasher flick. They had watched a master villain cut through the scores of people only to be stopped by the heroin too stupid to take off her heels. Rae never understood how the ditzy girls survived the horror running from the bad guy in four inch death traps. She had never worn heals and never planned to.

"Every one knows not to take a shower in the abandoned camp ground. It's common knowledge that the psycho is going to find you in the only running water source within fifty miles." Rae complained as they walked away from the theater.

Bodie grinned, "Yes but then how else the director would have had reason to show some tits?"

Rae's eyes narrowed, "By not showing them at all."

"Then it wouldn't be any fun." Bodie laughed and danced from her. "Oh come on Raegan, you didn't appreciate those fine globes of beauty? They were so firm and perky."

At the word perky, Rae launched herself and tackled him into the grass. Bodie laughed as the two wrestled in the grass, rolling around trying to gain the upper hand. Bodie gave up as Rae shoved his shoulders into the ground and she straddled his waist.

"You were saying?" Rae growled, the smile on her face betraying her true feelings.

"That there's no one better than you." He pulled her down and kissed her softly. "Rae, I've wanted to say this for a while. I lo…."

He was interrupted by a blood curdling scream. Rae jumped to her feet, pulled a knife from her boots, and ran toward the sound all in one movement. Bodie cursed and rolled to his feet. They both turned the corner to find two figures standing over a woman kneeling on the ground. Rae could just faintly make out the rifles in their hands as she ran toward them. She grabbed one around the neck and kicked the other in the knee, causing him to fall to the ground. Her knife plunged into her captive’s heart as Bodie punched the other in the jaw. Both bodies fell to the ground and Rae got a good look at them.

"Hey you okay?" Bodie asked, going over to the woman that had begun to scramble away from them, face contorted in fear.

Gun fire and screams filled the air and Rae picked the rifles up. She strapped one on her back while checking the other. "Bodie get her to safety. I have a score to settle."

"Wait…" He called out, but she was already over a fence and heading toward the noise. He looked back at the two figures and swallowed. "Batarians." He cursed.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt guilty for the last cliff hanger.   
> Your comments, kudos, and follows feed me.  
> I'm hungry.   
> brittsis.tumblr.com

Rae found them raiding people's houses, pulling them from their beds and into the streets. If they fought, they were shot and disposed. The other's were divided and thrown into cages. Screams and rifle fire echoed off the houses as children cried out for their parents. Rae ran into the street and took a few out before they noticed she was there. She'd been trained with a pistol but the rifle was something else. Unsure of her aim and control, she'd shot the ones furthest from the civilians. The kick had cost her to lose her balance and she stumbled back. Their bullets collided with her barrier and knocked her down. Growling she rolled back unto her feet, rifle shooting another bastard in the gut.

"Fight, stand strong!" Rae yelled at the stop of her voice as the butt of her rifle smashed in the face. Her hand lashed out and clenched, another dropping to the ground gripping his chest. It was a trick her biotic instructor had taught her. Don't exhaust your biotics trying to warp the entire body, instead go for the lungs or the heart.

Two boys rose to her call, taking two of the Batarians while their attention was on her. She turned to the last and knocked it out with the butt of her rifle. She shot the unconscious ones before turning back to the survivors. She helped release the caged ones and armed the two boys with pistols from the dead.

"We're going to city hall. From there we can send for help." Rae looked them over. They were scared, huddled together. She didn't know how she was going to protect them but she had little choice. If she couldn't do this how could she go through with her career choice?

\-------

It seemed to take forever to reach city hall. They had come upon four more raiding parties and had doubled their party. However, with each raiding party there were less and less survivors. Raegan was running out of time and she knew it. Gritting her teeth, she ushered the last of her group into the hall and locked the doors behind them.

"Rae is that you?" Bodie called and beckoned her over. She ran to him and hugged him tight. He hugged her back, "You scared me running off like that, what were you thinking?"

"I've been trained for this Bodie. I admit I'm still learning, but this is what I do. What I want to do." Rae sighed and looked around the room. It was a sad sight that was presented to her. The lights were off, the room only lit by emergency lighting. The shadows seemed to mock them as everyone sobbed in fear. Her few "soldiers" stood by the door with their pistols in hand. They were untrained but determined to protect their family.

"Come on, let’s send for help."

"No good, first thing I tried. The coms are out." Bodie sighed and rubbed his face hard. "All we can do is barricade ourselves in here and hope for rescue."

Rae cursed under her breath. They'd never last like that. All the Batarians had to do was hit the place all at once and they'd be dead meet. "What about the extranet? Maybe we can get a message out?"

"We aren't a rich colony Rae; the only terminals are at the high school."

"Then I'm going to the high school."

Bodie growled and grabbed her, "You can't go out there. You're just one person Rae. How can you possibly win?"

"I don't know!" Rae screamed at him and shrugged his hand off. "I don't know but I've got to try."

"Then let me come with you. Let me watch your back." Bodie held up his hand, stopping her protests. "We're a good team Rae. Remember man hunt?"

Rae nodded and reluctantly agreed to let him come. She did need someone to watch her back. She gave Bodie the spare rifle and climbed onto the roof of the building. The moon was full and high in the sky, giving them plenty of light. They had a few hours of night left and planned to use it as their cover. "This is the best way to get their quick. We get there, get in, send the message, and come back."

Bodie swallowed and glanced over the edge. They were five stores up. The fall wouldn't kill them but it would hurt. He looked across the alleyway at the building ten feet away and closed his eyes. "Why the roofs though? Couldn't we run on the ground?"

Rae grinned at him and tightened the shoulder strap on her weapon. "One part skill, one part brave, and two parts stupid remember? Just remember to roll."

She backed up, jumped on the toes of her feet and shook her body loose. She sprinted to the edge and jumped at the last minute. She was airborne a few minutes before she landed on the next building, rolling to take the blow. She stopped and grinned back at Bodie before taking off again.

Bodie was breathing hard when they reached the school, bent over and trying to catch his breath. Raegan was barely winded as she peered around the corner. They hadn't encountered any more raiding parties but they had stuck to the roofs for most of the journey. The building was thirty yards away, only the yard and fence blocking their path.

"I… haven't…. since…. You… left…" Bodie managed out between breaths.

"I can tell," Rae teased and unhooked her weapon. "We're almost there, but we've got nothing but open ground and no cover."

She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, reaching for that spot deep inside her head.

"What are you doing?" Bodie asked only to have her hush him. She glowed blue for a brief second before the barrier went clear. He had known she was biotic but never witnessed her abilities before. "How long can you keep that up?"

"Not long, I haven't been outfitted yet." Rae admitted. "I'll tire out quickly and it's not as strong as those already retrofitted, but it's better than nothing. Now let's go."

She turned the corner and ran for the fence, Bodie right behind her. They kept low as they crossed the distance, eyes alert for any movement. They vaulted over the five foot fence and headed straight for the door. Rae's fingers touched the handles just as she heard someone yell. Cursing, she yanked the door open and pulled Bodie inside. Guns fired outside as the two threaded the flag pole through the doors handles.

"That won't hold them long." Bodie cautioned as they backed away from the door.

"Then we better get going." Rae grumbled and rushed through the halls, heading straight for the library. She pulled the door closed behind them and Bodie rammed a chair under the handle. "Watch the door; I'll get the call out."

Bodie nodded and got on one knee for better stability, sight trained on the door. Rae slid into the terminals chair and activated it. She logged in and thanked her stars that her codes still worked. It didn't take her long to put the address in and place the phone call over the extranet.

"Please answer, please answer." She chanted as the call rang. She could faintly hear footsteps out in the hall and knew time would be short.

The call picked up and Rae received a sleepy answer, "Commander Anderson, do you have any clue what time it is?"

"Sir I'm sorry but this is very important."

Anderson engaged the video feed and blinked sleepily at the screen. "Shepard? What's going on?"

"No time sir. We need help on Mindoir. Batarians…" Rae jumped as something rammed into the library door. She looked over her shoulder as Bodie fired through the doors window, receiving howls in pain. "Send help."

Anderson was already up and moving, putting information through his Omni tool. "Helps on the way Shepard, but it's going to be a couple of days before we can reach orbit. Stay alive Shepard, you hear me?"

Rae nodded, "I'll try sir, but no promises."

She didn't even bother logging off. Jumping up, she ran over to Bodie and added her own gun fire. They broke through the door but were stupid enough to come at them through the choke point. With each squeeze of the trigger Rae became accustomed to the recoil. The bodies piled up until they stopped coming through.

"Stupid fuckers," Bodie chuckled and stood, rubbing his sore shoulder. "Is help coming?"

Rae nodded and glanced at the terminal behind her. Anderson was gone, but the screen was still on. "Let's get back to the others."

\------

The two of them reentered the hall to find that the other's had been busy. They had piled furniture against the door and blocked the windows. Someone had broken through the shock and got smart in their absence. On their way back, Rae had insisted they raid the grocer. They carried back as much water and food as they could without weighing them down but it wasn't enough. Rae now stood guard at the door, relieving the two boys. Bodie came over and pressed an energy bar and a bottle of water into her hands. "You need to eat and drink."

Rae shook her head and gave it back to him. "I'm fine."

 It wasn't true. Her biotics were eating her from the inside out, but she knew how to control it. She could go a few days but it would soon become a large problem.

Bodie frowned and uncapped the bottle. "At least get some water in you. The last thing you had was popcorn and soda at the movies, that was hours ago."

The sun was just peeking through the windows, casting beams of light through the barricades. She lost count of the hours she had spent on her feet. Taking the water, she drank half of it without stopping.

"Give the rest to one of the kids." Rae insisted and handed the bottle back.

He left her and Rae shook her head, freeing it of the cobwebs. She needed a proper meal and sleep but it would be a long time until she could get either. It would only be a matter of time before the Batarians came looking for them and she needed a plan. Her mind went over everything she learned at the academy and everything told her to get the civilians out. But that would mean taking them out in the open with little to no guard. So they had to stay here and wait for help.

The doors shook violently and Rae snapped to attention. People screamed behind her and she turned to hush them, seeing Bodie already moving through their ranks. The doors shook more as someone cursed outside. They stopped trying to come in but she could hear voices, human voices.

"Hey help me!" She ordered.

A couple of people came to her aid as they cleared the furniture. Rae raised her rifle and signaled them to open the door. Three dirty people stood outside, one held between the other two. She motioned them inside as she guarded their backside. Once everyone was inside, they relocked the doors.

"We need help, he's hurt really bad." The female spoke up as one of the boys from earlier moved to relieve her of her burden.

Rae turned back to them and gasped. Ayden was the hurt man, blood seeping from his stomach. There was a rush of motion as Ayden was carried to the center of the room and laid down. He groaned and hissed in pain, eyes opening.

"Hey little sister, happy to see you're okay." He coughed and grinned at her as she knelt beside him.

Rae tore his shirt away and got a better look at the wound. He had two bullet wounds in his gut. Without immediate help Ayden was going to slowly bleed to death. She balled up his shirt and pressed it tight against the wounds. "What happened Ayden? Did you try to be a hero?"

"Had to rescue the damsel didn't I?" He chuckled then groaned in pain.

"Looks more like the damsel saved you old man." Rae smiled at him as she waved for help. The woman that helped him knelt beside her and pressed against the wound.

"We have to get the bleeding to stop," Rae whispered to her and received a nod.

"I'm going to get you help Ayden, you hang in there." She stood and headed for the stairs. Bodie caught up with her and grabbed her wrist. "Where are you going?"

"He needs help. There's got to be a doctor left, or a nurse. Someone." Rae clenched her fists and looked over his shoulder at her dying brother. "I took first aid Bodie. They have a name for that wound. It's called the slow death. Without medical attention he'll bleed to death or die of infection."

"It's light out there Rae. You're half asleep on your feet and you haven't had anything to eat. Going out there is suicide." Bodie tried to talk sense into her, but he knew that look. Her mind was made up.

"I can't stand by and watch another brother die." Rae sobbed out before she could stop herself. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath to calm herself. "Are you coming or staying?"

Bodie frowned and cursed softly, knowing his answer before she even asked.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me. I love you guys, I swear.  
> Your comments, kudos, and follows feed me.  
> I'm hungry.   
> brittsis.tumblr.com

Rae was proficient at her weapon by midday. They had found and killed several raiding parties, releasing the captives. She searched nonstop but no one they encountered was medical. With each passing hour Raegan was becoming more and more desperate, her attacks getting more suicidal. When she charged into one group without pause Bodie stepped in. He pulled her into a house and got her to drink some water from the tap.

"Rae, maybe we should just go to the hospital. Bring back some medi-gel and hope he lasts until help gets here." Bodie sat down beside her and poured water over his head, trying to cool off. Raegan agreed and left without another word.

When they got there it was apparent why no doctors could be found. Bodies lay everywhere, everyone having been killed. The Batarians had hit the facility hard and raided its supplies. With each empty cabinet, Rae felt like screaming. She slammed the draws and doors and she looked for anything.

"Everything.. The bastards took everything!"

They spent several hours, searching for even one pack of medi-gel. When nothing could be found, Rae fell to her knees and screamed at the top of her lungs. Her biotics raced over her skin as she lost brief control of her emotions. Bodie knelt beside her and wrapped her tight in a hug. "It's going to be okay. We'll figure something out."

She leaned against him and shook in frustration. They stayed like that for several minutes as her temper cooled. She regained her emotions and sighed against his shoulder. "Thank you."

Bodie smiled and kissed her cheek. "Let's get back."

\---------------

The sun had set when they were halfway back. They moved quickly, darting from alleyway to alleyway. Turning the corner, Rae halted and tried to duck back before she was noticed. There was a large group of Batarians in the middle of the street. They had circled around a girl and were playing with her. She had a knife and was slashing at them. Every time one got close, she'd swing her blade and curse at them. It was a game to the bastards as all they had to do was pull out their guns.

"We can't save her," Bodie whispered into her ear, seeing the gleam in her eyes. "There's twenty of them and only two of us."

"Three," Rae whispered back and peeked around the corner again. This time she got a better glance at the woman and smirked. "It's Sydney, Bodie, she only needs a distraction."

Before he could react, Rae stepped out of cover and whistled loudly. "Hey ugly!"

That caught their attention, several turned toward her and that was all Sydney needed. The girl lashed out and had two killed before they could lift their weapons. The other's shouted as Rae lifted her own gun and began to take them out. She could hear Bodie yelling at her to take cover as he added his own gun fire to the mix. When it was all said and done, Rae was grinning ear to ear as she approached the girl.

"You okay Sydney?"

The girl was covered in blood but that didn't stop her from hugging Raegan. "Oh my god, Rae. I can't believe it's you! I can't believe you called them ugly and they actually responded."

"Okay okay… calm down Syd." Rae laughed and hugged the girl back. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to survive. Who knew our games from childhood would work so well in the real world?"

"Who knew," Bodie grumbled from behind them. "But this isn't a game."

"I know that Bodie, but it's still fun." Sydney put her knife through her belt and began to search the bodies. "So where you guys holing up?"

"City hall," Rae answered, letting her guard down. "But we came out looking for medical help. Ayden's hurt bad."

"Then you need to hit their base. I watched the fuckers take our medical supplies from the hospital." Sydney looked up and smiled at her. "It'll be like old times; the three of us taking an enemy base."

"It's idiotic Rae!" Bodie argued in a hushed whisper, stealing a glance at Sydney as she cleaned herself off in a fountain. "She's off her rocker. Always was a little weird."

"We need crazy right now Bodie." Rae argued back, pacing back and forth. "Ayden needs medicine and there's no telling how many other people are hurt. We've been sending people that way all day."

"More reason to get back. That many people had to have attracted attention."

"But we need those supplies. Look, it'll be a quick hit. Grab a couple packs of gel then we'll get out of there. I swear!" Rae promised him and stopped. "You can come or you can go Bodie. There's nothing keeping you here."

Bodie growled at that and grabbed the back of her neck. His lips collided with hers, full of hunger and anger. Rae's eyes fluttered closed as she opened up to him, lips parting for his tongue. He released her and looked right into her eyes. "Would you stop giving me that choice and trust me? I'm not your family Rae."

Raegan nodded, placing her hand against his cheek. "I trust you Bodie; I just don't want you getting hurt."

"And I don't want you wasting your life." He replied before breaking away. Hefting his rifle up, Bodie headed for the enemy camp.

Rae ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. She'd let it drop for now, but sooner or later they were going to have to talk. She seemed to have hurt him more than he let on during her absence.

\--------

The three of them crouched low behind the prefab building and waited for the patrol to pass. They could hear screams, pleas for mercy, and sobs coming from the middle of the camp. The Batarians were doing something to the colonist and it didn't sound pretty. Rae gritted her teeth and edged through the shadows. They were heading for the building that Sydney had spotted the Batarians storing their goods. Silently, Rae waved at her companions and motioned for them to wait for her. She could see the defiance in Bodie's face but she chose to ignore it.

Rae turned the knob slowly and eased the door open. She slid inside and surveyed the room. There were no guards inside but the room was filled with supplies. She spotted a large metal case with a red plus on the side and went right for it. Only pausing long enough to check its contents, Rae snuck out and back to the others. She held it up triumphal when something caught the corner of her eyes. She turned just in time to watch her mother and brothers get dragged by with metal collars around their necks. Her rifle was up and finger on the trigger before anyone could react. The two Batarians escorting them dropped and Rae rushed to her family’s side. Their eyes were milky and didn't focus on her.

"You killed the master," Galvin yelled and launched at her.

Rae ducked from him only to be caught by Tyron. She fought against him as alarms sounded and her mother stalked closer.

"We must avenge the master," Abigail growled, her fingers curled into claws.

Rae stopped fighting and closed her eyes. She waited for the attack that never happened and fell to the ground as Tyron released her.

"Get up," Bodie hauled her to her feet and pulled her to the exit. It was too late though, they were surrounded.

Raising their weapons, the two of them started firing and raced through the camp. They ducked the shots being fired at them and launched to the top of the fence. Bodie landed on the other side while Rae eased herself over the barbed wire. Sydney slid under the fence, medical kit in hand and took off running. Just as she went to let go fire laced her shoulder. Screaming in pain, she released the fence and landed on her back. The air vacated her lungs and she gulped for air, lungs and throat starting to burn. Bodie hauled her up and threw her over his shoulder, running for safety.

From his shoulder she gasped for breath. Her vision began to darken as she caught sight of her family. The Batarians had begun to kick and beat them senseless when one pulled out a pistol and delivered three bullets.

\------------

Rae woke screaming, her biotics coming alive. Bodie was there quickly, telling her everything was okay and that she was safe. It took a couple of minutes before she became fully awake and got her biotics back under control. Raegan grunted as she tried to move her shoulder. "What… what happened?"

"You were shot," Bodie sighed and gently helped her into a sitting position. "We did what we could, but the bullets still in there."

Rae groaned and put her hand against her throbbing pain. "Ayden?"

When Bodie looked away she knew her answer. They had been too late. She was the last Shepard alive. "How long was I out?"

"About twenty-four hours. The Alliance is here; you can hear fighting and just make out the battle from the roof."

She nodded, "And the Batarians?"

"They're holding the line, keeping help from reaching us. A couple came a tested the door a few hours ago, but nothing since. Wait, what are you doing?" He protested as she began to stand. She was unsteady and almost fell to the ground once. She grabbed onto him and got to her feet, fighting back the dizziness.

"They need help Bodie. Otherwise the Batarians are going to get through and slaughter everyone here." She let go of him and headed for the stairs. She stopped by one of the guards and traded her rifle for a pistol. Her shoulder wouldn't allow her to handle the two handed weapon.

"You're injured Rae. You can't go out there!"

"I have to go Bodie. Those men and women are fighting for us. I have to help them and protect the others." Rae growled at him and motioned for the guys to clear the door.

Sydney appeared beside her, sporting a pistol as well as her knife, a wild grin on her face. "What's your plan boss?"

"I saw grenades and land mines in the supply building. We're going to blow their lines apart." Rae exited the hall and started for the Batarian camp once again.

"You're both insane!" Bodie yelled, tagging alone despite it.

\--------------

The Alliance attacking the front lines provided the perfect distraction. The camp was mostly deserted. They only had to fight a few stragglers and it was easy enough. They reached the supplies and loaded up all the explosives they could find. They didn't hit any real resistance until they got closer to the battle.

Some Batarians had spotted them and pinned them down behind some cover. Rae peeked around only to have to quickly duck back again. They didn't even need to go past them. But as soon as the group would stand the Batarians would have easy shots.

Rae threw another warp over the barrier and groaned as pain lanced her body. It had been days since she ate and with each biotic use she got weaker and weaker. Bodie was huddled beside her, once in a while returning fire. Sydney was on the other side of the hall, watching them.

"Looks like we're trapped boss," She called out over the gun fire and took her pack off. She threw it across to them and grinned.

"You two finish the plan. Run!" She shouted and rolled out of cover, her pistol firing. She got to her feet and ran at the Batarians, knife flashing.

Rae knew she didn't have any other choice. Grabbing Sydney's bag and Bodie, she ran down the alleyway toward their goal. Bodie followed behind her, cursing the entire time. He fired his rifle behind them and pulled a mine from his bag. Arming it, he dropped it behind them just as they turned a corner. They were a few feet away when it went off, rocking the buildings and ground. Rae whispered thanks to their friend.

\--------------

The two of them had snuck up to a bunker the Batarians had built. The bastards were huddled inside, automatic turrets protecting their position from Alliance advancement. They lined the bunker with the explosive and threw a couple of grenades inside for good measure. They avoided the blast but couldn't out run the blast wave. It knocked the two of them to the ground and unconscious.

The next time Rae opened her eyes she was strapped to a pole with a Batarian slicing her skin with a knife. She gritted her teeth and refused to reward them with a scream.

The Batarian stopped as another walked into view. The monster examined her and lifted her chin to look into her eyes.

"Is this the one that blew our bunker, causing us to lose ground?" It growled out.

"Her and the boy besides her." The torturer answered.

"She's but a child!" The guy roared and turned toward his fellows, "Who could you let a child best you?"

He had released her chin, allowing Rae to look around her. She spotted Bodie tied to a pole a few feet, groaning in pain. He was bleeding all over the place and was missing an ear. She struggled against her bonds only to draw her captor's attention.

"She's a fighter. What is she fighting for?"

"The boy maybe, sir. Studies say the humans fight to protect their mates fiercely." Her torturer responded.

"Then break her already. Kill the boy."

"NO!" Raegan shouted and struggled harder. The Batarians all laughed at her effort.

"Oh this is sweet." The Batarian grabbed her chin and turned her head towards Bodie. The boy lifted his head and looked right at her, trying to smile. He coughed instead and spat out blood.

"Rae…" Bodie shook his head at her. "Help is on the way. Survive for me. I love yo…" The torturing shoved the dagger through Bodie's heart, silencing him.

Raegan screamed then. She fought against her bonds as the Batarians laughed once more. She glared at them, biotics glowing. She screamed again, eyes glowing blue. Her biotics flared hot, engulfing the area. The Batarians screamed as well their bodies twisted and broke from the force. Limbs were torn free of their bodies and the dropped to the ground dead. Raegan cried in pain before losing consciousness.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments, kudos, and follows feed me.  
> I'm hungry.   
> brittsis.tumblr.com

There was gun fire all around her. Her eyes opened for a moment, just in time to see the Alliance push through. She struggled to stay awake but exhaustion pulled her down again.

"Shepard… Shepard, open your eyes!" She didn't want to wake up. There was pain everywhere. Everyone was dead.

"Open your eyes soldier that's an order!" Lashes parted but she couldn't focus through the pain. "That's my girl. Stay awake now. Cut her down!"

\------

_"She over did it with the biotics. They're eating her from the inside out." Someone spoke softly to her right. She groaned and opened her eyes. Anderson came into view and gripped her hand._

_"You fight child. You hear me? I held up my end of the deal."_

_She could hear hushed whispering but couldn't see anything. "She's the reason that bunker blew? But she's only a child."_

_"She's more than that doctor. She's a beacon of hope."_

_Her entire body felt as it was on fire. Pain crippled her as her brain struggled to cope. Visions washed together. Sydney appeared beside her, sporting a pistol as well as her knife, a wild grin on her face. "What's your plan boss?"_

_"Had to rescue the damsel didn't I?" Ayden chuckled then groaned in pain._

_"Well? No excuses this time? No apologies? Look at what you did to this family. You've torn us apart." Abigail spat at her. "Why Raegan?"_

_"Mom's going to be pissed if she finds out you're here Rae," Brandon whispered and cupped her cheek._

_"I think Tyron's right brother. Besides, Rae can hold her own against any unwanted advances." Galvin grabbed some cake and moved closer. "Oh calm down sister," he grinned and pulled back his hand, "and have some cake!"_

_"Here Shepard, come on harder! Again, again. Faster this time. Keep your hands up!" Coach Charles reached across and swatted the girl on the side of her head._

_"Hey Rae, I'm Bodie." The boy grinned and took her hand._

_"Rae…" Bodie shook his head at her. "Help is on the way. Survive for me. I love yo…" The torturing shoved the dagger through Bodie's heart, silencing him._

Rae woke up screaming. She jumped from the bed and put her back against a wall. There was a feral look to her as she pulled the IV out of her arm. Soldiers rushed into the room, guns raised. She lifted her hands, biotics glowing.

"Stand down! I said stand down!" Anderson fought through the line and swatted the guns pointed at her. He turned back to her, hands raised and palms facing her. "It's okay Shepard. You're safe now."

"Where… where…" Rae tried to asked, shaking the fogginess from her head.

"SSV Brigid. You're in the medical bay." Anderson took a step closer, eyes never leaving hers. "They're all dead Shepard; every one of those Batarian bastards."

Her hands dropped and she sank to the floor. Hugging herself she started to cry, weeping for everything she lost. Anderson crossed the distance between them and pulled her into his embrace. "You did good child, you did good."

\------

The numbers of graves were astronomical. Raegan had tried to count them until her migraine returned. The doctor had warned that stress would trigger it and that she shouldn't attend the service. She had to though, she owed it to them. Dressed in her dress blues, Rae stood on the platform and bowed her head as the priest said a few words. But it wasn't enough, not in her eyes. Too many dead, so many lost and the rest left broken. One by one the coffins were lowered. Some cried but most stood silently like her.

Raegan left the platform and hurried for the edge of the cemetery. She couldn't stand anyone else thanking her, she didn't deserve it. She hadn't been quick, smart, or strong enough to save anyone. It had all been a matter of luck that the Batarians didn't break through city hall before the Alliance chased them off. The true heroes were the ones being buried behind her.

"Shepard… Raegan Shepard!"

Rae growled as she heard her name being called out. For a brief second she considered running. Instead she clenched her first and turned around, reading herself for the onslaught. It was only Anderson. She tried to smile at him and he appreciated the effort.

"I leave tomorrow back to Earth. We're leaving some marines here to protect the survivors and help with the clean up. But the brass wants answers."

"I did what I could!" Rae protested.

"I know that Shepard. Everyone here knows that you gave it your all. I wasn't suggesting that you talk with the brass, I can do that. What I was asking is if you wanted a ride back to Earth? Do you want to go back to the academy?"

"The Alliance is all I have left sir.”

\----------------

They had held a memorial service a year later but Rae couldn't go. She couldn't face the memories or the survivors. Her shrink had questioned her motives but reluctantly agreed that it was for best. Maybe in a few years when the scars weren't so fresh she could return. But right now it just wasn't in the equation. They were discussing a new topic right now, her decision to get the biotic amp implant.

"You realize this is a very dangerous procedure, especially on a seventeen year old. There's a reason they do it to five and six year olds, Shepard." The shrink leaned forward and linked his fingers under his chin, concern on his face.

"I know that sir. It’s the reason I didn't get implanted when I started at the academy three years ago. Paralyzes, schizophrenia, brain death, death period. Any number of things could go wrong." Rae answered and leaned against the window sill she was near. Her gaze watched the other children working on their drills, getting ready for championship.

"They why go through with it? You're a fine soldier. You can fight better than most, assess the battle field quickly, and defeat your enemy with little to no casualties. Frankly Shepard, you're one of the best recruits this academy has seen since it opened."

Rae gripped the window sill as the faces of her loved ones flashed in her mind. They taunted her achievements, belittling them until they meant nothing to the girl. "Because I'm not the best."

Taking a deep breath, she turned from the window and looked the shrink in the eye. "Sir my biotics are part of me. Sure I can survive without them and I'm a damn good soldier. But frankly, I'd be better with them. Maybe if I was implanted I could have saved more on Mindoir."

"Ahhh… now we get to the root of it." The man wrote something on his pad and leaned back in his chair. "Tell me Shepard, do you still blame yourself for the losses suffered on your colony?"

Raegan's fist clenched and her teeth gritted. She knew the truth; she knew the nightmare still plagued her some nights. But she also knew that if she told them man the truth it could end it all. A figure moved in the corner of her eye, but she didn't turn to look. She knew that figure very well. His shadow had followed her since that night.

'He knows you too well, doesn’t he Rae?' Bodie chuckled and walked to stand behind the man, peaking at his notes.

Rae turned away and closed her eyes. "No sir. But I do blame myself for not using all of my abilities." She reopened them to find her specter gone. "This is my choice sir. I'm getting the implants and becoming the best damn soldier the alliance can provide."

 


	13. Chapter 13

Rae gritted her teeth as she struggled to move her legs. There had been complications with the surgery, much as suspected. But she had lived through it and the doctors swore, with time, that she would be able to use her legs again. They had insisted she'd only regain some movement and with therapy, in a few years, she'd be able to participate in a support role with the Alliance. It had been a week and she was already walking. It was a slow process and she required the aid of a walker, but the therapist called it a miracle. Rae called it sure will and determination.

Her knee gave out and the orderlies moved to help. Rae growled at them and pulled herself up. She had four months until her birthday, four short months to retrain her body, four months until she signed the paperwork and became a Private in the Alliance Marines.

'Maybe you should stop for the day? Give yourself a break.' Bodie mention from behind her, arms out stretched as if he could catch her.

"Why are you here?" She replied and took another step forward.

"We're monitoring your progress ma'am. Making sure you don't get hurt." One of the orderlies spoke up, thinking she was speaking to him.

'I'm here for as long as you need me Rae.'

"I don't need you. Just leave me alone." Rae's gripped tightened on her walker and took another step forward. It was getting easier with each step.

"I'm sorry ma'am but we can't do that."

Bodie laughed, 'What he said.'

\----------------

Sweat coated her shirt as the music played a beat into her ear. Her mind was blank except for the reminder to keep her breathing even. Rae jumped and hauled herself over the wall, landing on the other side. Without stopping a beat, she jumped onto the balancing beam and crossed it with her arms out stretched. Sand flew being her as she ran toward the last obstacle, the climbing ropes.

Launching herself up, she grunted as she climbed to the top and rang the bell first. She dropped to the ground and grinned, looking back at her accomplishments. Before she knew why laughter bubbled up and took over. She knelt in the sand, clutching her middle as she broke little by little. All her hard work was finally paying off; she was back in prime condition.

It was several minutes before she finally got control of herself. A chuckle escaped once in a while, but at least she could breathe now.

'Did you finally crack?' Bodie asked after she turned the music off. He was leaning against the climbing rope frame, arms crossed.

"No, I did that long ago." Rae grinned and walked over to her stuff, grabbing the bottle of water. She poured some over her head and neck, running fingers through her hair. They had shaved her bald after the surgery and it was just getting long enough for her to run her fingers through. She drank the rest of the bottle and tossed it into the nearby recycler. Pulling on her brother's old hoodie, she turned back to Bodie.

"My birthday is in a week. I'm going to walk into the recruiter’s office of my own free will and I'm going to sign that paperwork."

'I'm proud of you Rae. Despite everything, you made it. You survived where others would have broken.'

"I owe it all to you Bodie. You've been my rock through it all." Rae slid her bag onto her shoulder and smiled at him. "Thank you."

\------------

"Class of twenty-one seventy-two, ten hut!" The Headmaster called through the speakers, causing everyone to jump to their feet and to attention. Silence echoed the hall as everyone watched the students standing proud.

"Present arms!" He called and slowly everyone raised their arm in salute. All of the instructors stood on the stage, saluting the students back.

"May I present the graduating class of twenty-one seventy-two. At ease Cadets, you're hereby released from service with Hoplite Academy."

"Sir yes sir!" The students answered in unison. Cheers erupted and uniform covers went flying. The students scattered as they found friends and family. Rae moved from the group to the wall, smiling at her classmates' fortune. She watched as hugs and handshakes were exchanges. They would return home to their families and celebrate their new found freedom. Some would continue on to serve the Alliance, others to get jobs in whatever field they studied while in school. Raegan was going home to a small hotel where her orders already awaited her. She had two weeks of leave to get her affairs in order. Then she was to report for duty where her true training would begin.

"Shepard," Anderson called out as he found her at the edge of the room. "I mean Private Shepard." He raised his hand in salute.

Rae grinned as she snapped to attention, her own hand rising up. "Commander Anderson."

"At ease soldier. So how does it feel?" He asked, mouth curling in his own grin.

"It feels good sir. It will be better in fourteen weeks when I graduate boot."

"One step at a time child. Enjoy the achievement. Now I have a week of leave. Mind if this old man shows you around the city?"

'Go with him Rae, you deserve it.' Bodie replied from besides her.

Raegan nodded, "It would be a pleasure sir."

"Anderson, please. We're not on duty Shepard. We'll stop the sirs and ma'ams until duty calls again." He clapped her on the shoulder before drawing her from the room.

\--------------

Rae leaned against the railing on the bridge and watched the ships lazily glide through the water. The sun was just coming over the horizon and she paused on her run to watch it. Anderson had brought her to London instead of remaining in New York. He said it was an exercise to teach her culture but she secretly suspected that he just wanted to return home for a bit. She couldn't blame him the slightest. If she still had a home Rae would've been on Mindoir, discussing her future with Bodie.

Thinking of him, she glanced around looking for her shadow. She hadn't seen him since they arrived in London three days ago. Part of her wondered if his absence was because of the peace she felt since arriving. There was something about the city that brought a smile to her lips.

Anderson caught up with her, bent in half trying to catch his breath. Grinning, Rae turned from the view and cross her arms. "I was beginning to wonder if I'd have to go find you sir."

Anderson chuckled and shook his head. "And I thought you just recently regained your ability to run."

Rae shrugged, "I guess I'm just built for it. Besides you haven't seen what I can really do."

He raised a brow, "Oh really? Do you remember how to get back to the apartment?"

 When she nodded, he stood next to her and craned his neck side to side. "How about a race then? Loser buys the other dinner and a round?"

Rae couldn't help but laugh. He really didn't know what she was capable of. Then again, a free meal was a free meal.

"Deal." Rae held out her hand and they shook on it. "Ready…"

"Set…"

"GO!" They yelled in unison and took off. Anderson charged down the street as Rae jumped on top of the railing. Balancing, she jumped and grabbed the frame hoisting herself up. Anderson stop and watched lack jawed as she moved through the framing and launched herself onto the building at the edge of the bridge.

"Keep up old man!" Rae yelled behind her as she disappeared from view.

Shaking himself from shock, Anderson took off again determined to reach home first. He dodged pedestrians and traffic, concentrating only on his goal. Once in a while he'd hear Rae's laugh as she crossed his path but he wasn't paying attention. He reached the apartment and grinned as she wasn't in view. Climbing the stairs, he pulled out his key and opened the door already tasting that beer.

"So when's dinner?" Rae asked from the rocking chair in the living room, causing Anderson to jump. His jaw dropped as he looked from her to the outside world, trying to figure out how she had beaten him.

"You might want to close the door sir, don't want to let the flies in."

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay these next couple of chapters Rae is going to be in boot camp. As I have never been to boot myself I had to base all my facts on research done on the internet.

The recruiter had warned her to take little to nothing with her to Paris Island, saying that everything would be provided for her. Anderson had agreed to store her things at his flat, so she sent them by postal the day before her bus ride. With only the clothes on her back, she boarded the large bus and took a seat half way back. She settled in for the ride and didn't give much thought to the journey, barely watching the scenery pass.

It was late or early morning when the bus stopped. She looked forward to watch a man board and lean against the front to seats. His head bowed for a moment and there was silence among them.

He lifted his head, a smile ghosting his lips for a brief moment. He straightened and took a step forward.

"Okay you worthless maggots!" He spoke in a raised voice, just barely above a shout. "You're going to leave everything behind on this bus. Not one bag, not one memento, not one memory shall leave this vehicle. From the moment you leave this bus you are trash. You are nothing. Do you understand me?"

"Sir yes sir." Rae with a few others called out.

"Am I speaking French? Are your translator's not working? I said do you understand me!"

"Sir yes sir." The entire bus answered this time.

The instructor walked down the aisle, taking time to examine each and every one of them. "You're going to go out there and stand on the yellow foot prints. You're going to stand with your faces to the sun, hands at your side, and chest out. We're going to start on the right, three per line, and work our way left. You're not to move from that spot until told so. Do you understand?"

"Sir yes sir."

He paused for a moment at the front of the bus, standing next to the driver. "Get moving. Get off my bus; I said get off my bus!"

There was a flurry of movement as they vacated their seats. Rae hurried into her spot and stood at attention. There was other instructors, pointing and yelling at the ones too slow and sloppy. When everyone was standing on the foot prints the one from the bus stood on top of the podium and looked them over.

"Welcome to Paris Island, you're new home. Here you maggots will be trained into the best the Alliance has to offer. Here you will be molded into an Alliance Marine. Until that time, you are trash. The words me, I, or we are out of your vocabulary. You are not to even think of yourselves in that fashion until told otherwise! From this moment on you are to say "this recruit" or "that recruit." Do you understand me?"

"Sir yes sir!"

"I can't hear you! I want you to wake up the whole base. Do you understand me?"

"SIR YES SIR!"

"Now when I tell you, you're going to turn face up and line up real close against the wall behind you. Now move, move, move!"

Rae hurried and found one shoulder brushing against the wall, the other rubbing against the person next to her. They were crowded tight, leaving no room between them. Some of the instructors were moving up and down the line yelling at the other recruits. Once they were in line, the instructor started yelling again.

"You're going to get inside and claim a bunk. You're then going to climb into said bunk and go to bed. Lights will go out and you will sleep. Now move."

"Sir yes sir." They called out again and ran into the room.

They grabbed a bunk, one at a time until everyone was tucked firmly in their beds. The small limp mattresses provided little to no comfort, the pillows were limp, and the wool blankets scratched their skin. The lights went out then turned right back on again.

"Get out of my bunks. Get up, get up! Stand on the line, stand on the mother fucking line!"

Rae jumped from her bunk, quickly made the bed back up, and stood at attention on the black line that ran down the corridor. The instructors filed in and inspected the bunks, hers being the first that was made. "Whose bunk is this?"

"This recruit slept in that bunk sir!" Rae shouted but didn't move.

The instructors all converged upon her, one getting close enough to brush noses. "Why did you make the bunk?"

"This recruit made the bunk because the bunk doesn't belong to this recruit, Sir."

"What did you say?" The instructor yelled again.

"This recruit made the bunk because the bunk doesn't belong to this recruit, Sir. The bunk belongs to the Alliance and this recruit will treat it with respect, sir."

"We got a mother fucking genius!" The instructor yelled and backed away from her. Rae let out her breath and thanked her stars that she'd been thinking correctly.

"Nothing belongs to you. Everything provided for you belongs to the Alliance! You will treat it with respect. Now make your bunks! Make them now!"

The other recruit scrambled to do as instructed. Rae took the moment to glance around and found only four other's that already had their bunks made. She wondered if they too had academy training or some previous service within the military.

After the bunk had been made, the instructors had filed them out of the room and into another room with stations. They were divided into groups of five and handed paperwork, told to make the rounds. Rae was now being instructed on how to keep her hair by the military beautician. She could grow it out, if she chose, but it would have to be kept in a tight bun at the back of her head. Her hair was with in regulation, as long as she kept it from touching her collar. She was dismissed and moved to the next area.

"Strip down to your skivvies," the doctor instructed and held out his hand for her paperwork. She handed it over and did as she was told. The woman gave her a brief glance before inspecting the paperwork. "It says here that until recently you were paralyzed from the waist down."

"Ma'am yes ma'am" Rae answered and stood at attention.

"Volunteered to get your biotic amp put it. Very risky for your age but according to your records you avoided any permanent damage. A doctor already cleared you for service, so no need for a physical." The woman handed back her paperwork and went to a box, pulling out a pack which she began to fill with miscellaneous clothing. She then handed it to Rae as well as a set of fatigues, undershirt, belt, and boots.

"These are your clothes for your stay on Paris Island. You can change into these now." The woman grabbed a clear plastic bag, labeled it with her name and id number, and placed her clothes into it.

Rae dressed quickly and hitched the pack onto her shoulder. Grabbing her paperwork, she headed for the next station to get her vision officially checked by the military optometrist.

\----------------

The sun had risen and set again before she was done with all the stations and sitting cross legged on the floor with her fellow recruits. Exhaustion was a mild tug as they hadn't slept for two days, unless they caught a few winks on the bus. It didn't bother Rae as she only had to remember Mindoir. There was very little they could do to her to match that exhaustion. Some were nodding off around her though, evidently not use to the abuse. The man from the bus entered the room and stood in front of them.

"Now that you've been appropriately dress it’s time to meet your Drill Sergeants."

One woman followed by two men marched into the room and stood at attention. They saluted them quickly before the man spoke up again. "This is Senior Drill Instructor Marie Holland. She will be your commanding officer. Below her are Master Drill Instructor Landon Pickard and Drill Instructor Jesse Gonzales."

At their names they each took one step forward, still standing at attention.

"Now they will give the Drill Instructor creed." The man went to stand in front of Holland and help up his right hand, the other three mirroring him. "Senior Drill Instructor Holland, what is your pledge?"

The three opened their mouths for the first time and spoke in unison. "These recruits are entrusted to my care. I will train them to the best of my ability. I will develop them into smartly disciplined, physically fit, basically trained Marines, thoroughly indoctrinated in love of the Corps and the country. I will demand of them, and demonstrate by my own example, the highest standards of personal conduct, morality and professional skill."

"Master Drill Instructor Holland I now pass these recruits to your care." The man saluted one last time before leaving the room.

Holland stood at ease, looking them over for a brief moment before speaking again. "Pickard, Gonzales."

"Sir yes sir!" The other two called out.

"I want these recruits on their feet and on the field. It's time for IST's." Holland replied and turned, marching from the room.

"Attention, on your feet. Get up," The two started shouting, moving through the ranks. The group stood up, packs gripped in their hands tightly. "Recruits get into formation. Three per row, shoulder to shoulder. Do it now!"

"Heal to toe now, forward march! Left… left… left…" Gonzales yelled out leading the group out of the room. Pickard moved through the formation, correcting the march when needed. They moved out onto a field just as the sun began to set.

Pickard moved down the group, making groups of three by fives. "Take a step back," he yelled as he cut the groups up. "You are now in your platoons. Look to your left and your right. These are your comrades for your duration on Parris Island. You will eat, sleep, and work with them.”

“Platoon one," he pointed to the first fifteen in the front. "Go to Master Drill instructor Holland for your instructions. Move out!”

“Platoon two," he pointed to the second group. "Go to Drill Instructor Gonzales. Platoon three you are with me. Get to the pull up bars, form a single line. Now move it!"

Rae was at the front of Platoon three. She ran over and got second in line. Pickard ran over with them and opened his Omni tool. He clicked a few buttons before nodding to the guy in front of him. "Name and id number?"

"Christopher Lambert, Sir. Id number 6549 gulf sierra 8979."

Pickard nodded, inputting the data. "This is your initial strength test, otherwise IST. For this section you need to do two dead hang pull ups. Do it now recruit."

Christopher nodded and stepped under the bar. He jumped and grabbed the pole, waiting until he stopped swinging before he pulled himself up twice. He dropped to the ground.

"Good job Lambert. Now stand over here at ease. That means feet apart, hands behind your back." Pickard instructed, correcting the guy's stance where needed.

"Next, name and id."

Rae stepped forward, "Raegan Shepard Sir. Id number 5923 alpha charlie 2826"

"You have two choices recruit." Pickard looked up from his Omni tool. "You can use the male standards or the female. But once you pick, you will always be judge to that standard. What's your choice recruit?"

"This recruit will pick the male standards sir."

"Then give me two pull ups, dead hang." Pickard put more information down as Rae jumped onto the bar. She waited until she hung motionless before doing two pull ups with no effort. After depending on her upper body for several months a few pull ups were nothing. Afterward she got into line behind Christopher and stood at ease.

'Is this what you expected?' Bodie asked, finally appearing after several weeks of being MIA. He stood at ease besides her, a smile on his lips.

'Oh that's right, can't talk.' He chuckled and looked around them. 'These next couples of weeks are going to be interesting.'

Rae closed her eyes, counting to ten in her head before reopening them. Her ghost was gone, for now. He always came back to taunt her. Her platoon finished their pull ups and moved to the side to allow Holland's group access to the bars. They then gave Pickard forty-four crunches in under two minutes, only a few unable to complete the task. From there, they moved to the track.

"Males you have thirteen point five minutes to run one point five miles. One full lap around the track. Females, you have fourteen point five minutes. Lambert you’re up.. Go." He took off and Rae got into position. "Shepard, go."

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos, and everything else.  
> It really does feed my soul.

It was their third day and the instructors had them standing at attention outside. The sun was high, causing the temperatures to rise. Everyone was soaked with sweat and some swayed with borderline heat stroke. They each had a canteen of water at their hip and was instructed to make it last. Before each sip, they were to ask for permission but when their canteen was empty there was no more for the day. Raegan's was about half way empty as she used to water to silence her stomach.

"At ease recruits" There was sighs of relief as they were allowed to move. Rae wanted to cry with relief as her sore and tired muscles stretched out. Gonzales moved among the ranks as Holland and Pickard watched from a chair in the shade.

"These recruits look hot sir!" Gonzales called out, "Permission to cool them off?"

Holland smiled, "Permission granted Drill Instructor."

"Attention!" Gonzales yelled, snapping everyone back into attention. "Forward march! Left, left, left. I said left Dickens! Do you not know your left from your right!"

They marched through the complex, following Gonzales's instructions. They ended up in a car wash when he called a halt march. They stood still as he placed quarters in the machine. "Recruits what is the marine hymn?"

"From the Halls of Montezuma, to the shores of Tripoli. We fight our country's battles, in the air, on land, and sea." They called out in unison; their recruiters having them memorize it.

"Louder!" Gonzales demanded as he turned the hose on them. The water felt great against their heated skin.

"First to fight for right and freedom, and to keep our honor clean. We are proud to claim the title, of Alliance Marine. Our flag's unfurled to every breeze, from dawn to setting sun. We have fought in every clime and place, where we could take a gun." They all were yelling at the top of their voices. The words echoed off the concrete and mocked them.

"Hands up, above your head. Higher Livingston!. March in place, I want your knees hitting your chest! Give me the hymn proud!" They complied, knowing to do otherwise would bring their instructor’s wrath.

\------------

They were soaked through. Wet clothes weighed them down but they were still expected to move quickly. They ran into the mess, gathered their food, and waiting for permission to begin. The drill instructors stood at the front of the mess at their table. They bowed their heads, whispering a prayer. Rae glanced around and found several other recruits doing the same. Rae had never been a religious person and had no reason to start now.

"Meal time is a time of peace," Holland called out. "You are allowed to talk amongst yourselves and relax. At ease, enjoy your food."

Chairs scraped against the floor as everyone sat down. Silence reigned the first couple of minutes as everyone shoveled food into their mouths. It had been three days since they last ate. Once the first hunger pangs were relieved, voices began to pick up. Rae looked up and down the table and came to a startling conclusion. She had twice as much food as everyone else.

'It's because of your biotics.' Bodie spoke to her from across the table. He hovered over the other recruits and smiled at her.

'They're working you harder than you've even been worked. Don't want you to lose control and kill everyone around you.' He chuckled and Rae grunted, unable to talk to him.

The recruit across from her and under Bodie grinned at her. Whipping his hand on his napkin, the boy presented his hand. "The name's Charles Freeman."

Rae took his hand, "Raegan Shepard."

"So tell me Shepard, how'd you end up in the Marines."

"It's a long story," Rae took a sip of her juice and shrugged.

Charles's grin widened and he pushed his food around with his fork. "We've got a little bit. How about this? You tell me your story and I'll tell you mine."

Rae raised her brow as she contemplated the offer. Her eyes drifted up briefly to look for Bodie's opinion. 'Why not? Might as well make friends.'

Rae nodded, "Okay Freeman, you have a deal. But you first."

He chuckled, "Fair enough, well I'm what you call a military brat; grew up on ship after ship. Parents are part of the Alliance Navy."

"Then why'd you join the Marines?" Rae asked before taking a bite of her mixed veggies.

"Now now, I'm telling the story." He winked at her and settled back in his chair.

"Now where was I? Oh that's right, parents are Navy. You see my old man would always tell me who he really wanted to be a Marine. Fighting from the trenches, part of the ground team. He would tell me these heroic tales that would seduce my child mind. As I got older he would get more and more explicit until he told me the real reason he wanted to be a Marine."

Charles leaned in close, "You see, Marines always get the best girls."

Rae snorted, "So you joined the Marines to pick up girls? How's that working out for you?"

He grinned wide, his teeth flashing. "Great, I'm talking to the hottest girl here."

Rae couldn't help but laugh at that. He was amusing, she could give him that. "I thank you for the compliment."

\-----------------

After dinner the instructors took them to their actual bunks. The large building was split into four rooms, one for each platoon and a common room. The bunks were simple, made with the same harsh wool blankets from when they first arrived. In front of each bunk sat two foot lockers where their last names and id numbers scrolled on the front. They were all given leave from the instructors to rest and recover, told that lights went out at nine.

Rae found her bunk and opened her locker to retrieve her toiletries and sleeping gear, a pair of boxers and clean undershirt. Her bunk mate stopped besides her and laughed, drawing Rae's attention to him. Charles stood over her, hand pointing from their lockers to the bunk bed.

"See," he started and winked at her. "We're fated to share a bed."

"In your dreams pal." Rae stood, towel over her shoulder and gear in her hands. She knocked his shoulder with hers as she passed by. She could hear his laughter all the way to the showers. Bodie was waiting for her in the stall, arms crossed.

'You sure you want to provoke that kid?' He asked, clearly not amused.

"Relax," She whispered as she turned the water on and stripped her wet clothes off. "It's just a little fun to relieve the stress. Besides, that would be fraternization." She moved into the shower and left the hot water wash over her tired body.

'I still don't like the idea of you flirting with him.' Bodie grumbled.

Rae peaked out through the curtain and smiled at him. "Are you jealous?"

'How can I be jealous?' He spat and turned from her. 'I'm dead, remember?'

 


	16. Chapter 16

"Only ten more miles children!" Gonzales yelled at them as they reached the mile marker. They woke at the crack of dawn and dressed in all of their gear. Their packs were filled with all the basic essentials and strapped to their backs. Each carried a rifle, filled with cement to keep the gun from being fired. They went through drill, just as they had every morning for the last week. The only difference was the long never ending run. It started at the training ground then wound through the base. They had just turned around and headed for home. The day was just beginning but everyone of them was exhausted.

Rae slowed to an easy gate and placed her rifle on the back of her neck. She squinted her eyes against the rising sun and reminded herself to breath. Charles fell in besides her, his breathing heavy. "I… I don't know… if I… can… make… it!"

"Chin up recruit," She grinned at him. "Just think of the eggs waiting for these recruits."

He glared at her briefly. "This recruit can't think of food right now."

"Shepard, Freeman, Livingston keep up!" Pickard yelled from the front of the group.

Rae turned around to find Livingston bent over wheezing. She ran back to him and took her pack off. Opening his, she put as much of his stuff into hers that would fit and grabbed his rifle as well. The guy thanked her and readjusted his lighter pack. Charles appeared beside them and took Livingston's rifle from Rae. 

"These recruits better catch up." He nodded to them both.

The three caught up with the group, happy to avoid further notice. A cadence broke out and they joined in with the chanting as the church bells rang out the hour.

"Shepard, Freeman. Senior Drill Instructor's office now!" Pickard called when they got into line for breakfast.

"Sir yes sir!" They both called out before running from the room. They reached Holland's office waited to be invited in before entering. They both stood saluted their commanding officer and stood at attention.

"At ease recruits," Holland commanded, taking a sip of her orange juice. She looked up at the both of them and stood from behind her desk. "You might not have known but I have eyes and ears all over this base. Even when I'm not watching, I know what your are doing." She spoke calmly and placed her hands behind her back. "So tell me recruits. Why did you lighten Livingston's load this morning? Each Marine needs to carry their own weight and yet you helped him."

Rae swallowed, "This recruit felt that that recruit needed assistance sir."

"This recruit felt the same Sir." Charles spoke up beside her.

"Then why didn't you alert you instructor?" Holland asked calmly.

"This recruit felt that the situation was under control Sir," Charles spoke up first. "These recruits were able to render aid."

Holland nodded though still not satisfied. "But why did you help him? Why not simply leave him behind? He was weaker, slowing your platoon down."

"No Marine left behind." They both answered her at the same time. Rae lowered her gaze and looked the other woman in the eyes. "Marines protect the weak sir. If these recruits didn't stop to help Recruit Livingston then these recruit don't deserve the title of Marine."

"This recruit agrees with Recruit Shepard Sir." Freeman replied.

Holland regarded them silently then smiled slowly. "Just what I wanted to hear." She leaned across her desk and pressed a button on the phone. "Bella, bring me two trays from the mess. Make sure one's double rations." Holland waved at them, "Sit down recruits. You've earned the break. Your meal will arrive shortly."

\---------

"Congratulations recruits," Holland called from her platform. "You've all made it through the hardest weeks of boot. Today we make a few promotions and announce your platoon leaders. These men and women have been everything that means to be Marine. You are to listen to your platoon leaders as if they were your mother and father as they are your superiors. Platoon one, Recruit Merchant step forward. You are now Lance Corporal Gerald Merchant."

They saluted each other and Pickard pinned a rank rope around the guys arm.

"Platoon two, Recruit Washington step forward. You are now Lance Corporal Lance Washington." The process was repeated again. "And Platoon three, Recruit Freeman step forward. You are now Lance Corporal Charles Freeman." And the process was repeated one last time.

Formalities were taken care of and the new platoon leaders took their position in the ranks. Bodie growled beside her. 'He took your job Rae. I knew I didn't like him.'

Rae didn't answer him, not because she couldn't but because she recognized that part of her felt the same way. It was shameful to feel jealous of Charles for receiving the promotion that she had secretly coveted. It had been part of her plan. Platoon leader during boot, lieutenant in two years, and so on.

"We have one more appointment to be made." Holland's voice caused Rae's throat to tighten. She tried to swallow as her skin crawled in anticipation. "Recruit Raegan Shepard step forward."

Rae marched to the front of the group and saluted her. Holland returned the salute before continuing. "The Alliance is offering you the position of squad leader with the rank of Corporal. It comes with high responsibility. Where the squad triumphs you triumph. Where the squad fails you fail. It is your responsibility to aid the instructors in melding your squad mates into Marines. Do you accept?"

Rae swallowed again, words caught in her throat. She never expected to reach the rank so quickly. She nodded and cleared her throat. "This recruit excepts the rank of Corporal and the position of squad leader."

"Then take command of your troops Shepard." Pickard put two gold ropes on her uniform and placed a whistle around her neck.

Rae saluted Holland one last time before doing an about face. "Platoon leaders sound off!"

"Platoon one attention!"

"Platoon two attention!"

"Platoon three attention!" Charles gave her a small smile before snapping to attention.

\-------------------------------

The instructors had given them an extra two hours of rec time that Saturday as a reward for making it this far. They started martial arts and zero-g survival next week, but for now their time was their own. Most of the squad had choose to spend the time playing cards or sleeping. Rae had chosen to spend her time in the gym with an old friend. Boxing gloves were tapped to her hands as she pounded punch after punch into the bag. She hadn't touched a bad in years, avoiding the reminder of loved ones and home.

"So this is where the new squad leader spends her free time." 

Rae dropped her hands and turned around to fine Charles leaning against the door, arms crossed over his chest. His uniform top was unbuttoned and hung loose on his frame. A pair of dog tags jingled on his chest as he came closer. "Tell me Shepard, do you ever just relax?"

"I am relaxing." Rae put her hands back up and went back to beating the punching bag. She grunted with each punch and watched him as she circled around her. "What do you want Freeman?"

"Hmm… a beer, a cigar, and a fine woman all over me." He answered with a shrug. "That's just the beginning of my demands. You?"

Rae rolled her eyes at his reply but didn't stop punching. "Galaxy peace maybe?"

"Not bad Shepard, but that would leave both of us without a job."

"You've got a job." Charles grabbed the bag and pulled it away from her, grinning. "Hey, I was using that Freeman. Give it back. "

"Make me." He challenged and shoved the back on the track to the other side of the room. He ducked her first couple punches, laughing. "You need to work harder than that. I'm four time reigning champion on the SSV London."

"Is that so?" Rae asked and feigned to the left before hitting his right shoulder. "I'd say you were fighting limp wrist sissies with that guard."

Rae took a step forward and went for two quick jabs to his chest. Charles blocked them both and twisted on his feet so that he floated out of her reach and behind her. Rae spun around and blocked the blow that was coming to her head. "Why won't you stay and fight Freeman? You chicken?"

"Me? Never." He laughed and ducked another punch. He dropped down and wrapped his arms around her waist. Lift her into the year and laughed as she punched his back, demanding to be released. "Such a filthy mouth Shepard."

"Put me down this instant Freeman!" Rae hit him with her knee and was rewarded with a grunt. He put her down and she backed him against the wall. She swung madly, causing him to back up quickly. His knees hit a chair and he fell back. His hands grabbed her, failing to hold himself up. He fell with Rae on his chest, chuckling. "You're completely hopeless."

"I wouldn't say so. I got one of my wishes." Charles whispered as their breaths mingled and noses touched. They stayed like that, eyes searching each other for answers. He lifted his head and Rae froze.

Rae growled at herself and jumped up, rushing from the room. She cursed herself softly as she went back to the bunk room for a shower, a cold one. She should never have let things progress to quickly. She'd have to talk with Charles and lay some ground rules, make him understand. Her training would come first.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for those of you not on my tumblr my computer shit the bed. It's dead.  
> Luckily my ps3 can access ao3 and ff.net where I'm transfering this story from.   
> It just takes me longer to copy, post, and edit it here.

"This program is to teach you all hand-to-hand. Every Marine is at least tan belt qualified but expected to further their training after boot." The instructor spoke to them as they sat cross legged in the room. He paced in the middle of the circle they formed, taking time to look at each of them. 

"You'll learn the basics of martial arts and be able to defend yourself. Hand-to-hand is more common than you think, especially on the battle field. You'll run out of clips or your gun will jam. Your only weapon will be your hands, your boot knife, and your brain."

He paused for a moment then untied the belt at his waist. His jacket opened to reveal a large scar that ran across his chest. "This is what happens when you don't use your brain." He turned so everyone could get a look. "I let panic and emotions control me and my guard dropped. A Turian attacked me with his claws and damn near killed me. I will live with this scar to remind me what a loosing your head causes."

He closed his top and retied the belt back across it. "Shepard"

"Sir yes sir!" Rae called out and jumped to her feet.

"At ease soldier. Your report says you had boxing training is that true?"

Rae nodded, "This recruit has won a few championships. Not to brag sir."

He chuckled and waved her over. Bouncing on his feet, he grinned at her. "Go ahead soldier. Attack me with your best combo."

Rae raised a brow but didn't question the order. She cracked her neck and put her hands up, just like coach had trained her. She feigned to the right, then swung with her left followed quickly with her right intending to catch him when he ducked the first punch. He didn't fall for the feign and twirled away from her punches, resulting in her hitting nothing but air. Rae gritted her teeth and took a step closer. Forgetting the feigns Rae stepped into a punch heading right for his unprotected head. The instructor moved at the last minute, grabbed her wrist, and used her momentum to lay her flat on the matt. Rae lost her breath and gasped to regain it. The other recruits chuckled as the instructor held out a hand.

"I used Shepard's strength against her. I will teach you how to defeat your enemy with little to no effort on your part. You will use your enemies' fire against them. But first you must find a calm in yourself." He looked Rae in the eye as he pulled her to his feet. "You must find peace within yourself or the fire will consume you."

\----------

"Your suit seals could be the difference between life and death. One tiny leak could mean and very painful death out in vacuum." Pickard and Gonzales moved through the room, helping the recruits dawn their hard suit. The suits weren't needed in the zero-g room but the instructors felt it best for the recruits to learn with them. "You double check your seals, then have your partner double check them. Never don a suit with out a partner to double check you."

Rae stretched inside her suit, getting use to the weight and restrictive movements. She too moved through the room, helping her squad mates when needed. She had woken up extra early so Pickard could teach her everything about the gear. It had been a lot to learn but Rae felt it was her duty. When everyone had been suited up, Rae snapped her helmet into place and turned her com on. 

"Squad attention!" She called over the mic and watched her squad snap into formation.

"The room is safe," Pickard called out. "So don't panic! There's a course inside and everyone is to run it. Your mag boots won't work as the structure isn't metal so don't depend on them. One slip could result in you barreling into nothingness. Remember control is your friend."

Pickard signaled to the control room and the large door opened up behind her. 

"Forward march!" Rae called out and everyone marched into the room. "Halt march!" The door closed behind them with a hiss and they were alone. The instructors didn't follow them in. This lesson was to be self taught.

Rae felt lighter as the gravity was turned off. She gave the course in front of her a critical look. "Squad at ease. I'll go first, learn from my mistakes."

"Sir yes sir!" The squad yelled out.

Grinning, Rae walked to the beginning of the course adjusting her strength as she went. It was a long process as her first couple steps sent her flying. She changed her gait and used the zero-g to her advantage, taking longer steps. Reaching the course, Rae slid to a stop and regained her balance.

'You're going to treat this like a game aren't you?' Bodie asked, examining the course in front of her. It was the same obstacle course the squad ran everyday. She just didn't have gravity to slow or weigh her down.

"Of course," Rae answered him after turning her microphone off.

'Try not to get hurt.' Bodie cautioned as she pushed off from the ground.

\----------

"Admiral on deck!" Gonzalez yelled and everyone snapped to attention.

"At ease soldier. Consider this an unofficial visit." Hackett waved them off and approached the glass looking over the zero-g room. The recruits were running the course. There was some difficulty but most rookie mistakes were not being made. There was a line of recruits on the far side that had already finished the course. "How many days have they been in the room?"

Holland stood besides the man, her hands behind her back. "One sir. This is their first day inside."

Hackett frowned, "When I was a recruit the instructors threw us in the room with no instruction and no hints."

"That's what we did with this squad sir."

"Then care to explain to me how they're making it through will relative ease?"

"Sir, it's Shepard. The recruit that you and the headmaster recommended. She ran the course three times before allowing her squad to try." Holland pointed out the window to where Rae stood on top the climbing wall, hand extended for a squad mate. "This is her sixth run and she's helping them make it across. She's a natural leader."

Hackett nodded, a smile on his lips. "A friend discovered her on Mindoir."

"The colony that was attacked?"

"Yes. She fought against the Batarians. Saved half the colony and broke the lines for our men." Hackett rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Teach her everything Holland. I've got this feeling she's going to need it."

"Sir yes sir."

\----------

It was qualification time. To advance to the next step, each recruit would need their zero-g certification and their tan belt. Without them the recruit would restart the entire program again and be allowed one last chance to pass. If they failed, they were dropped from the program all together and discharged from the Marines. There was always other branches of the military but they weren't the Marines. The idea was daunting and had kept Rae awake last night. She couldn't imagine herself doing anything else and if she failed….

"You nervous?" Charles asked from besides her, drawing Rae from her thoughts.

"Just a tad," Rae admitted. "Getting my certification was easy but this…" Rae waved toward the gym doors where one of the recruits was being tested. "I wish I could just strap on some gloves and beat the shit out of something."

Charles smiled at her and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Shepard you'll pass. You're the best recruit here and everyone knows it."

Rae shifted on her feet, itching to just run some energy off. "I don't know about that."

"I do." Charles replied and gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Just find your calm Shepard. Remember to breathe and go down swinging."

Rae chuckled and stepped away as the doors opened. Livingston walked out, a tan belt gripped in his hand and a grin on his face. He nodded at them before heading back to the barracks. 

"Wish me luck," Rae replied before slipping through the doors. The martial arts instructor stood inside, his eyes closed. Rae walked closer then stood at the edge of the circle, body straight in attention.

"Relax Shepard. I'm not military remember?" He opened his eyes and beckoned her closer. "To earn your belt you need to show me that you've mastered what I've taught you."

Rae nodded and stepped closer. She loosened her body and fought the urge to go into the boxing posture that had been drilled into her at a young age. "What does this recruit need to do?"

"Fight me." He grinned briefly before attacking. His left hand lashed out and Rae blocked it with her forearm. Her other hand formed a fist and went right to his gut. The instructor anticipated it and stepped out of the way, causing her to stumble forward. His foot lashed out and caught her in the middle of the back. Rae gritted her teeth and rolled away, getting to her feet. He advanced again and she dodged his blow, retaliating with a punch to the face. He grabbed her wrist and used her momentum against her, dropping her to the matt.

"Have you learned nothing Shepard? This isn't a boxing match. Brute force means nothing here." He growled at her.

Rae growled back and jumped to her feet again. This time she advanced. He blocked her blow and she ducked his. She went for his chest and he jumped back, loosing his balance. Spotting her chance, she went in for the kill only to land face first on the mat, his knee in her back.

"You're still thinking like a boxer Shepard. Clear your head." He pushed off her and went to the edge, grabbing a bottle of water.

Rae stayed where she was and closed her eyes. She couldn't fail this. Her breathing slowed as she brought an image up. The sun was setting, throwing colors across the sky. All was quiet except for her breathing. Then a pressure squeezed her hand and lips caressed her cheek. 

'You can do anything Rae.' His voice whispered into her ear and warmth filled her. 

She opened her eyes to find him watching, leaning against the wall and a smile ghosting over his lips. Rae got to her feet and turned back to the instructor. "I'm ready sir."

The man raised a brow but nodded. He put the water down and advanced without further notice. It was a dance, there is no other word for it. She ducked and dived away from every blow. The duo moved around the room, the motion never stopping. Then Rae spotted her opening. Grabbing his wrist she twisted and stepped around him. Her arm was locked around his neck, his arms locked behind his back, and she forced him to his knees.

"I give." He was just able to whisper and coughed when Rae release him. Smiling, he rose slowly to his feet. "That's more like it. I knew you had it in you."

He handed her a belt and raised his hand in salute. Rae snapped to attention and returned it. "Thank you sir."


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you not on my tumblr I apologize for the absence. My computer had shit the bed and there was no reviving it.  
> I have a new computer now so it's happy days.
> 
> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos, and everything else.  
> It really does feed my soul.

"Recruits this is Primary Marksman Instructor Helms. Under her tutelage you will learn how to hold and fire your weapon." Holland yelled from besides their new instructor. The woman stood at ease besides Holland. She had a sour look on her face, as if she didn't want to be here. It was rumored that Helms was the best with a rifle and could hit a fly a thousand yards out.

"Listen to her well recruits. In two weeks you'll go through another qualification to determine if you're ready to advance."

"Sir yes sir." The squad answered. Holland nodded and left them to Helms' control. The woman had them file outside and march to the range on the other side of the base. She instructed them on proper grip and best ways to dampen the recoil when firing the weapon.

"There are four basic firing positions." Helms spoke loudly so they could all hear her. "Each has its merits and its demerits. The first is the standing position. It offers the most mobility but the least stability."

Helms raised her rifle and showed them the proper position. "It allows you to move around easily but you depend on only your muscles to absorb the recoil."

She had them all try the position, moving through the ranks to correct them when needed. Afterwords she moved through the other positions. They perfected each stance, committing them to memory before they were allowed to fire the rifle for the first time.

The first time Rae squeezed the trigger she was instantly brought back to Mindoir. To this day she can still remember the sounds of screams as she fought to save her people.

Rae gritted her teeth against the pain and squeezed the trigger again. The recoil shook her arms but was easy to control in the prone position. With each squeeze her aim got better and better until she was hitting the bulls eye with each squeeze.

"That will do for today." Helms called out and Rae looked up to see the sun setting. She'd been concentrating so hard that she had lost track of time. Shipping her rifle on her back, Rae rose and called her squad to attention. They marched back to the mess hall for dinner.

\----------

Rae placed her water bottle against her head, trying to fend off the head ache that was forming behind her eyes. The squad was sound asleep but she was in the common room reviewing some paper work. Team week was fast approaching and she was expected to schedule activities to be approved by the instructors. She already had several ideas written down but wanted back ups. Groaning, she put the paper down and rubbed her eyes.

"Isn't a little late?" Charles voice caused Rae to jump. She didn't hear him approach and thought she the only one awake. Even her personal ghost had retired for the night.

"What time is it?" Rae asked, turning in her chair to find Charles leaning against the door jam.

"Oh three hundred." He walked over and picked up her discarded paper. "Relay race, paint ball, zero-g ball? Shepard are you planning a five year old’s birthday party?"

Rae snatched the paper from him and shoved it into her folder. "That's classified Lance Corporal."

Charles grunted, "Pulling rank already? You'll make a fine officer."

Rae frowned but let it pass. "Why you up Freeman? Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"I could say the same about you." Charles leaned against the desk. "I went to the latrine and when I came back I noticed your bunk was made. Figured you had another nightmare and went to find you."

Rae dropped her gaze, ashamed. She didn't realize that anyone knew of the nightmares that sometimes woke her up at night. She never remembered them upon waking though and couldn't describe them to her therapist. So she quit telling people about waking up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, her biotics glowing. He was noticing to much and Rae couldn't afford it. "It's none of your concern Freeman. Go back to bed."

Charles growled this time. "What happened to you Raegan?"

She shook her head, not wanting him to get any closer. "I don't know what your talking about Lance Corporal. Return to your bunk."

"No," he slammed his hand on the desk and leaned in close. His gaze matched hers and for the first time Rae noticed that they were steel color. She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat and rose from her seat.

"I gave you an order soldier."

"And I'm telling you to fuck off." Charles answered and closed the distance between them. "It seems the closer I get to you the farther you back away."

"This can't happen." Rae took a step away from him, arms crossing her chest. "There's regulations against it."

"Bull shit." Charles cursed at her, taking another step. "Child of two military parent's remember. There's leeway in the regulations. Try again."

"You're a fellow squad mate Freeman. That's it." Rae cursed at him and turned to leave. He followed behind her and slammed the door shut before she could exit. He kept one hand on it and put all his weight against it so she couldn't open it.

Rae allowed her biotics to glow, fist clenching tight. "Open the door Freeman or you will regret it."

"Not until you tell me the truth. Why won't you let me get close?" He growled into her ear.

She turned around and grabbed his shirt. "Because I want nothing to do with you!"

"Bull shit." He grabbed a fist full of hair and yanked her head back. His lips connected with hers and for the first couple of seconds she didn't react. He thought he had made a mistake but then she came alive. Her hands went to his hair and pulled him closer. He grinned against her lips and pulled back, victory in his eyes. "Tell me you didn't feel anything."

"I felt nothing." Rae spoke slowly, causing Charles to curse violently. He kissed her again, this time using teeth as well. He release the hold on the door to pull her closer, melding their bodies together. His fingers lifted her t-shirt and ghosted across her skin, pulling a moan from her lips. When she melted against him, he pulled away and stepped past her.

"This recruit will be in this recruit's bunk Corporal Shepard." He spat at her and left.

Rae growled but refused to go after him.

\---------

The instructors had started with the lowest rank and worked their way up. Calling everyone down to the range one by one for their rifle qualification. They were expected to hit several targets with the last being five hundred yards away. If they failed, they back tracked two weeks for one last try. Charles left the range with a smile on his face and his rifle on his back. When he glanced at her, Rae looked away and fled onto the range. She had choose to ignore the incident and continue their professional relationship. He hadn't pushed the issue since but she found it harder and harder to look him in the eye.

Rae saluted Holland and Helms, pushing everything to the back of her mind. "Corporal Shepard reporting for qualification Sir."

"At ease," Holland waved her over. "You'll start at the far end, fire one shot, then work your way closer. Each target get's one chance. You can pick your stance. Understood?"

"Sir yes sir!" Rae hurried to the first target and unshipped her weapon. She knelt on one knee and raised lifted her sights. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath then fired her first shot. Rae moved to the next and the next, repeating the process with each one. Getting to the last target, Rae wavered a bit at the distance. She rubbed her eyes and targeted again. This time she pictured a Batarian harassing one of her colonists and pulled the trigger. The bullet flew true and hit the target in the middle.

She rose to her feet and stood at ease while Holland and Helms recorded information into their omni tools.

"Good job Shepard, you pass." Holland rose from her seat and saluted her. Rae returned the salute before leaving the range, a weight lifted from her shoulders.

\-----------

Eight weeks were gone. The recruits had made it past the halfway point and they could all smell home. Rumor was the last couple of weeks were the worst, but none of them cared. The tailor had been sent in to take their measurements for their uniforms. They wouldn't see them until graduation but it was a minor victory to be fitted for them. Rae had decided to forgo the skirt and got fitted for slacks instead.

"Ye'd look fine in e skirt Dearie. Don't know why ye want to go hidin' them legs fer." The seamstress tsked as she wrote her measurements down.

Rae could only grin in response as she raised her arm to chest level. "I'm not here to look pretty Ma'am. I'm here to fight."

"Of course ye are. Doesna mean ye can't look pretty doin' it." The woman chuckled and waved her off. "All done Dearie."

"Thank you Ma'am." Rae saluted her, despite the woman's protests before leaving. She joined up with her squad outside and lined up in attention. Gonzales had stood guard and nodded approvingly.

"Recruits, you're dismissed for the day. We have a surprise for you tomorrow so be up and ready at first bell!"

"Sir yes sir!" Everyone saluted before they broke ranks and headed their separate ways. Rae broke away and headed for Holland's office. She had to speak to the woman about tomorrow's activities and Holland was expecting her.

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

"Recruits welcome to Team Week." Pickard announced. "For the next couple days you'll be broken up into smaller teams and assigned tasks to strengthen your team work. But first your Corporal has arranged a little treat for you guys. Shepard!"

Rae stepped forward, saluting Pickard before taking his spot. She grinned at her squad. "We're having a little field day. But not any field day. Marines stationed here on base are competing against us. They intend to show us what being a Marine truly means but we will be the ones that show them. For weeks we've trained, for weeks we've sweated and bleed and now is our moment. Recruits we will rise up and show that we are the best damn squad to make it through boot. OOH-RAH!"

"OOH-RAH!"

Rae grinned. "Platoon, report to the mess for breakfast. Platoon leaders, stay behind."

"Squad dismissed!" Pickard commanded and departed for the mess. Everyone but the leaders left, happy to get some chow. The leaders stood at attention and awaited her orders. "At ease, we're equals today."

The three of them relaxed and moved in closer. Rae pulled some papers from her pocket and handed them each one. "Here's a list of today's activities. Each recruit must participate in at least one event and each event must have a group of three or four. Today is a test of your leadership more than anything. You must choose from your platoons who you think will work best."

"Do we have to stay within our platoons?" Merchant grunted as he examined his list. "It says here that during the treasure hunt they've got to remain undetected and Livingston would be perfect but Diana from my platoon would also work well."

Rae nodded, "The squad is a whole today. As long as their corresponding platoon leader agrees with you they can work together in a team. Freeman do you agree with him?"

Charles grunted in agreement before turning to Washington. "McDonald is a fast runner and strong, he'd be perfect for the last leg of the relay race."

Washington grinned, "And Baker is light on her feet, perfect for the first leg."

"Get together with one another during breakfast and get the teams together."

"What about you Shepard?" Merchant asked, looking up from his paper. "You're not participating?"

Rae grinned wide, teeth flashing. "I'm heading the paint ball team. Merchant I'll need Wright. Washington, Evans. And Freeman, I'll need you."

\------------

The recruits had pulled the offset and won the treasure hunt. Although the Marines had home ground and knew the best locations to find the objects Livingston was able to hide in the shadows and Diana grew up on Earth with sticky fingers. Combined with Mitchel’s fast talking the three of them were able to steal and charm all of the items before midday meal. The recruits won the relay race as well, even if it was only by inches. It had taken McDonald a while to switch all the gear from the third runner onto his back. The Marines won the tug-o-war and was currently winning the drill contest.

Rae stood at the back of the group with her arms crossed. The Marines had used their drill team for the contest and she had considered calling them out on it. The team that the platoon leaders had put together had practiced all morning to give their competitors a run for their money. But it wasn't enough, the Marines were to much in sync and had years of routines available. Rifles went flying and the Marines did a round about before catching them and snapping into attention. Rae decided to give them this one.

Turning from the competition, Rae wondered over to where camps were being quickly built. Each team needed to set up a ten person tent, start a fire, retrieve water enough to last three days, and other various tasks. The team that completed it the quickest and most efficiently would win the event. The recruits were winning so far but the Marines were shortening the gap.

Her event was due to start soon so she headed for the barracks. Rules were similar to the game of man hunt she used to play except that once you were hit you were down. Each team had four players and their objective was to eliminate the enemy before they got them. Simple enough, except they'd be in an old air craft hanger filled with shipping crates, fashioned like a maze.

Rae entered the room to find her team waiting for her, eying the boxes in the middle of the room. "Good our gear arrived." She pulled the knife from her boot and tore the boxes open, revealing the gear they needed. "You guys ever play paint ball before."

Wright nodded and grabbed the long rifle from the box, checking its load mechanism. "Where did you get this baby?" He stroked the rifle intimately, causing Rae to chuckle.

"I've seen your scores Wright. You were able to hit the five hundred mark from standing position without a second thought. Figured you'd enjoy the role of our sniper."

"You thought right Corporal." His teeth flashed as he grabbed the rest of his gear.

Rae pulled out two paint knives and turned to Evans, presenting them to her. "I had a friend that could do wicked things with these and never thought I'd meet her rival. Then I watched you during martial arts training. I have a pistol for you as well, but thought you'd deal the best damage with these."

The girl took the knives and weighed them in her hands. "These will do."

Rae turned to Charles and found him standing at ease, eyes forward. "What role will this recruit play Corporal?"

Rae winced at his tone, missing the carefree smile he use to give her. "Wright, Evans give Freeman and me a minute."

The two gathered up their gear and left the room, giving the two of them confused looks. When the door and closed, Rae sighed and sat down in one of the chairs. "There's no need to be so formal today Freeman. As I said, today we are equals."

"You made it evident that all you want is to be my superior officer Sir." Charles answered.

"God damn it Freeman what do you want from me?"

Charles looked down at her, "How about the truth? Not the lie you tell yourself and everyone else. I want to know the real Raegan."

She frowned and stood from her chair, walking away from him. "You have no clue what you're asking."

He walked over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Tell me."

"Everyone I've cared about dies." She blurted out. "You know where I come from and I'm sure you know about the attack. What I didn't tell you is I was there at ground zero. I fought the Batarians, fought for my family, my friends and I failed. Everyone that I lo…" Rae choked on the word.

"Anyone that gets close to me dies Freeman." She looked into his eyes, mouth setting into a firm line. "Yes, I admit there's something here but it can't be. If something were to happen to you."

He pulled her into a hug, holding her tight. "I'm a Marine Raegan. They're training me to be the best."

He pulled away slightly and smiled at her. "Tell me what you need me to do."

Rae nodded and pulled from his embrace. She went back to the equipment and pulled a rifle from the box. Tossing it to him, she gave him a nod. "I need you to watch my back, be my voice of reason. Keep me out of trouble."

\---------------

The lights had been turned off, only emergency lighting giving a dull glow. Crates had been arranged through out the hanger, forming a maze full of dead ends and long corridors. Rae studied what she could see from on top one of the crates with a frown. There was more than a few choke points where their opponents could be laying in wait. Emerald eyes darted from corner to corner, looking for anything she could use to their advantage.

'Put Wright as high as you can. Maybe have him strap himself to the roof.' Bodie spoke beside her, pointing to the rafters above them.

Rae nodded before climbing back down. She studied her team with a critical eye, weighing their strengths and weaknesses. All of them had been trained how to fire rifles, all put hours upon hours into honing their skills. However she was the only one with live fire experience. Wright had played the game growing up on his colony but their opponents were a well oiled team. They'd have to be cunning to win this.

"Wright," Rae turned toward him then pointed to the east corner. "Get your ass up there and strap in. Don't move from that spot. You're my eye in the sky. Don't give your position away unless is absolutely necessary. Report any movement."

"Sir yes sir!" Wright saluted her then jogged off, climbing up the side of the building.

"Evans, you're recon. Stay a yard out circling around Freeman and I. Don't go charging in. Radio any contact with three clicks, pause, then two. I'll answer with one click, pause, then three clicks."

"Freeman," Rae turned to him. "You're on my six. We're search and destroy. Radio silence unless needed from here on out. Let's not give our position away."

"Sir yes sir." Evans and Charles called out, dropping into their positions. Evans slid through the shadows, entering the maze.

"You've done this before." Charles whispered to her, checking that his rifle was loaded and ready.

Rae grinned at him. "You have no idea."

Lowering her body into a crouch, she headed in the direction Evans went in. She moved forward slowly, senses on high alert. Her and Charles took turns moving down the corridor, checking corners and hidey holes. The deeper they went the darker it got, the dull emergency lighting was unable to pierce the shadows. Rae refused to turn on her flashlight as it would give away her position as if she'd sent up a flare.

"In position Corporal." Wright's voice crackled over the coms. "I've got movement on the north side. To dark to tell numbers or what they're doing."

Rae nodded, even though she knew he probably couldn't see her, and turned a corner to head north. It was several minutes later when Evans gave her signal. She responded back and held her fist up to halt Charles. They knelt down in the shadows, rifles pointed opposite directions to cover each other. Evans slid from the shadows and knelt besides Rae. "We've got one gunman up ahead. He appears to be alone but he's staying in the dead end, playing at being ignorant."

"A trap then?" Rae asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"Your orders?" Charles asked quietly, not looking up from his sights.

'You could spring the trap.' Bodie called out from above them. 'They're expecting you to come right through the single entrance.'

Rae looked up at him and grinned. "I've never done the expected."

"Sir?" Evans raised a brow then followed Rae's eye sight.

"We're going up. Get your asses on top of the crates. Move quietly." Rae shipped her rifle, backed up and ran at the crate. She pushed off it and grabbed the top of the one across it. Lifting herself up, she unshipped her rifle and peered over the edge at them. "Move it."

The two of them blinked at her, stunned at how quickly she had climbed up. Charles shipped his rifle and motioned to Evans, cupping his hands. The girl ran at him, placed her foot in his hands, and was pushed up. Rae caught her hand and hauled her up. Charles touched his shoulder to the sides of his head and backed up. Gritting his teeth, he copied Rae. He grunted as his chest collided with the crate, his fingers just barely grabbing the top of the crate. Evans and Rae both grabbed an arm and pulled him up, trying to suppress the grins on their faces.

"Haha very funny," He grumbled and stood up. "Can we get this over with?"

"Follow me." Rae turned north, stepping lightly. They moved silently until Evans tapped her shoulder, signally that the soldier was just a few feet away. Getting down low, Rae inched closer until she could spot the man. He paced the large opening, weapon lax at his side. There was only one opening, a small corridor that could only fit one of them through at a time. This was obviously a trap but what was the bullet?

"Guys they're not going to fall for it." The soldier called out, scratching the back of his neck. "Rumor says their leader isn't as green as she seems."

Rae thought he was talking over their coms but something moved in the shadows. Bright white flashed as it smiled and a black mass separated from the wall. "Their recruits soldier. Haven't even graduated their field training. Stop your bitching and start making some noise."

Another black mass separated from the wall as well, a chuckle coming from its chest. "Quinn's just nervous. He's afraid he's going to get his ass kicked. Come on little piggy squeal for us."

Quinn, the bait, growled and punched the man in the shoulder. "Let's just go hunt them down. I want to watch the Zero-g Ball match."

"Silence all of you!" The fourth mass lifted from the far corner. "Back into your positions. We're sticking to the plan."

Rae grinned wide and inched away from the edge. With some quick hand signals, Rae gave her instructions then whispered into her mic. "Wright, can you take out the lone man?"

"Well I don't know sir. It's an awful difficult shot. He's only standing out in the middle of no where with no protection." Wright spoke with a laugh in his voice.

"Wright," Rae growled then heard a cry of pain behind her.

"Done sir, bogey down."

Shaking her head, Rae clicked her coms and watched Evans drop down her knife flashing against one of the dark shapes. A gun fired and caught Evans in the side but the woman provided the distraction her and Charles needed. The two of them dropped, rifled targeting the last two men. It was done in seconds.

The lights turned on and a voice came over the speakers. "Team Shepard wins."

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

Alarms filled the room and Rae shot out of her bed. Gonzales was yelling at them, even yanking some of the slow ones out of bed. "Wake up, gear up. Leave nothing behind! Johnson get out of my bunk. Five minutes recruits. Go."

Rae quickly dressed in her gear and grabbed her pack. She filled it with everything in her trunk then proceeded to help others. She left her platoon's room and moved to the others, offering aid where needed. Her gear was heavy and her eyes were gritty with sleep, but she'd been expecting this. The instructors had been too nice lately and the end of their training was fast approaching. When the last person had filed out, she went outside and fell into line.

"Platoons, sound off!" Rae yelled then listened as each leader called for attention.

Holland approached them, arms tucked behind her back. She grinned, "Welcome to the crucible recruits. For the next fifty-four hours you will be put through hell in back in one final test. Only the best of you will make it. Rank had no meaning here. Your platoons will be broken up and you will be reassigned team mates. Look around you recruits, for when you return you will be Marines. Until then.."

He waved he hands and they descended. New instructors had arrived and began to break them up into groups of three. "May God be on your side."

Confusion reigned for a few minutes as the recruits were yelled at and shoved into position. Evans, Wright, and Freeman stood at attention besides her as their instructor gave them one last inspection.

"You will refer to me as Drill Instructor. Understood?"

"Sir yes sir!"

"You've got ten minutes. Here's your water canisters. Supply is over there." He pointed to a station set up at the edge of the parking lot. "Go through your gear. Decide what you don't need and get rid of it then re-supply. Go"

"Sir yes sir!" The four of them ran for the tent, taking their packs off as they went. Rae opened her pack and pulled everything out. She put her combat knife in her boot and hooked her canteen on her hip. She repacked her pack with her flashlight, poncho, first aid, water purifier, shovel, and fire starting kit. She then approached the table and received her various gear they might need.

"Name?" One of the attendants asked, checking her clipboard.

"Shepard, Raegan."

The attendant reached behind her and grabbed two MRE's and two power bars. "Biotic, double rations and power bars. You are allowed to eat the power bars when needed but only get two at each re-supply. NEXT."

Rae grabbed her food and rejoined her crew with a few minutes to spare. They all filled their canteens and the water canisters, drinking their fill now. They took stock of everything and distributed the weight between them. Charles and Wright each took a canister while Rae and Evans carried their rifles. They returned to formation and waited for orders. They didn't wait long as full march was called and their day began.

\----------

A six mile march later the squad arrived to their new hell. Stations and obstacle courses littered the field, testifying to what lay ahead of them. They were assigned a small ten by ten square where they could keep their gear and told to set up camp. They then reported for the first event of the day.

Water and ammunition waiting for pick up on the other side. They only had to go through a combat assault course that had everything from barbed wire, trenches, and even a twenty foot wall. They were given one hour to reach the other side or they'd have to go without for the day.

Rae crawled through the mud, razor sharp wire just inches above her. She gritted her teeth and pushed herself to the other side, stopping only long enough to help her teammates up. She ten ran up ten steps, leapt, grabbed a rope, and swung across a mud pit to the other side. Sweat coated her brow as her stomach grumbled, demanding sustenance. The two energy bars in her pocket called to her but she refused to give in. She'd gone three days with out food before, a couple of hours wouldn't hurt her.

"Freeman lift!" She called out as he reached the wall. He pivoted, linked his hands, and threw her up as she stepped into his hands. Rae pulled herself up and sat on the top, hand extended to help Evans up and over. Charles grunted and gave Wright a push up. Rae held out her hand and, with Wright's help, hauled Charles up and over the wall. They all dropped down, ignoring the rope, and rolled to absorb the hit. They balanced for twenty yards on a log then hit the climbing ropes. They each climbed to the top and ran a bell before dropping down. They were the first to the other side.

"Now take it all back!" Their instructor yelled at them and handed them their gear.

"Sir yes sir!" They called and went back to the course, carrying the heavy water and ammunition as they took the course backwards.

\----------

"At least she's light." Wright laughed as they moved through the standard course carrying Evans on a stretcher.

The woman in question chuckled. "Well thank you Wright. Though I am enjoying the rest."

They'd been going at it nonstop all day. Their instructor had put them through challenge after challenge. Rae's muscles ached and screamed over the abuse. They'd just finished the leadership reaction course of with they had to solve several puzzles then participate in a pugil stick bout. They put the girl down and Charles climbed to the top of the twenty foot wall, balancing on top. Wright lifted the ammunition boxes and tossed them up to him. Charles dropped them over the wall then sat on the edge as Rae and Wright secured the harness on Evans's stretcher.

"Next time I'm the injured soldier." Rae grumbled and pulled the knot tight.

Charles laughed, "Stop kidding Shepard. Even if you were injured we'd never strap you to a stretcher. You could have lost a leg and still insisted on hopping yourself back to evac."

"That's only because I'm not some pussy ass wimp." She waved at him and Charles began to pull the girl up while Rae and Wright climbed up behind her. They reached the top then worked together to slowly lower her to the other side before dropping down. Rae picked up the ammunition cases and continued over and under the beams ahead of her.

They reached the other side and presented their injured combatant to the medic. They received their orders and proceeded to the next challenge. Their martial arts instructor waited for them and gave their orders. They got into their stance and started on reviewing their strikes one by one.

The day ended with a five mile three hour slow march. They collapsed in their camp, devoured their MRE's, and went right to sleep. They were reawaken four hours later and told to re-supply, forced through the combat assault course all over again to retrieve their water and food.

\-----------------

The old communication tower was eighteen stories and didn't have an elevator. There were reports of a wounded soldier on the top floor, trying to hold back enemy combatants. They were assigned to retrieve the soldier and eliminate any enemies encountered on the way. Rae lead the group, rifle raised and eyes alert. Wright was to her back left, watching their left flank, Evans was to her back right, watching their right flank, and Charles brought up the rear. They were half way up when they encountered a problem. The door to the next floor was chained shut with the chain on the other side.

Rae cursed and gave the door another kick. "Looks like we have to go back one floor and take another route. And ideas?"

"The floor below us connects with a fire escape that goes up another three stories." Evans offered and took a swig from her canteen.

Rae glanced at her watch and found their time limit quickly approaching. "Let's go then."

They hurried down the flight then took cover by the door. Rae gave her instructions then eased the door open. Wright hurried in and fired three shots before calling clear. They followed behind him to find three targets flat on the ground. Rae took lead once again and made her way through the hallway. They checked the offices along the way, finding a few hold outs along the way. They found the window and Rae peeked out to check the ladder.

"It's a one person ladder, so we have to stay alert. Stop at each window, check it before continuing. We're taking this as high as we can."

Rae shipped her rifle onto her back and climbed out. She went up and few feet then pulled out her pistol as she approached the first window. She checked the room just beyond the glass before continuing. Evans followed right behind her, repeating the process when she reached the window as well. Behind her came Wright then Charles. When they reached the last floor, Rae looked over the ledge and quickly took aim. She squeezed her trigger and took out the first target. She rolled into the room and slashed at the next with her knife. Evans climbed into the room and pulled her rifle out to take out the last target. There was only two flights left but Rae had a feeling it would be crawling with combatants.

Her intuition had been correct as they fought through the last two floors. It had ended when they'd taken out the last four combatants in front of their objective's door. Wright hacked the security and Rae announced herself before entering, rifle extended to her side. Evans patched him up and Charles lifted the man onto his shoulders. They climbed to the roof and Rae spread flares around them before jumping onto the coms.

"This is red fox five for command. Come in command."

"This is command for red fox five."

"Command objective has been retrieved and we're marked with green. I repeat objective has been retrieved and we're marked with green."

"Good job Shepard. Put the dummy back where you found it and report to the range."

"Sir yes sir." Rae answered her instructor and looked toward the base. The sun was just setting in the horizon but their day wasn't done yet. "Let's go team."

\----------

The moon didn't even have mercy on them, deciding to go dark. They had no light source and had to traverse the combat assault course to retrieve more water and dinner. Rae cursed softly as she almost lost her footing on the balance beam for the tenth time. The water canister was heavy in her arms but she got the light end of the deal. Their team, having always gotten the highest scores, was tasked with retrieving the instructors water and meals as well. Wright and Charles both carried two water canisters and Evans had a pack weighted down with the MRE's.

"We're almost done." Rae tried to encourage her team. "Then we get to sleep."

"On the rock hard sleeping mats." Wright cursed behind her and sludge through the mud. He had decided to forge the beams and force his way through the muck instead. "What I wouldn't give for a medium rare steak and a warm feather bed."

"I'll forgo the steak for a cold beer." Charles grumbled and took another careful step forward.

"Ha! You men know nothing." Evans laughed and jumped from the beam to the ground. "Give me the warm plush body of a lovely female to pay me lavish lavish attention."

She grinned as the two men stopped in their tracks, mouth gaped open. "What? Didn't know that about me?" She teased and winked at them before continuing to the next obstacle.

Rae couldn't help but burst out laughing. The look on the guys faces had to be precious. It was a pity she couldn't see them. "Come on boys, we're almost done."

\------------

"Pack up. We're marching out!" Their instructor woke them after a short four hour sleep. They all rose, groaning as their muscles screamed at them. They packed their gear, drank plenty of water, and fell into formation. Holland made her first appearance since announcing their hell and patrolled the ranks.

"Forward march!" She called, "Double time!"

"Sir yes sir!"

Rae pushed past the pain and fell into a rhythm. The four of them took turns at resting their eyes and allowing each other to guide them. They couldn't fall completely asleep but it allowed for a moments rest. A cadence was called out and the recruits responded. When the ground turned into a steep incline, they used each other to push them along. Exhausted on their feet they didn't notice the passing of time nor the passing of the miles. Nine miles later a halt march was called.

"ATTENTION!"

Rae snapped to attention. Silence washed over them as the sun rose. Colors splashed over the sky and the light illuminated the most beautiful sight any of them had ever seen. In front of them stood several large tables filled to the brim with food. Steak, eggs, hash browns, pancakes, waffles… any breakfast item you could ever imagine lined the table. Everyone swallowed, trying to control the copious amount of saliva filling their mouths.

Holland stood in front of them, a smile on her face. "Good Morning Marines!"

An energy passed through them as realization hit. They'd made it. The crucible was over and they were now officially Marines.

"Good Morning Sir!" They all called back, gaining a second wind. The other instructors filed through the ranks, pinning their Eagle, Globe, and Anchor to their uniforms, pride in their eyes.

"Be proud soldiers. You've gone through one of the hardest training programs the Alliance has to offer. Only the N7 training is considered tougher than this. You are no longer recruits and can no longer refer yourself as so. You all have a name now, use it proudly. Now are you hungry?"

"Sir yes sir!"

"I'm not to sure about that. I said are you hungry?"

"SIR YES SIR!"

Holland nodded. "This is a warriors breakfast and you are all warriors. Come and get it boys."

Cheers went up and everyone fell upon the food.

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything is going to start to get a little time skippy after this chapter. Just going to hit the important parts before the next book.  
> As a treat to you guys I'm going to knock the rest of the chapters out tonight.

Even though they were Marines they still had a couple days left of boot. There was family day, the final inspection, and graduation. They were in the barracks now, working on putting ribbons and patches on their dress uniform. They had final inspection today as well as their graduation pictures. Rae lined her new rank patches on her sleeve before pressing the iron to it. The glue melted instantly, not taking long to adhere to the fabric. She removed the iron and passed it onto the next Marine before returning to her bunk. She still had to polish all the buttons, place her qualification bar, and her Marine insignia.

"Corporal Shepard, report to Senior Drill Instructor Holland's office!" The order came over the speaker system. Rae hung her jacket then hurried out. She knocked on the office door and awaited summons before entering. She stood at attention and saluted Holland.

"At ease soldier. Have a seat." The woman waved toward one of the chairs that sat across from her. Rae nodded and settled into the chair, keeping her back straight.

Holland smiled then slid a blue velvet box across her desk. "This arrived for you today with a letter of explanation from Commander David Anderson."

Rae picked the box up and opened it to reveal her medal of valor.

"He explains that you earned that medal a couple years back for services for the Alliance." Holland sat forward, her elbows resting on her desk and fingers laced together. "This is a story I would like to hear."

"There's not much to tell sir." Rae spoke softly and closed the lid, placing the box on her lap.

"Entertain me anyways. Let's say curiosity killed the cat."

Rae smiled slightly then took a deep breath. "I'm sure my files tell you how I was born and raised on Mindoir. " Rae waited until Holland nodded before continuing. "Remember when the SSV Gravely crashed on the planet?"

Holland frowned, "That was about four years ago. You'd have been fourteen or fifteen then."

Rae nodded, "Fourteen sir. I was at the port when the Gravely landed. My brother was on board and I couldn't just stand around and wait. I ran into the burning mass of metal looking for him. I didn't find him in time, he died in engineering, a piece of metal through his chest. I did save several other soldiers, dragged them to safety on a loose piece of metal and wiring."

"That took a lot of courage."

"I was being foolish sir. I ran in without a plan. My ankle was broke, I was concussed and various other injuries. The price for my foolishness was my brother's life and my family's love." Rae stood from her chair and begun to pace. She felt like she was back at the academy being questioned by the shrink that was forced on her. "Is there anything else sir?"

"Yes," Holland opened a draw and took out a folder. Opening it, she pulled some papers out and read out loud. "Shepard, Raegan Cyrene age sixteen female. Civilian fought against Batarian invaders, rounding up civilians in town hall. Civilian then contacted Commander Anderson with distress call via extranet video call. Alliance mobilized with eta of seventy hours. Despite shoulder injury, Shepard infiltrated enemy base, commandeered explosives, and blew enemy bunker providing Alliance with needed distraction to break enemy lines." Holland looked up from the paper. "I'm sure I don't need the rest of the report. It notes here that you were also recommended for a second medal of valor but you refused."

"I couldn't accept for Mindoir, I fail so many. To many." Rae growled, her fists clenching and unclenching.

"Shepard, I also have here four letters of recommendation for Officer Candidacy. You only need one more to get it." Holland stood from her desk and circled around to stand in front of her. "I've read the reports and I've watched you here at boot. You're a natural leader Shepard. People mass behind you and look to you for guidance. But before I give you that final letter, why do you want to be a Marine?"

Rae stopped and looked at Holland, "My brother Special Engineer Brandon Shepard. I want the Shepard name to be a beacon, for people to hear it and know I'm fighting for their freedom. My brother wanted to help people, I want to save people. I know I can't save them all, my shrink covered that over and over. But I can and will save some of them. I will fight until I die a warriors death on the field defending humanities freedoms."

Holland smiled then, "You know what this means don't you?" She returned to her desk and added a new paper to the folder.

Rae shook her head, "No sir."

"This means another twenty-six weeks of training." Holland laughed at Rae's face suddenly turning sour. "Don't look to sad Shepard. After your leave you'll start your work on becoming and officer in the Alliance Marines. Dismissed Shepard."

\--------------

They were all dressed in their service uniforms marching toward an old airplane hanger. They could hear music as a band played cadence inside, entertaining the guests. Rae led the march, her voice yelling loud and clear.

"My mama can't you see!" The squad behind her repeated the line.

"What this Corps has done for me!" She called again as they entered the hanger. The squad repeated, their voices echoing in the woods.

"Put me in a barber chair;" The cheering started from the stands.

"Snip snap and I had no hair. And if I die in a combat zone. Box me up and ship me home!"

They were all in the hanger. They rehearsed this the day before, deciding to give the families a show. They continued with the drill, doing it without command.

"Put me in a set of dress blues, Comb my hair and shine my shoes! Pin my medals upon my chest! Tell my mama I did my best!" They all turned to the crowd, hands up in a salute.

"My mama don't you cry; Marine Corps motto is do or die."

Their voices echoed through the hanger as they went to parade rest. Rae marched to the front and did an about face to face the crowd. "Corporal Shepard presenting Marine Squad Alpha Six Eight One."

She turned back to her squad. "Platoons Sound off!"

Merchant, Washington, and Freeman all called their Platoons to attention.

"Platoons, by orders of Senior Instructor Holland you are dismissed for ten hours of rec time with your family. Report at eighteen hundred for dinner in the mess." She saluted them. "Marines dismiss."

"Sir yes sir!" They called out before breaking rank to find their families. Even the ones from Earth's darkest streets had "cousins" visiting them. Rae went to the entrance and watched the reunion with a sad smile on her face. She was happy for them but jealous at the same time.

'I've been here the entire time Rae.' Bodie spoke up besides her, watching the madness.

"I know," Rae spoke softly before turning to leave. "But it's not the same."

\------------------

Rae had retired to the barracks common room. She knew the squad would show up there sooner or later to show their families, but she had the building to herself for now. She had found an old strategy game in the cupboard and was playing against the VI. She rubbed her hands together as she calculated the possible locations of her enemy's resources. She studied the board intently, emerald eyes darting from one side to the other as she searched for a weakness.

"D-five." She spoke and listened to the sound effects only to receive a buzzer in denial. Cursing, Rae watched the VI hit her submarine for the second time. She was for sure the damn thing's patrol boat would've been lurking in that area. It was the only ship the VI had left and Rae couldn't find it.

"Shepard." Rae jumped up, went into attention, and was halfway to saluting before she realized it was Charles that called her name. She had assumed it was one of the DI's and weeks of drill had instituted a quick response.

He smiled at her and waved a gray haired woman closer. "Shepard I want you to meet my mother, Captain Carole Freeman. Mom, this is Corporal Raegan Shepard."

Rae went to salute her only to have the woman wave her off and offer a hand instead. "None of that child. Am I in uniform? No? Then I'm just Carole."

Rae smiled at her and shook her hand. "Then I insist you call me Rae."

"You're not how I imagined you. My boy usually goes for the ditsy ones." She chuckled while Charles sputtered.

Rae felt the blush coming and took a deep breath trying to keep it at bay. "Thank you… I think."

"Mother.." Charles growled under his breath only to have to woman cuff his ear.

"Don't you take that tone with me boy. I'm still your mother, Marine or no Marine." Carole turned back to Rae and offered her a smile. "So Rae, why you cooped up in here? No family?"

Rae shook her head. "I lost them all in Mindoir."

"You're that Raegan Shepard! I heard what you did child and let me say what a true honor it is to meet you. You saved a lot of lives that day child, my husband's included. He was on the ground team when the bunker blew, giving his team a much needed break. Thank you so much." The woman rushed forward and hugged her, tears in her eyes.

Rae looked to Charles for help only to receive a puzzled look. He shook himself from his stupor and stepped forward to peel his mother off her. Carole wiped her cheeks and offered a small smile. "I'm so sorry. I just get so overwhelmed lately. I'm getting old."

"More experienced I would say," Rae straightened her uniform and smiled back, still a little overwhelmed. She'd been thanked before but never with so much emotion before.

Carole let out a short laugh. "Rae I insist you join my boy and me for family day."

"I wouldn't want…." Rae stopped at Carole's look, knowing there was no winning the argument. "Yes ma'am, just let me put this game away."

"I'm going to show mom the bunks and we'll grab you on the way back." Charles nodded at her, taking his mother's arm.

Rae turned back to her game. "B-ten." She was awarded with a chime and half of her opponent's boat. She grinned and packed the game away.

\--------------

Ten glorious days of leisure lay ahead of her. Ten days have having no commitment and no promises. At least that had been the plan. Carole Freeman had insisted she stay with them in the family's vacation home in Florida. They had a small two bedroom on the coast in the southern part of the state. Charles had been sent to the den to sleep on the pull out while Rae had been given his room. She had protested but Carole was a hard woman to argue with. Rae now stood on the porch, watching the sun rise. Leaning against the railing she took a deep breath and considered going for a run.

"I tried telling myself that we could sleep in, but my body told me to get up before the DI's came in and started yelling." Charles laughed behind her when he emerged from the house.

Rae turned and smiled at him. "I was laying in bed for an hour telling myself the same thing when I finally came out."

He walked over besides her, leaning against the railing as well. "I'm sorry for my mother, she can be a very stubborn woman when she set her mind to something."

"It's okay Free… Charles." She turned back to the sunrise and sighed.

Charles grinned at her, teeth flashing and eyes sparkling in amusement. He moved closer, surrounding her body with his. Hands were locked on the railing as he looked into her eyes. "Now isn't this every Marine's fantasy. A beautiful woman all to himself. The beach a few feet away and she's wearing nothing but regulation t-shirt and boxers."

Rae chuckled and put her hand on his chest, pushing him back a step. "What you don't want your woman wearing a small black teddy with sex tussled hair?"

He shook his head and grabbed her hands, pulling them up to his lips. "Why would I? When I can have myself a woman that can throw me over her shoulders and carry me off to bed?" He chuckled softly as he brushed his lips against her knuckles. "I want you Raegan. I have since you sat across me at mess."

"Charles…" She warned him, ignoring the chill that ran down her spine at his words. Pulling from his grasp, she retreated to the other side of the porch. She hugged herself around the middle, trying to hold back the memories that hung on the fringes of her mind. "People that care for me get hurt remember?"

He walked over and hugged her from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder. "And I'm a Marine remember. I'm a hard son of a bitch to kill." He sighed as she stood rigid in his arms. "Look, we'll watch the sun rise, grab some breakfast, then head into town so you can get some clothes. Unless you want to wear your uniform or PT gear for your entire leave."

Rae shook he head and tried to relax. "Okay but you're cooking.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Carole Freeman face reference: http://brittsis.tumblr.com/post/90312747754/detailgestures-cindy-joseph


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter is short. Originally this was written for ff.net back when they were threatening to delete explicit work. So this was a short chapter dedicated to just the mature content. Then it doesn't go too explicit but enjoy anyways.

He was trying to romance her, there was no other explanation. She'd open the bedroom door to find a flower waiting for her or she'd go in the kitchen to find the table set for two. They ran together in the morning and walked the beach at night. He even took her dancing once. It had cost them though, Rae had stepped on his foot more than once. During all this she avoided any intimacy, determined to keep the relationship friendly. It was their last night on leave. Charles was being shipped to a colony on guard duty and she was going to Officer Candidacy Class. They'd be separated and everything would go back to normal.

They entered the bar and was immediately given drinks on the house. The owner was an old friend of Charles's and wanted to treat humanities newest soldiers. Charles flitted about the room while Rae stayed at the bar, chatting with the owner. She found out some juicy details about Charles from when he was a kid and told a few stories from boot. It was getting late when Rae switched to coffee and began to look around for her companion. She found him on the dance floor and her gut clenched. He had his arm around some woman and was whispering in her ear while they danced. She watched as the woman bat her eye lashes and laughed.

Disgusted, she put some credits down and waved to the owner. "I'm heading out Ricky."

"Without Charles?" He asked and pushed the credits back toward her. "Drinks were on the house."

Rae stole another look at the couple on the dance floor before picking her credits back up. "Yeah without Charles. Let him know I went home."

"You got it. Good luck out there Raegan."

"Thanks." Rae pulled her jacket on and pushed out of the bar.

'I told you he was bad news.' Bodie spoke, leaning against the side of the building. He pushed off the wall and followed behind her.

"Shut up Bodie." Rae growled and hurried her pace.

'What hurts more Rae?' He jogged ahead of her and spun around to look at her. 'The fact that I was right or that you were beginning to fall for him?'

She stopped, her hear pounding with the truth. "Go away." She closed her eyes tight and counted to ten.

'You talking to me or you're feelings?' He circled around her and Rae could almost feel the air stir where his ghost stood.

"I said leave me alone!" She spun and lashed out, her first colliding with a solid mass. Rae opened her eyes in surprise to find Charles stumbling back and rubbing his jaw.

"God damn you have a mean right hook." He cursed. "What was that for?"

"Nothing." She spat at him and strode away.

"Raegan wait.." He jogged up and grabbed her hand. "What's wrong? And don't say nothing."

"What happened Freeman? Did the blonde kick you out?" She watched as his face fell. "That's right I saw you on the dance floor did you really think I wouldn't notice?"

"I wasn't trying to hide anything." He let go of her and rubbed his head hard. "You expressed over and over again that you want to be friends."

"So you jump right into someone else bed? Had an itch? Well fuck you!"

She could feel her temper rising and quickly. Deciding it was for the best, she turned and ran from him. She'd go back to the house, pack her stuff, and find a hotel to spend her last night. He caught up with her though, tackling her in the sand on the beach. She struggled against him, throwing him a couple times. Finally his weight won the fight and he pinned her.

"Would you stop for one fucking second" He fought to regain his breath as she cursed at him. She heaved up and collided her head with his. He cursed but didn't waiver in his grip. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"We already covered this Freeman. Go back to the bar, have a grand old time. I don't care!"

"Liar!" He yelled at her and tightened his hold on her when she tried to throw him. "I think you do care, you care a lot. Otherwise you wouldn't be throwing this little fit."

She stopped struggling, her body going rigid and the fire dieing in her eyes. "I'm sorry to disappointed you. But we're only friends, comrades in the Marines."

"Fuck you."

He swooped in and colliding his mouth with hers, forcing her lips open with his tongue. One of his hands released hers to grab her hair in a tight grip. Before she could catch herself, she was kissing him back. They rolled in the sand again, fighting for dominance as their fingers raced across fevered skin. Both their shirts were gone before they broke for air. Charles sat up and pulled her onto his lap. His fingers undid her jeans then slid under the cloth to cup her ass. He grinned against her neck as she moaned, her nails raking down his back.

"I've wanted you so much." He whispered against her skin as his lips traveled across her skin.

"Shut up and kiss me." Rae growled, pulling him back for another bruising kiss. She pulled from him and stood, stepping from her jeans.

"This is just sex." She warned him when he smiled wide.

"Keep telling yourself that." He chuckled and pulled her to him. He kissed her thigh softly and looked up at her. "I know the truth."

Rae shoved his shoulder, causing him to lay back in the sand. He pulled his jeans off and she straddled him. Her mouth devoured his skin, her tongue circling his nipple. Charles groaned and pulled her back up to his mouth. He rolled her onto her back and wedged his knee between her legs, pressing firm against her. She gasped and held onto his shoulders.

Charles hovered over her, looking into her eyes. "Has there…"

She shook her head and pulled him in for another kiss, her teeth biting down on his lip. "Only you." She whispered. "God damn you Freeman there is only you."

He grinned and kissed her softly, changing the pace of things. His fingers went from hurried movements to gentle caresses. His lips went from devouring her to savoring her. She didn't have an defense against this and tried to hurry him along.

"Shhh love," He whispered into her ear and kissed the skin just under it. "Just relax."

  
  



	23. Chapter 23

Rae was stationed on ship after ship assigned to the ground team. She'd been sent after pirates that were targeting civilian transport ships. It was getting worse and worse as the years went on and everyone was waiting for the boiling point. Rumor was that the Batarians were behind the attack but without concrete proof humanity couldn't plead for the Council's interference. The Alliance had no choice but to assign armed guards to the supply and transport shuttles. There had been more than a few attacks and the casualty list continued to rise.

"God damn pirates." Second Lieutenant Marshal cursed besides her as he removed his helmet and threw it into his locker. They had just returned back to the ship after pushing a large wave off a remote colonies shipping port. They luckily avoided loses but it had been tough work.

Rae placed her own helmet in her locked and began to unseal her armor. "We start leave in the morning Marshall. Two weeks of R and R."

"Or two weeks of drinking and getting into fights in his case." The third part of their squad, Chief Quinn, chuckled besides them as she cleaned her rifle.

Marshall flipped her off. "It's better than those nature walks you gone on. How boring!"

They traded insults back and forth and Rae shook her head, stepping between them. "Knock it off soldiers. We each have our way of unwinding."

"What about you Lieutenant? Going back to Florida for you booty call with that hot Operations Chief?" Quinn chuckled then grinned as Rae shot her a glare.

It was an agreement that her and Charles had agreed upon. They kept in contact through the extranet all year but once a year for their two week leave they used his parent's place in Florida for a reunion. It had worked over the last couple of years until now. With the increase in pirate activity, Charles's leave had been denied in favor of his Major's leave. He'd been left in charge of his colony with strict instructions to not leave planet side.

"No," Rae finished putting her gear away and grabbed her shower kit. "FYI, I'm going to Elysium."

"Still getting that booty call though." Marshall ducked the punch Rae threw and laughed. "Oh come on Lieutenant we're happy for you. You've been really tense and could do with a good…. Massage." He finished at Rae's look, a smile on his lips.

"He means fuck ma'am." Quinn clarified and fled the room as Rae dove for the girl. Rae knew they were only teasing her but she needed to keep her squad in line.

"You're only laughing because you're jealous!" Rae yelled after the woman.

\----------------

Rae spared a glance at the high walls that the base supported, a defense that her colony lacked. With enough warning the Marines could get the colonists inside and shut the gates to intruders. According to the paperwork, Elysium also supported several satellites that circled the orbit searching for unauthorized intruders. All of which were upgrades made after Mindoir had been attacked. Elysium was the pilot colony for the project, testing out the theories on how humanity could protect themselves. Rae was one of the many Marines that supported the project and called for more protection.

After gaining access to the base, Rae made her way to central command and requested to see Charles. A young blonde fresh out of boot explained that Operations Chief Freeman wanted no visitors and that he was very busy.

Leaning against the woman's desk, Rae smiled sweetly and spoke in an even tone. "Private, the Chief and I go way back. He will want to see me. Now get on your phone and tell him that First Lieutenant Shepard is here to see him."

"I'm sorry ma'am but he strictly ordered me to not interrupt him." The woman squirmed in her seat.

Rae growled softly, "And I'm ordering you to interrupt him. Or are you going to disobey a direct order from a superior?"

The woman shook her head quickly. "No Ma'am."

"Good. Now pick up the phone." Rae straightened and smiled at her, trying to ease the woman's fear. She walked to the other side of the office and looked out the window.

"You can go in Ma'am." The private called out and saluted to her. Rae returned the salute before opening the office door and going inside. She was pinned to the door instantly, Charles's lips hot on hers. She grinned against his lips and grabbed the collar of his uniform to pull him closer.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what are you doing here Rae?" His breath was hot against her neck as his lips traveled against her skin.

"Harassing your secretary." Rae chuckled. "The poor girl just about feinted in fear."

"She's Navy." He pulled back from her and smiled, fingers caressing her cheek. "God Rae, it's been too long. I want you, now."

"I thought you were busy."

He growled and released her. Walking behind his desk he picked up the phone and pressed a button. "Private, I'm taking my lunch in the office. No calls, no visitors." He paused a moment. "No, I have my lunch here. In fact, you take lunch break as well. Thirty minutes, lock the door behind you."

He hung up the phone and grinned at Rae as he pulled his uniform jacket off. "There I'm officially on lunch."

Rae hummed as she circled around the desk. Pushing him into his chair before straddling him.

\-------------------

An alarm sounded and Rae rolled out of bed, her hand reaching for the pistol she kept under her bunk. It wasn't until her bare feet hit carpet instead of cold metal that she realized it wasn't the ship's alarm being sounded. Instead it was Charles's Omni-tool ringing on his wrist. The man chuckled and hit the snooze, eyes raking over her naked form.

"Now that was amusing." He sat up and reached out to her.

Rae glared at him and reached for her complimentary house coat. She glanced at the clock on the nightstand to find it was only oh five hundred. The two had been up all night getting reacquainted with each other finally collapsing in exhaustion about oh two hundred.

"Laugh it up buddy." She growled at him and headed for the small kitchenette to start some coffee. Now that she was awake there was no hope for sleep.

He rolled out of bed and pulled his boxers on before following behind her. He circled his arms around her and kissed the back of her neck. "Sorry, I forgot the thing was on. We can go back to bed. I can take a day off as long as I remain on call."

Rae hummed as she set the automated chef to make some coffee. "Too late, already awake."

"I didn't say anything about sleep." Charles chuckled and turned her around, kissing her.

Rae pulled from his arms and rolled her eyes. "You're insatiable. Down boy, I will drop you if you come closer." She warned him when he advanced with a smile on his face. "I'm serious Charles. I want coffee, breakfast, and a shower."

"Fine then." He pouted and returned to the bedroom area. Picking his uniform pants up, he buckled them on. "Raegan, where do you see us in five years?"

Rae raised a brow and poured herself her first cup of coffee. She grimaced at the acid taste, making a mental note to pick up beans at the market. "What brought this on?"

He sat on the edge of the bed and shrugged. "I don't know. I guess my reenlistment is coming up and I have an option to get out."

"What do you want?" She asked and poured him a cup, bringing it to him and sitting beside him.

"A family." He spoke softly, sensing the panic flooding Rae. "I want kids Rae. I want to raise them planet side on Earth, not moving ship to ship or base to base. I think I'm ready to settle down."

He looked at her, took her hand with his, and caressed it with his lips. "Raegan I love you. I want to settle down with you, raise our kids together."

"Are you asking what I think you are?"

He smiled at her, "I don't have a ring but yes. Will you marry me?:

Raegan pulled her hand away and rose from the bed. She retreated to the other side of the room, hugging herself tight. She'd been avoiding commitment all her life, she recognized that now. Even with Bodie she hadn't seen herself married with kids. "Charles I…"

His face fell and he retrieved his clothing. "Still running Raegan? Even after all these years you can't admit you care for me?"

"I'm sorry."

He shook his head and put his shoes on. "I've been stationed pretty much on the war front these last four years and nothing has happened to me." He cursed and threw his uniform jacket on. He paused at the door, looking over his shoulder. "Think about it Raegan. I can't wait around forever."

Rae flinched when the door slammed.

\----------

Rae had been in the grocer when the young Private from Charles's office found her. The woman had only explained that her presence was needed on base and then was bundled into a sky car. The Private then escorted her to a different building and let her into a room. Charles and several other soldiers all circled a small model of the planet with ten red dots circling orbit. Moving closer, Rae frowned when the soldiers saluted her.

"Thanks for coming Lieutenant." Charles touched the interface and pulled up a video feed. It showed several ships arriving through the relay then the video went to static. He replayed it and enlarged the still video of the lead ship. "Do you know the make of this ship?"

She walked closer and examined the screen before she nodded. "Call all the civilians in now."

"What is it?" One of the other soldier asked as others hurried through the room, making calls.

"It's the pirates, a large force of it." Rae spoke coldly, her eyes never leaving the screen. "Get your civilians behind the defenses and shut everything down. Send out the distress call."

Charles cursed and issued his orders. Rae turned to him, "How many men do you have stationed here?"

"At full strength we're at a hundred. But we've been quiet so the brass has been moving people and others are on leave off planet."

"You didn't answer me Chief. How many soldiers do we have?"

Charles frowned, "About sixty, but only twenty of those are combat ready."

Rae's eyes went back to the screen. It was happening again. This time she had fore warning, but the Batarians were coming back to haunt her. "I'm going to need some gear."

\----------------

Rae moved through the colony, checking every building for stragglers. She'd already sent more than a few to the base but they were out of time. The ships had been spotting in orbit hours ago and the shuttles were circling the out skirts of the colony.

"Shepard come in!" Her coms came alive in her helmet but she ignored it as she stopped her search long enough to bury a mine. "God damn it Rae, what is your position?"

"Close the gate Freeman, I'll be fine." Rae spoke over the coms and carefully removed the safety pin.

"Like hell you will. Report back to base."

"I'm the superior here Freeman." Rae growled and went into the next building, calling to see if anyone was there. "Now close the fucking gate and gear up. That's an order."

She could hear him cursing on the other end before issuing the order. She could picture the large metal doors swinging closed and locking in place by large bolts. Rae left the building to find a scouting group heading down the street kicking doors in. She unshipped her assault rifle and raised the sight as she sunk to one knee. Her barrier flashed blue over her armor just as she squeezed the trigger and killed the first bastard. She swung her rifle around and downed the second as he came from the building. The last two walked out at the same time. Rae killed the first and then lifted the last with her biotics.

"What are you here for?" Rae demanded as she approached him. When he didn't answer she rammed the butt of her rifle into his gut.

"We're your doom Human." The Batarian laughed and Rae lifted her rifle. She fired a couple shots into his gut. Rae looked to the edge of the colony before heading back to the base. There was nothing left to do but buckle down and wait for reinforcements.

  
  



	24. Chapter 24

Rae encountered three more scouting parties while she planted more mines through out the colony. She dispatched of each of them and continued with her work until her supplies ran dry. Returning to the base, she scaled the walls and dropped down on the other side with a frown on her face.

"I shouldn't have been able to do that unopposed!" She was screaming as she pulled her helmet off. Grabbing the first soldier she came across, she pointed at the wall.

"I want sentries on those walls twenty-four seven. If I can climb over the fucking Batarians can." She shoved him toward the wall and stalked over to command.

Grabbing a canteen of water she drank half and poured the rest on her head and entered the building. Slamming her helmet on the table, she drew everyone's attention to her. "Okay ladies, I'm taking charge here. Anyone got a problem with that?"

An older man stood up and glared at her. "No offense Lieutenant but what authority do you have here? You're not even stationed on this base. The Chief was given command and he's earned the right to lead us."

Rae glared at the man a few seconds before looking at all the men standing around the table. Finally her eyes settled on Charles who gave her a nod. She turned back to the one that spoke up and spoke calmly. "Tell me Corporal, when was the last time that any of you fought the pirates? Or hell, when was the last time any of you commanded a unit in live fire situations? Have any of you studied battle tactics? Or how about siege survival?"

As silence reigned, Rae planted her hands flat on the table and leaned forward. Her voice dropped into a deep growl. "No? Then shut the fuck up and sit down!"

Half of them followed her command before they knew what they were doing. The other half hesitantly took their seats but did so none the less.

"James, Lieutenant Shepard is more than qualified to take command." Charles spoke up, pushing the map across the table to her. "I am willing step down and acknowledge her command. If any of you have a problem with it, take it up with the review board when this attack is over."

Rae pulled the map to her and examined the colony. She mentally marked where she planted the bombs and when the enemy should find them. Her eyes darted over the contents, searching for anything they could use. "What's the eta on reinforcements?"

"Just under twenty-four hours." Charles spoke. "But with the numbers we're estimating, reinforcements may take days to reach base and provide extraction in the least. Estimates show a week or more before they can expel the pirates. It appears that they decided to make Elysium an example."

"It's a fucking blitz." Rae cursed. "They exploited us when we were at our weakest. Can someone tell me how they knew we'd be so understaffed?"

The silence was answer enough. It could be anywhere from pure luck to sabotage. Rae's fist clenched and unclenched as she fought the urge to punch something.

"Okay first things first. If they plan to siege us they're going to cut communication. So get out as much intel as you can while you can. Contact the fleets and tell them everything. Second, they're going to cut out supply of water." Her finger stabbed the water main that was leading to the base. "Probably blow the main. I want every bucket, glass, fucking thimbles filled with water. Anyone we don't have on sentry duty needs to be doing this. Those faucets better be running right to the last drop."

She looked up from the map. "And finally we need to arm anyone capable of firing a weapon."

"You want to arm the civilians!" The Corporal from earlier shouted and rose from his chair. "They don't know the barrel from the handle. They're farmers!"

"Then we'll teach them!" Rae shouted and moved around the table. "Do you think the slavers will care if they're farmers or not? Do you think we can hold the bastards back? We have sixty soldiers against hundreds!"

"Lieutenant maybe we should rethink this." Charles spoke up. "We're behind tons of concrete. If we hole up and wait for reinforcements.."

"That could take weeks to reach us Freeman." Rae shook her head. "We arm the civilians, teach them to fire the gun. Anyone older than fifteen gets a pistol and lessons on how to shoot it. That's an order." She glared at each of them before nodding. "Dismissed."

The room emptied out except for Charles. "Rae you asked me once to be your voice of reason. This idea to arm the civilians, to arm children, is asinine."

"It's the only chance we have." Rae spoke softly, eyes going to the still of the ships entering orbit. "Other wise we stand no chance."

She grabbed her helmet and snapped it on before leaving the room.

\--------------

Rae refused to sleep, pulling a double sift on the walls. Time seemed to slow between assaults, making the other soldiers on duty itchy and nervous. She could hear them shift around and whisper the doubts that plagued them. She had tried to encourage the ranks but fear held to tight a hold on their hearts. Lessons upon lessons of morale ran through her head as she sought for an answer. What they needed was a victory, something that could show them that they could survive this.

"Movement!" One of the sentries called out and the flood lights were turned on.

"Movement on the east wall!" The lights all narrowed to the point but they were too late. The explosion threw concrete into the base, blowing a large hole in the wall. Rae cursed and dropped to the ground, running before her feet hit the ground.

"TO ME!" She yelled, her assault rifle already peppering the Batarians flowing in.

"TO ME!" She yelled again and threw out her hand, a blue wave throwing a group back through the wall. She could hear the screams and the pleas as people were slaughtered. Soldiers called to their friends as gun fire littered the surge. A grenade was thrown and almost threw her back. Bodies began to fall on both sides and yet they kept coming.

"Get cover, pick your targets!" Rae commanded and shoved a young man behind cover as gun fire whizzed by them. Gritting her teeth, Rae shipped her rifle and pulled out her shot gun. She charged through the wall, her barriers deflecting a few bullets. Her shotgun ripped through their ranks and her biotics crushed them. Her hand lashed out and one of the Batarians lifted in the air. A sniper rifle fired and his head exploded. She mentally noted to thank the soldier before she kicked another in the gut. Adrenaline pumped through her as they converged on her. Her biotics flared to life as she killed one after the other.

Pain laced her head as she rolled from a blade. Blood streamed into her vision, coating everything in red.

"Hold the line!" She yelled out as she shoved her shot gun barrel into a gut and pulled the trigger. Her barrier wavered as it deflected another round of gun fire. She spun and threw a warp into the group. She lost track of time and of her kills, only focused on living to another day. Out of breath, Rae fell to her knee as she used the last of her biotics to lift the final enemy. Her shot gun fired and the body fell.

\-------------

Ten died in the assault, killed when the Batarians first blew the wall. Rae went to each of the dead and silently thanked them for their service, placing a light hand on their shoulder. The one that hurt the worst was a fifteen year old that had been crushed in the rubble. She had been on the wall, placed their by Rae with nothing but a pistol and light armor. The girl's mother cried over her and cursed Rae when she tried apologizing.

"May you one day feel this pain!" The woman yelled at her, tears streaking her face. "You took my daughter from me Lieutenant." Rae backed away from her, the woman's words weighing heavy on her heart.

'You had no choice.' Bodie followed behind her as she moved through the base, collecting reports on the damage.

"They're just farmers. I shouldn't have armed the children." Rae spoke softly under her breath as she looked over the wounded. Fifty had been hurt, injuries ranging from minor cuts to major gun shot wounds. The medics fought to save the worse of them while soldiers used medigel and first aid to patch up the rest.

'We were just farmers when they attacked Mindoir. Sometimes farmers need to become warriors to protect what they love.'

Rae growled and shook her head. "It's my job to protect them."

'And you did that by arming them.' Bodie took a step forward, his hand ghosting over her shoulder.

"Lieutenant!" A soldier ran forward and saluted her. "You're needed in communication."

"We got coms back up?" Rae asked and turned from the wounded.

"It took a little work, but we were able to patch a connection together."

Nodding, Rae hurried to the building. She skidded to a halt in front of the large screen and saluted the figure. "Good to see you sir."

"Good to see you was well Shepard." Hackett saluted back, "At ease soldier and give me a status update."

"Ten dead Sir. Another fifty injures, five of which are critical. The bastards blew a whole through the wall and rushed our blind side."

Hackett nodded and looked off screen for a second. "Our ground forces are trying to push through. We have shuttles in bound but we need a landing zone."

"I can do that sir." Rae mentally went through her possibilities, marking a few. "I'll have the coordinates forwarded to you in fifteen."

"Good work Shepard."

"Sir I have one request?"

"And what is that?"

"After we get the civilians out, I want to stay ground side." Rae took a step forward, her hands gripping the table in front of her. "I want to help rid the planet of those bastards."

Hackett nodded, a small smile crossing his lips before he could contain it. "Request approved Shepard. Get that wound cleaned up and prepare your civilians for extraction. Fifth fleet out."

The screen went dark and Rae turned, shouting directions. They had fifteen minutes to clear the east wall of the bodies and secure it for a landing zone.

"Lieutenant." Charles's secretary called out, her arm wrapped in a sling.

"What is it Private? I'm very busy." Rae growled as she stopped by the door.

"It's the Chief sir. In the confusion no one realized it."

Rae's heart clenched and a chill ran down her spine. "Spit it out Private."

The woman swallowed, "He was taken Ma'am. Him, ten civilians, and three other marines."

  
  



	25. Chapter 25

'Leave it alone or it'll scar.' Bodie cautioned.

Rae growled at her specter and scratched at the wound on her face despite his warning. She had spread medigel on it to quicken the healing and it now itched like crazy. She was in an extremely foul mood and was going to itch her itchy face. The civilians and wounded had been evacuated, leaving her with a small team of five soldiers. Rae closed her visor and lifted her shotgun up. She split their group into two teams and sent the other team to the east side of the colony. Her team went west and killed any Batarians they encountered. They smoked out several hold outs and slowly cut a chink in the Batarian line. Twice now they met up with the Alliance group, was updated on the status, and continued on their way. The Alliance was slowly winning, very slowly.

'You need to slow down.' Bodie cautioned as she pushed past her limits and threw another warp.

Rae ignored him and pumped shot gun shells into the enemy. She jumped over their cover and landed right in the middle on the enemy's trench. There was a call of confusion as her boot kicked a head back, snapping the neck. Spinning on her feet, she slammed the butt of her gun into another head and fire it toward a third. On and on it went until the trench was filled with blood and dead bodies.

Rae climbed out and sat on the ground, emptying her canteen. Her squad mates looked at her in awe, both of their mouth a gap.

"Where did you learn that?" One asked and Rae only smirked.

"You don't learn it, you either have the courage to do it or you don't." Rae answered him and pulled an energy bar from her pocket, devouring it in three bites. Pushing off the ground, she ignored the exhaustion that pulled at her. She had to find him, even if it killed her.

'I won't do him any good if you die.' Bodie growled, trying to get her attention. She continued to ignore him though.

"Where to next ma'am?"

"We keep pushing into enemy camp." She lifted her gun and pushed on.

\--------------------

Elysium had been saved, the enemy pushed from it's soil. The Batarians fled one week after they landed, taking only a few hostages as their prize. Rae had pushed herself past her limits, killing everything that crossed her sights, but it hadn't been enough. Charles had been taken without any hint on where they were taking them. To make matters worse the Alliance was rewarding her, again. The Star of Terra, one of the highest rewards a soldier could be rewarded. She accepted the medal without a word though, remembering her Coach's words. Sometimes people just had to celebrate your accomplishments.

Rae adjusted her dress blues collar, wishing to be anywhere but the party. High ranking officials mingled around her, all wanting a word with the hero.

'You look fine, stop fusing.' Bodie waved at her uniform with a smile. 'You should be proud Rae. You saved a lot of people.'

"I saved everyone but the one that mattered." Rae whispered into her glass before taking a large gulp of whiskey.

'It wasn't your responsibility to watch his back. He was a Marine, just like you.'

Rae frowned, "He was a Marine that I loved."

"Funny how you don't realize what you have until its gone." Rae spun and ground Carole Freeman standing behind her. The woman was dressed in her dress uniform was well but Rae could see the grief that hung on the older woman.

Rae nodded, swallowing the lump that formed in her throat. "I'm sorry for your loss Captain Freeman. The Chief was a great soldier and he will be missed."

"Raegan Shepard, I thought we were past formalities." Carole took a step forward and wrapped the girl in her arms, hugging her tight. "You're like a daughter to me child and I always thought you and Charles…" She choked a sob at his name. "Don't leave me too. Do you hear me?"

Rae stood stiffly in the other woman's arms at first but softened. Her arms wrapped around Carole and returned the hug. "Do you remember the cadence we sang at graduation?"

Carole nodded and took a step back, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Marine corps motto is do or die." She spoke softly.

Rae nodded and attempted a smile that turned into more of a grimace. "As soon as medical releases me I'm going after them. I will get Charles back and those bastards will pay for attacking humanity."

\---------------------

Rae pounded her frustrations into the punching back. The Alliance hadn't given her a new posting yet, instead keeping her on earth for various publicity. She'd been invited to talk shows, brought before defense committees, and even spoke to elementary students during a rally. She was tired of the cameras and reporters tracking her down, asking question after question. Everyone wanted a piece of the War Hero. She couldn't even walk around base without someone drooling over her.

"Lieutenant Shepard?" Rae growled and turned, ready to take out her irritation.

"What do you want?" She pulled the tape off her hands and stuffed it in her gym bag.

The soldier handed a data pad over. "For your work on Elysium you've been selected for Interplanetary Combative Training."

"What?" Rae frowned, taking the data pad and scrolling through it.

The soldier sighed, "N-School Ma'am."

That caught Rae's attention. Only the best was selected for the training and only the best of the best graduated. With an N7 designation she could ask for any position in the Marines and be given it. She could finally track down the pirates and get the vengeance she craved.

"Do you accept?"

Rae looked up and grinned, her eyes flashing. "Yes, when do I start?"

\-----------------

N-school had reminded Rae of boot. It was challenging and instructional. Her instructors weren't nearly as friendly though. Everything was a test. Everything. One of the candidates had been dropped because he was too deep a sleeper. The instructors had snuck into their barracks and attempted to assassinate them. Rae had snapped awake when her "attacker" had stepped on the wrong floor board. She had launched from her bed, disabled the man, and slammed him against the wall, her own knife against his neck. The candidate that had been dropped hadn't reacted until the instructor had the knife pressed firmly against his neck.

Soon after that, they had a parachute shoved into their hands and were pushed from a shuttle. Rae had to quickly dawn her pack, while free falling, and deploy it before she died a horrible death. Three had been dropped that day, only alive because biotics had caught them before they hit the ground. Each day brought a new horror, a new test, and each day Rae pushed her limits and passed them. She rose though the ranks, graduating each course. It took her over two years but she finally gained the N6 and Lieutenant Commander rank. She was assigned a new squad and ship.

"Decontamination complete. Lieutenant Commander Shepard now boarding SSV Einstein under Captain Carole Freeman." The VI announced as the inner doors opened. Rae froze for a split second, having not known that Carole was in command on her new posting.

She pushed her uncertainty to back of her mind and stepped into CIC. The Captain was waiting for her, standing at ease with the other offices. Rae dropped her sea bag and snapped into attention, her hand going up in salute. "Lieutenant Commander Shepard reporting for duty."

Carole saluted her back before smiling. Holding out her hand, she took Rae's in a firm hand shake. "Welcome aboard Shepard."

Carole turned slightly and waved a man over. "Shepard, this is Major Kyle. He's the commanding officer of your unit. He'll show you to your quarters and introduce you to your squad."

"Thank you Captain. Major." Rae picked her bag up and followed the man through the many decks of the Carrier. The man hadn't said a word, so Rae decided not to break the silence. They finally stopped and the man waved at a door.

"You'll bunk here. Restrooms are two portholes that way and the mess is two decks up. If you have any problems getting around, just ask the VI."

Rae nodded, "Yes sir."

"You're a legend in some circles Shepard." The Major spoke slowly as he glared at her. "But I don't let gossip and heresy precede a person. Prove your worth on the field LC and you'll earn my respect. Understood?"

"Yes sir." Rae frowned but didn't argue with the man. "Am I dismissed sir?"

The Major nodded, "Debriefing is at thirteen hundred hours. The room is directly behind CIC. Don't be late."

Rae watched the man leave before entering the bunk room. There was eleven other bunks in the room, some of which were occupied by sleeping soldiers. She quietly went to the only turned down bunk and laid the mattress flat before unpacking. There was little to no space between the bunks but Rae was grateful for an actual mattress.

\----------------

"Everyone I want you to meet squad five's new officer Lieutenant Commander Shepard." Carole spoke from the front of the room and motioned Rae to stand. Once she had done so Carole smiled, "Before the rumors start, yes she's a war hero. No, she's not in it for the fame. And lastly, she doesn't eat Batarian hearts for breakfast. Unless you picked up the habit in the last two years Shepard."

Rae grinned and shrugged her shoulders. "I heard it's an excellent source of iron. Besides, it's probably better than ship food."

That got everyone to chuckle and Rae sat down. Carole waited for everyone to calm down before continuing. "I bet you are all wondering where and what we'll be doing. Well ladies and gents we've been picked to lead a mission against the pirates that have plagued humanity."

Rae's heart clinched as the screen came alive behind Carole. A moon came into view then the satellite zoomed in to show movement on its surface. Figures moved about, carrying crates in and out of a cave.

"This is Torfan. Intel tells us that it's a pirate base. We'll be arriving in twenty-four hours and shutting them down." Carole grinned. "I think it's about time we gave the bastards a taste of their own medicine."

Plans of attack were made, roles were assigned, and fail safes were put in place. Rae was in charge of a squad of ten whose job was push through enemy lines and enter the cave. She was to search for any humans and rescue them to minimize casualties. Major Kyle was taking command of the other squads and attacking the base in a full frontal attack. He was to distract the enemy so that Rae and her squad could sneak inside. Once the civilians were safe, Rae was to turn around and attack the pirates from the rear. The debriefing ended with words of encouragement and everyone rose to leave.

"Shepard, just a moment please." Carole called out and Rae sat back down. When everyone left, Carole circled around her podium and sat besides her. "Raegan, it's been too long."

Rae offered her a small smile. "Sorry Carole but I wasn't given much chance to write in ICT."

Carole nodded in understanding and patted her shoulder. "I'm proud of you child and I'm sure Charles would be to. N6 is no easy feat."

"I want N7 Carole. Then I can use all of my power to find him. Who can deny me then? The War Hero of Elysium and the best damn Marine they have."

"It's been two years Raegan. He's probably.."

Rae stood from her chair and growled. "Then where's his body Carole? No, Batarians like to keep us alive. Make us their bitches."

"Is that any better than dead?" Carole sighed and rubbed her eyes. "He's my son Raegan, I've accepted long ago that I may never see him again. Why can't you?"

Rae turned back to her, "Because I'm the reason he's out there. I told him from the beginning that the people I care for get's hurt. He didn't believe me and because of that…" Rae shook her head, "No Carole. I have to find him. Whether it's his body or him is for the fates to decide."

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I decided to do both Elysium and Torfan with Raegan. The timeline worked so I figured why not.


	26. Chapter 26

Ten men and women all wearing hard suits and carrying weapons left little room in the small shuttle. The first lucky few had already claimed the chairs. The rest were forced to stand, gripping onto the hand straps that hung from the roof. The Major's group was already attacking, keeping the enemy's attention so they could sneak around the back. If everything worked out, they'd be off Torfan in under five hours. Rae should have known better.

The shuttle took a sudden turn and the pilot cursed. Pushing through the bodies, Rae entered the cockpit and leaned against the man's chair. "What was that Corporal?"

"AA guns ma'am." He cursed swiftly under his breath and avoided another shot.

"Intel didn't mention any AA guns!" Rae growled and slammed her helmet on her head, locking it in place.

"They must've been under ground ma'am because they suddenly appeared and started shooting at us." The shuttle lurched as one of the blasts grazed the side.

"Set us down Corporal. We'll walk from here."

"Yes Ma'am. I'll get you as close as I can."

Rae nodded and opened up communication. "Major come in."

"What do you want Shepard?" Rae could hear the man cursing and gun fire. "We're a little busy here."

"I need you to send a team to take out the AA guns. With them up we can't evacuate the civilians."

"If you want the damn things down, take them down yourself!" The Major growled. "Intel was scrambled. We've got heavies out here and taking damage."

Rae growled. It seemed intel had dropped a lot of balls. "Sir yes sir."

She closed the channel just as the shuttle landed. The squad filled up and lined up, awaiting her orders. Rae climbed out and the pilot took off, avoiding fire while quickly leaving. "Mission parameters have changed soldiers. The Major is taking heavy fire so we need to take care of the AA guns. Gunnery Chief Dickson."

"Yes sir!" The soldier stepped forward, pulling her sniper rifle from her weapons pack.

"Take Winslow and Retch to the guns and disable them. Make it quick and quiet, only engage when you have to. Once the guns are done, group up the with Major."

"Sir yes sir!" The three saluted her before splitting off at a jog.

Rae turned back to the remainder of her squad. "That means the last of us have to complete the mission. Push through and get the civvies out. It's going to be dangerous, I admit it. But they wouldn't have assigned this mission to us if we couldn't do it. So buckle up soldiers and let's give them hell!"

\------------

The cave was oddly silent and unguarded. After the initial push her squad had encountered no resistance. According to intel, they were more than half way into the cave and should have come across more than a few guards. It worried Rae. Nothing was ever easy.

'Maybe the Major has them all distracted.' Bodie tried to ease her tension.

Rae shrugged but didn't speak. Motioning to the others, she turned the corner and slowly made her way down the corridor.

'Do you hear that?'

Rae nodded. She could hear shuffling, as if someone wasn't completely picking their feet up. At the end of the hall was a door with a large data lock. Frowning, Rae motioned their back up engineer forward and escorted her to the door. With silent commands she ordered her squad to spread out along the corridor and protect their back sides. It didn't take long for the engineer to get the door unlocked. Rae pushed it open slowly. The room inside was dark, the light from the hallway being the only source of light. She turned her gun's light on and slowly made her way inside.

"You…. You…. You're human… did you…. You come to rescue…" A man stuttered as her beam crossed over him. His clothes were ripped and dirty and he wore a metal collar around his neck. His fingers itched at his neck, trying to peel the collar away.

"Shhh,,," Rae cautioned and knelt besides the man, pulling her canteen out. "Slowly now."

The man gulped greedily at the water and whimpered when she took it away. Rae knew if she gave him too much it would only make him sick. "How long have you been here?"

"Four… no no no… five… that's right five." The man twitches, his fists banging against his head. "They don't…. no this one cant…. I cant…"

"It's okay." Rae pulled his hands down and called for a medic. The medic rushed forward and quickly examined the man.

"It's not good LC. He's malnourished, dehydrated, and had multiple lacerations." The medic unwrapped an energy bar, broke off a piece and gave it to the man. "He needs more than battle field care."

Rae nodded and stood up, raking the room with her light. She could make out other shapes huddling in the corners, hiding from her. "Everyone in here, Vince and Arnold guard the door. Everyone else, be kind, go slow."

The soldiers filed in and split around the room. Lights were set up. There were about fifty in the room, all in varying degrees of injury. Now that the room was lit, Rae spotted the cell on the far side of the room. A man squatted inside, naked except for the collar around his neck. He rocked back and forth, mumbling to himself. She could see the dirty bandage that wrapped the bloody stump that was his right arm and scars that littered his body. Some of the marks were fresh while others were long time healed. Rae called the engineer to unlock the cell door as she tried to talk to him through the bars.

"It's okay." Rae squatted down, holding out her canteen. "Are you thirsty."

"Thirst.. Yes thirsty. But mustn't drink. They drug the water. Make me see.. Make me feel." Rae's heart stopped as he spoke. She knew that voice.

"Charles…"

The man stopped rocking and turned. His eyes widened in wild disbelief as he stood and rushed the bars. Rae stood her ground as he rammed his body against the bars, snarling. "No.. no. I told you. You can't use her. NEVER USE HER!"

"Shepard." The engineer called to her. "The door is unlocked but do you want to unlock it."

Rae stood and rushed to the door, throwing it open. She entered the cage and took a step forward. "Charles, it's Raegan."

He shook his head his hand going to his neck and digging at the collar. "It won't work." He growled and paced the room. "You can't break me, not with her. You took my arm but you can't take her."

Rae walked closer, her hand out stretched. "I'm here Charles. Take my hand, I'll take you home."

He snarled and lashed out with his hand. "There is no home. Just this cell. But you won't break me." He laughed coldly. "I won't be your slave!"

Rae rushed forward, grabbing a hold of him as his nails cut deep into his own neck. She grabbed his face and forced him to look at her.

"Is this fake?" She kissed him fiercely, urging him to remember. He froze for a brief second before tearing away from her, returning to his corner. He began his rocking again, mumbling. Now that she was closer she could tell it was the Marine Hymn over and over. In an attempt to keep himself sane he latched onto the chant that had been beaten into their head while in boot.

"First to fight for right and freedom; And to keep our honor clean. We are proud to claim the title; Of United States Marine." Rae chanted with him before snapping to attention. She knew how to get to him now.

"Operations Chief Freeman, Attention!"

Charles reacted before his mind could process the command. Rae grinned and dropped into her command voice. "About face! March forward, halt! Look at yourself. You shouldn't be allowed to be called a Marine anymore." She stalked around him. "Tell me, Are you a Marine?"

"Sir yes sir."

"What was that? I think I heard a mouse cough! I said, are you a Marine!"

"SIR YES SIR!"

"That's more like it Freeman. Now act like a Marine. Stand tall." Rae took a step back, opening the cell door. "Get out of here Marine. Fall in line. GO!"

Rae was rewarded with action. Charles ran out of the room and stood in the middle of the room at attention. He stood tall, chest out, and waited for his command. Sighing Rae commanded her troops to gather everyone else. "Let's get the fuck out of here."

\----------------

Rae could see the light at the end of the cave when all hell broke loose. Communications broke out in cries for help and gun fire. The unit called for the Major but he wasn't answering. Some squad leaders called out retreat while other cried for assistance. The Batarians were beating back their assault with superior forces and weapons. Rae looked back at her group and snarled.

"This is Lieutenant Commander Shepard. I need an update."

"Shepard, this is Lieutenant Grimms. The Major isn't responding. He's in shock and not responding to me." Rae could hear gun fire as the woman spoke. "We're currently pinned down. Squad one through three are pulling back. Squad six is pinned down and squad seven isn't responding. Half the unit is dead or wounded."

'You need to retreat Rae. Get out while you can.' Bodie cautioned as he moved through her group of soldiers and civilians.

"All squads hold." Rae spoke into her comms, growling her orders. "I am declaring the Major unfit for duty. Anyone second it?"

"I do sir." Grimms responded.

"Lieutenant Dunns of squad six thirds it."

Rae nodded, "According to chain of command Lieutenant Commander Shepard is now in command. I am ordering you to stand your ground. Gunnery Chief Dickson, did you get those guns down!"

"That's an affirmative. My team and I are now in heaven ma'am. Picking targets with our rifles and sending them to hell."

"All snipers circle around and join them. Keep firing until not a single one is up. Anyone with biotics better keep hitting them. If your tired eat a god damn energy bar. Engineers take down their turrets and heavies. All squads converge and push together. I repeat all squads converge and push together."

Rae ordered quickly and motioned for her second in command to step forward. Turning to him, she spoke quickly. "You're to follow through with the mission. Get the injured to the shuttles and out of here. Afterwords, hit the Batarians from behind. Understood?"

"Yes sir." He saluted her then ordered the group forward. Rae watched them disappear before pulling her shot gun out.

'You're not doing what I think you're going to do.' Bodie cursed when he noticed Rae stretch her neck.

"If you mean charge right down the middle and shoot everything? Then yes, that's what I'm going to do." Rae grinned at him.

'You're going to get killed.'

"No I'm going to get the payback I've always wanted." Rae turned her comms back on as she jogged out of the entrance, right for the battle.

"To me soldiers! To me!" She called out as she shot the first Batarian in the back with her shot gun. "If we stand together we'll win this thing. Remember the fallen, remember the taken. Today humanity bites back and we teach these bastards a lesson. Let me hear your battle cry! HOO-RAH!"

"HOO-RAH!" The comm was flooded and they rushed forward.

\----------------

Only a third of the unit survived the attack. Only a few of them was capable of walking away from the bloody mess. The Batarians surrendered after their numbers fell. Only twenty remained in the end. Rae had them lined up, hands tied behind their back and put on their knees. She raised her pistol to the first one and placed it firmly against the four eyed bastard's forehead. He closed his eyes when she pulled the trigger. None of the remaining unit complained as she moved down the line, executing each of them. With each squeeze Rae remembered. She pictured her family, squeeze. Sydney, squeeze. Coach, squeeze. The fifteen year old girl, squeeze. The last one was crying, begging for his mercy. Rae lifted her pistol and placed it against his head.

'Rae don't do this.' Bodie pleaded with her, his hand ghosting on her shoulder. 'Have mercy.'

Rae closed her eyes, remembering him. His smile, his scent, the love in his eyes. She almost didn't squeeze it, she almost listened to him. But then a new memory came rushing forward. Charles smiling at her with his knowing grin suddenly turned to his cowering form in the cell.

"This is mercy," Rae responded in a growl, her eyes catching fire with fury. She squeezed the trigger and watched the body drop.

"Burn the bodies," Rae commanded, returning her pistol to her hip and turning from the dead forms. "They don't deserve a proper burial."

\-------------------

Rae returned to the Einstein thirty hours after leaving it. She hadn't stopped until they double checked the caves and burned all the bodies. They gathered what intel they could from the site then made it a crater. She had watched the explosion from orbit and was strangely satisfied as the inferno consumed everything. The ship's infirmary was filled with the critically wounded and the ship's docking bay was working as a second infirmary for the rescued civilians and other wounded. Rae had received several wounds, including a gun shot wound to the arm. The bullet had made it through her depleted barriers, past her shields, and into her armor to lodge itself into her arm. She now sat on a makeshift table as one of the combat medics dug the lug out.

"God damn it, can't you just take it out?" Rae cursed as the medic prodded around the wound.

"Sorry Ma'am but I need to make sure I won't damage your arm further by taking it out." The medic apologized before raising a portable x-ray to her arm. It took a picture quickly which the medic than examined.

"Officer on deck!" One of the guards called out as Carole exited the elevator. All of the soldiers snapped to attention and waited for the as you were. Settling back onto the table, Rae dug into her pants pocket and pulled out her flask. She took a quick slug of it before the medic tore it from her grasp.

Rae was reaching for it again when Carole pulled it out of reach and dropped it in her own pocket. "That wouldn't be advisable Lieutenant Commander."

"Well if the medic would just take this damn bullet out I could retire to my bunk and get drunk in peace." Rae growled out as the medic began to apply antiseptic to her arm.

"Be nice to the doctors Shepard. They have sharp needles." Carole cautioned. "When you're done here come to quarters. We have much to discuss and I have the good stuff in stock.":

"Yes ma'am." Rae hissed as the medic used a scalpel to open the wound a little more.

"You did good down there Shepard. You held the unit together."

\---------------------

Rae's arm was in a sling and partial cast. The bullet had hit and broke the bone. The medigel would take care of the wound but only time would heal the arm. She had other minor wounds but they'd only take a few weeks to mend the skin back together. Just a few more scars to add to her collection, nothing new.

She knocked on Carole's door and entered when the door opened. The woman was sitting in her lounge area, drinking a whiskey. Rae joined her and accepted the glass that was presented to her. They sat in silence, neither wanting to acknowledge the situation. Charles was locked in the brig, for his and the crews safety. The doctor had treated his wounds and redressed his stomp, but there was nothing he could do for the man's mind. Only time and therapy could heal the unseen wound.

"Thank you Raegan." Carole spoke first, sitting forward in her seat and putting a hand on Rae's knee. "You found him."

"He's still lost Carole, you and I both know that." Rae stood from her chair, draining her glass in one gulp. "I don't know if we're ever going to get him back." She paced the room, wanting to hit something.

"But we're going to try." Carole sighed and rubbed her face. "I already spoke with my husband. He's going to retire and take care of Charles in Florida. We've already hired a personal nurse and therapist to stay with them. We're getting a bigger place to accommodate."

Rae nodded. "And what about you Carole?"

"I just reenlisted. Maybe in five years I'll retire as well, but for now I'll remain Captain of the Einstein. What about you Raegan?"

Rae stopped her pacing and looked at the woman. Technically Rae could get out next year, earlier if she pushed the right buttons. She achieved her goal, the name Shepard was a beacon of hope. Or it was. After her actions on Torfan though, things may have changed. She had feelings for Charles, she knew that now. But did she want to leave the Alliance?

"I don't know Carole." Rae poured herself another whiskey then offered the bottle to Carole. "He thought I was an illusion, a phantom. I couldn't… I couldn't put him through that torture again."

Carole accepted the bottle and poured herself another glass. "Why don't you hold off any decision until we hear what the doctor has to say. We're going straight to Earth and getting everyone help."

Rae nodded, "I can do that."

\------------------

"Miss Shepard's presence stresses Mister Freeman. He can't grasp that she's real. Studies show that the collar releases a chemical into his blood stream that caused him to hallucinate." The doctor spoke calmly to the three of them. Charles's father had joined them in the hospital while Charles was getting the full work up. "We assume that the chemical makes the wearer picture their desires being ripped from them."

"What's your recommendation then doctor?" Carole asked.

"I recommend that Mister Freeman get therapy daily until his reality can be restored. In the mean time," The doctor turned to look at her. "I recommend that you remain absent Miss Shepard. Maybe in a year or two he can accept that you're real and you're not going anywhere. Now if you excuse me, I have other patients to attend to."

"Thank you doctor." The three of them thanked him then remained in silence. It was several minutes until Charles's father excused himself to get them all coffee.

"Raegan…" Carole started.

"He asked me to marry him." Rae spoke quickly the growled as she scrubbed her face. "He wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and I couldn't say yes. It stuck in my throat. I was scared."

"That's understandable child. With everything you've been through."

Rae shook her head. "No, I'm just a fucking coward. Now the doctor says maybe, if he believes I won't go anywhere." Rae cursed, "I can't promise that Carole. God damn it I love him, there I said it. But I can't make a promise like that."

Carole sat silent for a few minutes before pulling the girl in for a hug. "Don't completely disappear from us Raegan. Where are you going?"

"To fight for humanity. Brass wants to talk to me but then I go back out to the stars." Raegan replied and hugged the woman back.

  
  


 


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is the final chapter of Genesis.

Rae dressed in her best uniform, ready to face any fire the brass may throw at her. The reports stated that she executed unarmed prisoners. The heat she was about to receive was bound to be monumental. She entered the large room and saluted the four admirals sitting at the desk. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted her ICT instructor and frowned. Why would he be here?

"Lieutenant Commander Shepard." Hackett spoke from the desk, drawing her attention back to the desk.

Rae snapped to attention and saluted the Admirals. "Reporting as requested sir."

"At ease soldier." Hackett, lifted a data pad. "I have here the report of the incidents on Torfan from multiple parties. It says here that it was your job to infiltrate the base and retrieve prisoners that were inside."

"Yes sir." Rae shifted her weight, readying for a long debriefing.

"Allow me to explain Sir." And she told them everything, from her point of view. She ended with her shuttle docking in the Einstein. "I did what needed done sir."

Hackett nodded and retook his seat. Another Admiral stood and lifted his own data pad. "Tell us Shepard. What would you do differently?"

"Intel sir. It dropped the bar on multiple occasion." Rae spoke frankly. "If we'd known about the AA guns I wouldn't have needed to split my team and might have gotten the prisoners out quicker. If we'd known about the heavy artillery, maybe Major Kyle wouldn't have broken under the pressure of loosing so many men and there'd be more alive today. But that's all what if Sir. Given the same situation, I'd do it all over again. The Alliance needed this victory sir. We needed to show the galaxy that humanity isn't going to take shit."

The man nodded and sat down, waving to the other Admirals. One by one, each stood and asked a question or two. Rae answered each one truthfully and to the fullest of her ability. When it was done, her instructor stepped forward and had a quiet word with the Admirals.

Finally Hackett stood again and cleared his throat. "Shepard this hearing was brought together to determine several things. One if you were still fit to lead a team. Two, if you'd be willing to do what ever it took to get the job done. And three, what we should do with you. After much deliberation we have come to a conclusion."

Hackett looked at the other Admirals who all stood, "You are hereby promoted to the rank of Commander in the Alliance military. Your instructor has also informed us that your actions on Torfan has proven your abilities. Commander Reagan Shepard, you have earned the title of N7."

The Admirals all raised their hands in salute. Rae snapped to attention and raised her own hand.

"You will receive your new orders tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of the day Commander."

\-----------------

Reagan had taken part of the Theshara Raids. The Alliance had tracked several pirate FTL trails to the moon and decided to end the attacks once in for all. Because of her work on Elysium and Torfan, she'd been given full reign on the project. She pieced together a team of fifty soldiers and divided them up into teams of ten. Most Commander's gave orders from the back, protected by the lines of tropes. Not Reagan. She stood at the front and rallied her troops. Even with her broken arm, she charged head long into the fight and ended the pirate raids on human colonies.

After the raid, there wasn't much for Raegan to fight. She moved around from ship to ship doing various missions. She even fought along side a few Turians against the Blue Suns. It had been an educational experience. Rae had discovered that her hatred for the Batarians didn't extend to all other species. In fact, she found herself more at ease with aliens than she did with humans.

Carole kept in touch, sending Rae messages through the extranet. Charles's condition was improving but he still had episodes of panic once in a while. Rae stuck besides her decision and didn't visit him ever. The wound on her heart had healed but she couldn't chance his health.

It was her twenty-ninth birthday and she had been granted leave. Dressed in civilian clothing, Rae pulled the hood of her brother's jacket down to hide her face. She stepped off the shuttle and took a moment to look around. The last time she'd been here, the port had been engulfed in flames and pocked marked with rifle and mortar fire. Hunching her shoulders, Rae hurried through the streets and tried not to notice how everything was different. It took her awhile to find her way around but she finally found the graveyard.

She stopped in front of their graves and slid her hood off. Squatting down, she took a moment to look at each of the head stones. She didn't know who had ordered them and made a mental note to thank them.

"I forgive you," She spoke softly and hung her head. "You guys were hurt, every one of you. You'd lost a brother or a son and didn't get to say good-bye like I did. So you hated me for it and I can't blame you anymore. You're my family and I only wish you could be alive to hear this."

Rae took a deep breath. "The Shepard name means something now. Depending on who you talk to I'm either a hero or a butcher, either way they know I will go to any lengths to protect them."

She stood and looked around. The site was filled with headstones. The number of people lost during that attack. "Your sacrifices will not be forgotten."

She closed her eyes and for a brief moment she could see everyone gathered around her. They all smiled at her, pride in their eyes. She opened her eyes to find only Bodie standing there, a smile on his face.

'I love you Rae.' He turned to leave.

"Wait, where are you going?" Rae called out, tears forming.

'You don't need me anymore.' He looked at her over his shoulder. 'You haven't for a while but you weren't ready to admit it. Live your life to the fullest Rae. And be happy.' He faded away, a smile on his face just reserved for her.

"Commander Shepard?"

Rae turned to find a soldier standing on the edge of the graveyard. She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and went over to him. "Yes, how can I help you?"

The soldier saluted her then held out a data pad. "Orders ma'am."

"But I'm on leave." She took the pad from him and began to read the contents.

"Yes Ma'am. But Captain Anderson requested you personally. You're to report to the Normandy at Arcturus Station tomorrow at oh six hundred."

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Child reference for Raegan and Bodie: http://brittsis.tumblr.com/post/85754424704  
> Teen reference for Raegan and Bodie: http://brittsis.tumblr.com/post/85754945099  
> Adult reference for Raegan: http://brittsis.tumblr.com/post/85755015094  
> Charles face reference: http://brittsis.tumblr.com/post/88060449399  
> Carole Freeman face reference: http://brittsis.tumblr.com/post/90312747754/detailgestures-cindy-joseph


End file.
